Advice on Tunisian man - please help

#1
Hello,

I am going to make this as simple as possible. I just need honest opinions on a man I met in tunisia last week, as I know all the rumours, and don't want to be caught out.
I know a lot of people are thinking, if you are asking then he's probably not good, but honestly, I just know the stories and don't want to be one of them.

I'm 24 and he is 28, waiter in a hotel (maybe a bad start), I went on holiday with my parents and he approached me when I was with them. He told me I was pretty, and I said 'i bet you say that to all the girls', jokingly. Later on, I bumped into him and he reminded me that I said this, and told me I was wrong.

One day I had food alone and he made me a nice table and told me again that I was pretty and asked if I would like to meet after work, to go swimming. I declined this offer but after a few days I decided to accept his Facebook request and met him in the evening for a drink.

We met every night for the rest of the holiday and formed a good friendship. He was very vocal as tunisians are. Saying things like I'm pretty and that he wants a relationship with someone special etc. Which I was sceptical of.

When I got to know him more, I learned that his brother lives in the UK with a woman he met here and has two children. He also lived here for a few years with his brother, and studied something to do with catering. Not 100% sure why he moved back to Tunis, but he said he wanted to be near his parents.

He did try and sleep with me but I declined and he never forced me to do anything I didn't want to, but he did make it very clear that he wanted to on a few occasions. We just kissed.

He didn't let me pay for a thing and didn't ask for anything, apart from changing some pound coins he had as tips into some notes.
We spent some time in his apartment just drinking wine and listening to some music, and other times we went to a coffee shop.

He says he would love for me to visit again and I did speak to his brother on the phone, as I called and his brother answered because he was using the bathroom. His brother (as stated lives in the UK) was visiting, and whilst on the phone asked about where I lived and said his brother had told him about my studies etc.


Apart from him saying things like wanting to get to know me and calling me his queen sometimes (lol), he hasn't really been too weird. He gave a book as he knew I was always reading around the pool, and also gave me a charm of his to put on my bracelet to remind me of him.

That's all I have. Any opinions welcome.
 

admin

Administrator
Staff member
#2
Well he does seem persistent so it's unlikely that your the first. It's not professional to proposition female customers at work but then again if you dont ask you dont get.

To be fair when I was mid twenties I was after anything that moved.

He has a motive to move to the UK and although he paid for things I would take it slow and enjoy it for what it is.

He may also become disillusioned if you area a student and cannot sponsor him etc to come to the UK.

I think it is very unlikely that he will get a visitors visa as his brother is already here.

You have to think about what you want from life you are only 24 do you want the responsibility of such a relationship? Do you want the worry of looking at him and thinking was I tourist number 4 that month and do you only like me for a visa to live with your brother.

You will probably have similar reservations about a Uk boyfriend....but at least you wont have to take the quasi parental role of sponsoring them and sorting them out and most likely paying for the big bills that are on the way.
 
#3
Well he does seem persistent so it's unlikely that your the first. It's not professional to proposition female customers at work but then again if you dont ask you dont get.

To be fair when I was mid twenties I was after anything that moved.

He has a motive to move to the UK and although he paid for things I would take it slow and enjoy it for what it is.

He may also become disillusioned if you area a student and cannot sponsor him etc to come to the UK.

I think it is very unlikely that he will get a visitors visa as his brother is already here.

You have to think about what you want from life you are only 24 do you want the responsibility of such a relationship? Do you want the worry of looking at him and thinking was I tourist number 4 that month and do you only like me for a visa to live with your brother.

You will probably have similar reservations about a Uk boyfriend....but at least you wont have to take the quasi parental role of sponsoring them and sorting them out and most likely paying for the big bills that are on the way.

