Does anyone know how to deal with Love Rats/Players/Losers/Bezness boys

Jasmine

Well-Known Member
So, why should he take you for granted? If he wants you, he should fight for you too, right?

Good Luck and don't feel guilty.

xxx

Patrice....
thats right huni :)

makes me so :mad: when they try and use the lack of finances as an excuse not to communicate!!!
It can be done!!!!
xxx
 
K

Kassie

Guest
My "so called fella :)" is not rich neither but whenever he has money on his phone e txt me and in the evening he goes to publinet on msn too. He is not working now at full time because there aren't many jobs and he's at the university but whenever he finds something to do, even if it is only for 4 days or a week, he goes for it. Besides, when he can't call me, he rings me once for "Im going online" if it it in the evening or "I miss you" during the day, twice to ask me to call him back if I can. We keep in touch, from both sides.

So, why should he take you for granted? If he wants you, he should fight for you too, right?

Good Luck and don't feel guilty.

xxx
Patrice....my thoughts too.

xxx
 

Patrice

Banned
Jas and Kassie

You sure remember all my doubts in the beginning, and they were (still are, some...) here for so long, disturbing my yet little mental sanity. But the fact that he makes all efforts (all I don't know but he makes some/much efforts) to contact me, with his own money (not mine ;) ) makes me believe that maybe he is not a typical rat from an animation team. Of course that is one among many other attitudes he has been showing to me, even when I told him I don't want to get married.

So, Dasha, loving is sharing and when we share, we mean "what goes around, comes around".

And remember that you feel differently because you're emotionally involved which does not let you see things is the right perspective. I'm not saying he's not good for you or so. I'm just saying that he should fight for you and never take you for granted. And believe me, if he feels, and I'm quite sure he already does, that you are afraid to loose him... hun, say goodbye to your sanity and to your independence and freedom. You will be his own property and you should do whatever he wants you to or else "you loose him".

xxx (sorry for being so cold)
 

Jasmine

Well-Known Member
Ive said this to someone privately, but i think it could be valuable here.

DONT be someone's doormat, you are both equals in life, regardless of where the other person comes from. You deserve respect, and if someone cannot respect you enough to open themselves up to contributing to some simple communication what does that hold for the future? If they cannot be bothered now, they wont in the future.

Constant chasing, comes across as needy, clingy and slightly desperate....and SOME of these men like that in women, especially as its part of their little game plan, to get them weak and obedient......Purely MY opinion.....
xxxx
 
K

Kassie

Guest
Ive said this to someone privately, but i think it could be valuable here.

DONT be someone's doormat, you are both equals in life, regardless of where the other person comes from. You deserve respect, and if someone cannot respect you enough to open themselves up to contributing to some simple communication what does that hold for the future? If they cannot be bothered now, they wont in the future.

Constant chasing, comes across as needy, clingy and slightly desperate....and SOME of these men like that in women, especially as its part of their little game plan, to get them weak and obedient......Purely MY opinion.....
xxxx
I agree! :)


xxxx
 

caley

New Member
Hi hun

I think that for a start, you should tell everyone else to mind their own business (not people on here!!!....i mean the people in ur life who are telling you its not a real relationship).......that does my head in!! Just because there is some distance, if he lived next door it would be real wouldnt it!....I can think of loads of couples i know who live close/with eachother and their relationship is STILL a load of cr*p!!

Anyhooo......that said......you both need to make an effort, otherwise as the others said, there will be an imbalance....and when the balance is all out of whack....then comes the resentment from one side.....or both.....and then it all gets horrible. To be honest, you shouldnt have to tell him all the time 'do this, do that'.....'call me, write to me, text me' he should see that it upsets you when he doesnt communicate and change immediately......if he doesnt.....then this is a sign that he is complacent in ur relationship, or getting that way!

I know its hard, but be strong....say to yourself.....'im not going to call/text him until he contacts me'......and dont then think 'but what if he doesnt, what if he has no money, what if he is busy, or something happens' coz thats a classic way to bugger this up............its not hard to put a couple of dinar on his phone and send one text, or even go online for five mins and email or text.......or even prank you for gods sake......beleieve me, if u wait for him to get intouch, it will make you feel better because you will see for yourself that he still wants you and wants to speak with you and it might quiet a few of ur doubts/anxieties!

If he doesnt contact within a couple of days, 3 maximum (coz u usually speak everyday i take it) then id say that somethings not right.......and maybe then you should think about whats going on. That said, some people are not big communicators, my ex boyfriend was english but he lived in york and i lived in southampton, so we were quite far away and we only saw eachother a couple of times a month and i used to get so angry with him for not texting, calling......but then i remember chatting with him best mate and his mum once and they both said.....god!! you actually get texted/called back eventually tho.......we dont even get that.........and i thought 'ahhhh....im getting all manic for nothing here, he's just not a phone/text person' and once id got that into my head, i was better. I remember once we went away for the weekend and he didnt even take his phone WITH him....i was like 'what!?' and he said 'oh right...naaa...well we dont need it do we, doesnt matter' lol.

But yeah, dont assume that he's the same as you with regards contact, but at the same time, i think theres a line and then its just plain lazy and uncaring!! hope yer ok hun xxx
 

Cheryl

Well-Known Member
Ive said this to someone privately, but i think it could be valuable here.

