Divorce - about to or have divorced a Tunisian
- Thread starter Essem
- Start date
Frances benmalek
New Member
Frances benmalek
New Member
" JUST trying to say that I feel for leesa. I to married a Tunisian man after being friends for nearly 10 years. The last 3 years we took the relationship a step further. The marriage was sep last year and we were working on getting his English test and visa. I went out on the 27 April this year and everything went wrong. He had changed so much. Aggressive wanting money, he eventually left me alone in an apartment and took all my money.luckily I can speak some Arabic and I got access to the Internet and booked the first flight back to the UK. I was not staying this man that I had lived and cherished turned into a monster in a week.thank god I saw the light before test and visa done.i know he will divorce me. How will I find out if he has?i have no intention of pursuing one. Because it's right what folk say they want it more. So they can move onto the next victim whether after 6 months a year or 10 years- stay away from them... can't be trusted "
You did the right think by distancing yourself from this monster and good for you for having the sense to get out of there quickly and back home. So many don't thinking or hoping that they can change these men. Sounds like the situation would only have deteriorated.
Let him have the stress of divorcing you, while you sit back and relax now that your safely away from him.
European/western women are a means to an end to these guys. I think if you're realistic and think that you might get a couple of years happiness/fun out of it then go for it if that's what you want, as long as you know the probability of what's in front of you. But if you're getting nothing out of it except grief etc then it's time to call a halt.
You did the right think by distancing yourself from this monster and good for you for having the sense to get out of there quickly and back home. So many don't thinking or hoping that they can change these men. Sounds like the situation would only have deteriorated.
Let him have the stress of divorcing you, while you sit back and relax now that your safely away from him.
European/western women are a means to an end to these guys. I think if you're realistic and think that you might get a couple of years happiness/fun out of it then go for it if that's what you want, as long as you know the probability of what's in front of you. But if you're getting nothing out of it except grief etc then it's time to call a halt.
Frances benmalek
New Member
I did have fun .... But I have my own self respect to keep in tact. Only so much name calling and violence you can take .... You can't change stupid .
I shall sit back and think of his sad life there always having to beg for money and attention. And his inability to get a life
Not that I'm bitter lol
Louise1983
New Member
ROULLA
Registered User
Hi Louise and welcome to the forum!
I think that he is pulling his wife and his girlfriends legs if you ask me, what kind of man gets married in 2013 and then wants a divorce in November 2014. Bearing in mind that he has been having a relationship with your friend in that time, I would advice your friend to get rid of him before its too late, it will save her a lot of money and heartache at the end of the day.
guitarlady
New Member
my husband in tunisa has just got his spouse visa.but i really am confused as the last time i spent with him.it made me realize that i am not in love with him like i thought i was ,when we got married over 3 years ago.and he looking to book flight to come to the uk now.what could i do to stop this from happening as i cant live a life of lies ,he just get his visa 2 week after me being there.and that time i was there it showed me that we are so different and that it wont work ,i know he loves me so much .but i am not in love with him .please can anybody help thankyou
DARK ANGEL
Well-Known Member
If u don't feel that ur in love with him , tell him the truth then , as you said u won't live in lies , life without feeling is similar to the hell also seems really stranger that you have this feeling after all this time ???? i think you will destroy all his dreams ! Are you sure he loves you not he is looking for visa?how did you met ur husband? did u spent a good time before you got married? Try to think very well , at last u must let him know ur real feeling !
Jane BM
Well-Known Member
Are you in the UK guitar lady? You married your husband 3 years ago but have you only recently applied for his spouse visa? That's a long time....so have you been travelling back and forth to Tunisia for the last 3 years?
