Hi Jeanie. Yes he did but he never got any. I am from a part of Ireland where we are renowned for our meanness. Oh i got the army story and something to do with hurting his leg had to have a big operation and 'baby i am really shy to ask'.. My response 'then dont ask answer will be no'. I owrk too hard for what i get to send it to him. In the end it wasnt worth all the hassle. So bye bye Beja man I hope you do what is right for you. xx
How many times have you been over to see him? have you met his family? friends? does he use excuses if you call him etc? Have you talked about any plans for the future? I dont really know what to say hun, i feel for u i really do. if your feeling so suspicious about it then i think ur alram bells may be right, we all have a little bit of doubt on and off but yours seems to be quite strong! what did he say the money was for that he wanted from you and how much was it?? If you want to talk privately to me u can, are you on facebook? if so add me, search for 'wobblegob' and u will find me
ive known him nearly 2 years. i met him on tagged in nov 2008, went to tunisia march 2009 to meet him for the first time. they can be very devious but there are some that are genuine. as for saying what i wanted to hear, thinking back maybe he did, he was very kind caring, and loving. but beware if he asks you for money and things like iphones and laptops beware, sometimes the whole family can be invovled, take care
We have only been together 4 months, i think most of us that are new to this have the same reservations about it.
there is always going to be doubt because of them being so far away from us and reading stories like them doesnt help matters for us in our heads. I have been in relationships with guys in the past that have lived with me and still cheated and treated me terribly. Its not just the ones from abroad!! Personally i feel happy and trust that D is not a rat, he has shown no signs of being a rat, i have been over and met his parents, he is coming here to meet my family next year and he is planning to move here after we are married. He has treated me 100% better than most of my ex's from this country!! i dont think you should worry but stay vigilant and keep your wits about you hun, u cant let it bother you too much otherwise the time you spend together will not be happy but you always being suspicious.
Ah i see, i have an iPhone and take it with me when i go over, before i found a cheaper way to get in touch with him (good old Tesco PAYT sim) i asked him how much they were in tunisia and if he could get one because we could use skype and free texting apps to keep in touch, so i could save money. last time i went over he asked me if i could get him one, i said i would look into how much they were. im not going to get him one because they are too expensive to buy, i had mine free with my contract. We are getting married next year and he will be moving here to the uk once we are married so im going to tell him to wait and get a contract when he lives in the uk. i am speaking to him later. He hasnt asked me before to ever take him anything back, just the iPhone last time i visited but i cant help but think i put it in his head saying it in the first place so i think its my own fault really!! :-/ xx
Hi Jeanie, we did txt alot but hubby is here now and has been for 18mths. He was on tunisiana network and i use O2. They can txt more if they choose too - sometimes they just dnt. My hubby was out of work alot but lived at home. Hope this helps x x
Thanks Jeanie,yes it's good to know, thanks.We are trying desperately to make sure there will be enough mainly in my husbands own funds to be able to support him when he is here.I've already got him a job application here and the company said for him just to take it in himself when he gets here because there are jobs.Anyway I'm busy gathering letters, phone bills etc. to support our relationship.My friend said you only have to look at us together to know we are genuine so i hope they see it like that too....xx
You should still be able to claim benefits if he is not living with you providing that he is not in work himself.if he is in a position to support you then i doubt very much that you will be able to claim anything.i have still to inform them that i am married ,but as I understand it, my benefits will be stopped while they investigate.He can't support me yet as the work he is doing is only casual and as its not every day, he doesn't have a regular income.He has of course provided me with a legal paper showing that his work is only on a daily basis.As I have no money myself to support him, we have opened a bank account in Tunisia that we can both put money in for his visa,and also to help towards an income for him to live on when he gets here,as he is not allowed to live off my benefits.if you find out about someone helping with the forms, please let me know as all i know about is if you need help from a solicitor,but solicitors are something we just can't afford. ceecee x
hi jeanie..read ur thread ab love rats and believe me i was there too...after readin threads on this website,i was worried too and doubt the intentions of my hubby (now husband ),kept questionin him,but didnt really help coz he blamed me that i dont trust him...after a while i stoped worrying and reading threads also lol and it got better,coz he never gave me a reason not to trust him,it was me..reading sm stories...i have no doubt now my hubby is for real, i wouldnt worry ab these threads,ye they are real but doenst have to mean its ur case too,only u know ur hubby and can see if hes for real or no..good luck ,if u wana talk ..im here xx
Thanks for your reply, I think it does help having someone in the same position who understands.All this is still very new to me. Im going back to see him in September and i will see what he says.
Can you still claim your benefits as you are married but not living together ?
Have you heard of the agency's that help to do the visa forms and they advise what the best way around things are...someone mentioned them on this site somewhere, i thought about looking into that.
I hope things work out for you and i will let you know if i find anything out.
as of yet we don't know what will happen because of me being on benefits, but i am trying everywhere for him to see if i can get him the promise of a job to come to.I think it should make it easier for us if he has work to go straight in to.other than that we are trying to save between us,not just for the visa but also because he is going to have to show he can support himself while he looks for work.As for him being your carer I'm not sure if that will work but it's worth looking into.We have only just got married and we have a fair way to go yet, but anything i can find out i will gladly help you with.The only thing with a visit is that it's going to be just as hard to obtain as a spouse visa from what i am told.we decided against that because of the additional expense, and even that can be refused too.Let me know how you get on and good luck with everything, and as soon as i find anything else out i will keep you up to date...xx