DONT be someone's doormat, you are both equals in life, regardless of where the other person comes from. You deserve respect, and if someone cannot respect you enough to open themselves up to contributing to some simple communication what does that hold for the future? If they cannot be bothered now, they wont in the future.

Constant chasing, comes across as needy, clingy and slightly desperate....and SOME of these men like that in women, especially as its part of their little game plan, to get them weak and obedient......Purely MY opinion.....
xxxx

Nicely said Jasmine

xxx
 

selz

New Member
And remember that you feel differently because you're emotionally involved which does not let you see things is the right perspective. I'm not saying he's not good for you or so. I'm just saying that he should fight for you and never take you for granted. And believe me, if he feels, and I'm quite sure he already does, that you are afraid to loose him... hun, say goodbye to your sanity and to your independence and freedom. You will be his own property and you should do whatever he wants you to or else "you loose him".
)

Very wise words there i wud say!!!!!
 

woudlg

New Member
They share everything out there too, so it wouldn't be unusual for a man to borrow his friend's phone to send a text etc. - where there's a will there's a way....
 
Another Roland!!

I don't know if this story has already been mentioned in the forum or whether I'm just a bit behind the times as always......I've just been reading Take a Break from 18th September and there's an article about a poor lady that was treated really badly by a Tunisian guy from PEK. Seeing as he's named and shamed in a national magazine, I'm sure there wont be a problem in me naming him on here. He worked in a shop in PEK and is called Mejdi. Apparently he took £40k off her. Anyone else heard about this? I'm shocked for the lady but also he looks quite familiar in the pictures so I'm not sure if he's still in PEK...if so, watch out, Roland's about!!
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
Hi, yep there was a whole thread about it called Take a break I think, got a bit silly by one of the members on here.
 
Cheers hun, I'm now up to date! I've also seen a different side to it after reading the posts. See what you mean about it getting a bit silly...there's always one! It's usually the one post I miss out on that's the most exciting!
 

selz

New Member
Cheers hun, I'm now up to date! I've also seen a different side to it after reading the posts. See what you mean about it getting a bit silly...there's always one! It's usually the one post I miss out on that's the most exciting!
If u search it hone it will take u 2 the thread but a lot of it has bin deleted now...
 

taylor

New Member
Is he using me??? advice please

Hi guy's,im new to the forum and could really do with some advice please.....i came back from a 2 week holiday in tunisia 3 weeks ago....while there i met a guy who worked at our hotel.
I have had daily contact with him since via msn and texts etc...
Im 29 and he is 25,he really seemed genuine to me and is always asking when im going back to "be with him".

I told him i would try and get over in january,but this doesnt seem good enough,he keeps on telling me november...he said when i go back i need to rent an apartment because hotels are very strict about letting tunisian guys in....which all sounded fine to me until he said that he would find me an apartment and i should send the money over in advance......the alarm bells are well and truely ringing.

He hasnt told me he loves me or asked me to marry him or anything like that yet but im just really worried that this guy is trying to screw me over.
Any advice would be very welcome,thanks.
 
K

Kassie

Guest
Hi and welcome ....yes I think he is !

xxxx
 

taylor

New Member
Hi :)
Yes im doubting him more by the second....he is so convincing tho,he has even introduced me to most of him family via webcam and microphone...hmmm well if he wants to play me, im ready to play right back :D
 

mand3366

New Member
Hi Taylor,

Sorry to say this but does sound like he is trying to take advantage.
When I was first dating my husband a lot of his friends were using this scam on their so called girl-friends. Will probarbly tell you it costs something like £450 per week, when in actual fact it is closer to £100. So a nice little earner straight in his pocket!!
I dont know why anyone says it is a problem to stay in a hotel with their tunisian partner. Before we were married we stayed in countless hotels in Monastir, Sousse, Tunis, Sfax etc and never encountered any problems whatsoever.
Listen to your intuition, women are rarely wrong!!

Take care,
M x
 

Cathibou

New Member
Hi Taylor,


I dont know why anyone says it is a problem to stay in a hotel with their tunisian partner. Before we were married we stayed in countless hotels in Monastir, Sousse, Tunis, Sfax etc and never encountered any problems whatsoever.
Listen to your intuition, women are rarely wrong!!

Take care,
M x
People say it is a problem to stay in hotels with their Tunisian partners because they have found it so, there are many threads on this site if you read back where people have had problems not only in hotels but in apartments also.
C x
 

suverny71

Active Member
Taylor

Firstly welcome to the forum.
Secondly do not send any money!!!

Like others have said its not normally a problem to stay in a hotel with a Tunisian man, I did it before marriage like many others have done on here too.

During the winter months jobs are limited for them and it sounds like he's trying to get some money out of you, we may all be wrong but be very cautious.

Hotels at this time of year are inexpensive check them out on the internet for yourself, depending on where you are staying, Hammamet, Sousse etc you will get a good deal.......thats if you are going to go back.... please don't let anyone play you. I have friends who have lost money with Tunisian men and its heartbreaking.
I sam not saying they are all the same as many of us are married to Tunisians and have not come across this problem.

Good Luck x x:D
 
Top