It's only fair to him that you tell him how you feel BEFORE he comes....to wait for him to leave Tunisia would just be cruel.
guitarlady
New Member
i have tryed telling him soon as i got back from tunisia .and that was atleast 1 week before he got his visa and he just kept saying ,that i am getting inpationt waitng as took long time to get his visa,but i still feel the same now he has his answer to the visa,i did meet him on the internet 3 years talking before we met in person ,then i went there a few times before we got married ,but the last 6 months i started to loose feeling .and like i said above the last time i was there really proved to my self that no i not in love ,how do i stop him from coming here and making a big mistake
guitarlady
New Member
yes i am in the uk .yes applied for visa before i started to feel the way i do now ,and like i said above i came back from tunisia at least one week befor he got his answer to visa ,and i tell him then and he just kept saying that i am getting inpatient about visa not to worry ,but then he gets his visa and i feel the same ,i really dont know how to stop this as it not nice to let him come here and i not in love with him
Thats it now anyhow for 2 years....
The next bit will be when he needs FLR
Obviously you cannot control your feelings and life is not binary.... but he has now just got a visa to the UK where you are legally responsible for supporting him.
My first question would be have you just gone off him and he is a decent guy... or is he a nasty person.
If its the former you may think how cruel it would be for you to just cut him off when he has arranged to change his life and ask him does he want to stay in the UK > be friends after.....but will probably be kicked out after 2 years unless he meets another person during his time.
He may be pragmatic/reasonable and say hey I am upset but at least I get to work for a couple of years.... (not a very likely scenario)
If its the latter then you need to get advice right away as you may be liable for some bills and costs if he needs to be deported etc
If you just dump him in the UK and you have shown that you will look after him on you 18,600+ income I think the government are logically going to be after you for some cash as he may do it he gets himself a lawyer here.
No easy way out of this mess if you have loads of money he may come to the UK and divorce you here and get some money also as why not you have possibly maintained him in a certain lifestyle.
My Advice...
Get a solicitor right away and start proceedings and do not have him over and staying in your house.
I am not a solicitor but it may be reasonable for him to be housed in the UK at your expense should he come.... investigate this
Put yourself in his shoes this is very embarrassing and the high of coming to live in the UK only to be dumped like a puppy after christmas. Do not put yourself in harms way.
Your doing a very cruel thing but you have to do it.
The next bit will be when he needs FLR
Obviously you cannot control your feelings and life is not binary.... but he has now just got a visa to the UK where you are legally responsible for supporting him.
My first question would be have you just gone off him and he is a decent guy... or is he a nasty person.
If its the former you may think how cruel it would be for you to just cut him off when he has arranged to change his life and ask him does he want to stay in the UK > be friends after.....but will probably be kicked out after 2 years unless he meets another person during his time.
He may be pragmatic/reasonable and say hey I am upset but at least I get to work for a couple of years.... (not a very likely scenario)
If its the latter then you need to get advice right away as you may be liable for some bills and costs if he needs to be deported etc
If you just dump him in the UK and you have shown that you will look after him on you 18,600+ income I think the government are logically going to be after you for some cash as he may do it he gets himself a lawyer here.
No easy way out of this mess if you have loads of money he may come to the UK and divorce you here and get some money also as why not you have possibly maintained him in a certain lifestyle.
My Advice...
Get a solicitor right away and start proceedings and do not have him over and staying in your house.
I am not a solicitor but it may be reasonable for him to be housed in the UK at your expense should he come.... investigate this
Put yourself in his shoes this is very embarrassing and the high of coming to live in the UK only to be dumped like a puppy after christmas. Do not put yourself in harms way.
Your doing a very cruel thing but you have to do it.
Last edited:
DARK ANGEL
Well-Known Member
Poor bugger if he is a nice guy...
Everyone I am moving to the UK !
errr now I am not
Reminds me of someones friend who was married in bizerte.
Got all the way to the wedding night and he is getting ready for some bonking and she starts crying and turns out she does not want to leave home and move to France and felt pressured by the momentum.
Cheers love could have saved me the wedding costs!
In either scenario its horrendous at the time but everyones better with the right person who loves them longer term.
Everyone I am moving to the UK !
errr now I am not
Reminds me of someones friend who was married in bizerte.
Got all the way to the wedding night and he is getting ready for some bonking and she starts crying and turns out she does not want to leave home and move to France and felt pressured by the momentum.
Cheers love could have saved me the wedding costs!
In either scenario its horrendous at the time but everyones better with the right person who loves them longer term.
guitarlady
New Member