I really like this answer, thank you for taking the time to reply!
I completely agree about the age thing, to be honest, if be happy to just see it as fun, after all you only live once right? Just have to make sure I take care of myself :)

Please can you expand on the visitor's visa as I am unsure about how this works! :)
 

admin

Administrator
Staff member
#4
I completely agree about the age thing, to be honest, if be happy to just see it as fun, after all you only live once right? Just have to make sure I take care of myself :)

Its all fun as you are on holiday. As a relationship should be its all going out relaxing and sex. However it then goes really stressful and expensive with visas, tests and tickets.

You will have to pay for all that as it will be thousands.

Please can you expand on the visitor's visa as I am unsure about how this works! :)


There is a thread called getting Tunisians to the uk thread with it all in. See on your embassies page for the latest details as it changes all the time. This costs a lot of money and they will most likely say no unless you have 3 years + worth of 18K + a year earnings.

I say this because they will rightly consider a Tunisian waiter would think hey i will either stay with the wife...or if that does not work out stay with my brother and work as a waited for xxk£ rather than xx dinars.

They will think no way will he return.
 
#5
Hi. I myself, have a marriage with a paperless, it took us 8 years, before he got his papers and we could settle down.
Do i recommend it others? NO! Never.. I regret my whole life, bcus of those Stressful 8 years, that i will never get back.
I have lost so much! Now we will soon live in separate homes, bcus we obviously cant stand each other anymore.
We wont go into a divorce, we will still be married, bcus we still have feelings for each other
(he will not loose his documents if we divorce) We have a 6 year old son together.
Did he change after he got papers and job? Yes.. To the better? no ..
I know many stories out there, even some of them r my friens, almost all have just been used.
When the man gets what he want, then he dont need u anymore.. So be very careful.. It is not worth it, to be honest.
But all cases is not like this, you can be the lucky one! But if the story starts with a "waiter, meeting a tourist" then it usually do not end good.
If you meet someone who has it all, and do not need papers etc, u meet them through others , and it starts with a friendship (Without this pretty, sexy talk) Then it can be real.. But if it starts with a man telling u how pretty u r, and that he want u right away, before he even know who u r, n what u stand for, then its mostly bad intentions? and they r after the papers/visa ****.. Be very careful, do not start a relationship before u know who they r, what they stand for, do they match with u or not? its nothing to hurry about. Take time, get to know each other, grow respect between each other, b4 u go "there".. I wish u good luck, anyway, and hope u follow ur heart n dreams, and that it goes well with u!:)
 
#6
Hi. I myself, have a marriage with a paperless, it took us 8 years, before he got his papers and we could settle down.
Do i recommend it others? NO! Never.. I regret my whole life, bcus of those Stressful 8 years, that i will never get back.
I have lost so much! Now we will soon live in separate homes, bcus we obviously cant stand each other anymore.
We wont go into a divorce, we will still be married, bcus we still have feelings for each other
(he will not loose his documents if we divorce) We have a 6 year old son together.
Did he change after he got papers and job? Yes.. To the better? no ..
I know many stories out there, even some of them r my friens, almost all have just been used.
When the man gets what he want, then he dont need u anymore.. So be very careful.. It is not worth it, to be honest.
But all cases is not like this, you can be the lucky one! But if the story starts with a "waiter, meeting a tourist" then it usually do not end good.
If you meet someone who has it all, and do not need papers etc, u meet them through others , and it starts with a friendship (Without this pretty, sexy talk) Then it can be real.. But if it starts with a man telling u how pretty u r, and that he want u right away, before he even know who u r, n what u stand for, then its mostly bad intentions? and they r after the papers/visa ****.. Be very careful, do not start a relationship before u know who they r, what they stand for, do they match with u or not? its nothing to hurry about. Take time, get to know each other, grow respect between each other, b4 u go "there".. I wish u good luck, anyway, and hope u follow ur heart n dreams, and that it goes well with u!:)
Aww how lovely are you! Thank you so much! I am so sorry you are unhappy!
I'm training to be a biomedical scientist and I honestly have too much to lose, there is no way I would never make a hasty decision. My career is what is important to me, honestly :)
 
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