Does anyone know how to deal with Love Rats/Players/Losers/Bezness boys

Sana

New Member
www.tunisia.com

Hi Taylor
welcome to the forum , u can not judge a person's behavour from the first meeting , u have to live a while with him to know him more , so u can't say that he is an abusive , maybe he liked u and really wants to marry u , why not? so u should be optimistic and cautious at the same time . listen to your heart and don't loose your happiness. in addition , most hotels in tunisia are strict and don't let a non- married couple to get in, so he is right and not cheating u.
i hope u will be happy with him.:)
 

taylor

New Member
Hi Taylor,

Sorry to say this but does sound like he is trying to take advantage.
When I was first dating my husband a lot of his friends were using this scam on their so called girl-friends. Will probarbly tell you it costs something like £450 per week, when in actual fact it is closer to £100. So a nice little earner straight in his pocket!!
I dont know why anyone says it is a problem to stay in a hotel with their tunisian partner. Before we were married we stayed in countless hotels in Monastir, Sousse, Tunis, Sfax etc and never encountered any problems whatsoever.
Listen to your intuition, women are rarely wrong!!

Take care,
M x
hi guys,thanks for the warm welcome,im pleased i came across this site :D
He told me an apartment would cost me around £150 per week...he also knows i have 3 children and am going through a divorce right now....dont own my house and have not much money.....
He told me that he doesnt care that i am poor...lol,but then asks me to send him the money to pay for the apartment....but i have also come across a great deal that offers flights and hotel for £200.
I will mention this to him and see his reaction...what do you think?

Taylor x
 

Jen

New Member
Sana,

Sorry but you don't know if you want to marry someone after 2 weeks. I'm sure nobody would enter into a decision like that without giving it a good deal of thought!!!

And I wouldn't trust him. Atleast be on your guard, you can never really tell somebody's intentions. Not even in this country!
 

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
lol true but Sanas old school ie.

Guy sees you walk down the street and thinks she is nice.

You then go to see your brother/dad and tells them he wants to marry you.

You then get permission have a party

fun and then break up LOL
 

Jen

New Member
^^ no way. What jokes!!!

Glad things aren't like that here, I'm thinking of the boyfriends I've had, my Dad would have said no to every single one of them if they asked to marry me haha :D
 

arabchique

New Member
hi guys,thanks for the warm welcome,im pleased i came across this site :D
He told me an apartment would cost me around £150 per week...he also knows i have 3 children and am going through a divorce right now....dont own my house and have not much money.....
He told me that he doesnt care that i am poor...lol,but then asks me to send him the money to pay for the apartment....but i have also come across a great deal that offers flights and hotel for £200.
I will mention this to him and see his reaction...what do you think?

Taylor x
I would go for the hotel and flights deal, but that's my personal opinion ...

Welcome to the site Taylor ... :D xx
 

arabchique

New Member
lol true but Sanas old school ie.

Guy sees you walk down the street and thinks she is nice.

You then go to see your brother/dad and tells them he wants to marry you.

You then get permission have a party

fun and then break up LOL
Love it, Kris ... finding out that it is soooo true tho ... lol

^^ no way. What jokes!!!

Glad things aren't like that here, I'm thinking of the boyfriends I've had, my Dad would have said no to every single one of them if they asked to marry me haha :D

I hear ya, Jen ... no-one is ever good enough for Daddy's little girl ... ;)
 

selz

New Member
People say it is a problem to stay in hotels with their Tunisian partners because they have found it so, there are many threads on this site if you read back where people have had problems not only in hotels but in apartments also.
C x
Yes it can b a problem in most of the hotels now, ive had friends goin out booked in2 hotels expectin their fellas 2 come bk with them & they have not been allowed in...

Jas has also had this problem some nites with even allowing her fella in2 the hotel bar jus 4 drinks....:(
 

selz

New Member
Hi & welcome 2 the forum Taylor....

Just dont sent the money, go with the hotel deal & go from there at the end of the day if he likes u 4 u he will spend quality time with u & get 2 know u b4 even wantin u 2 go there & get an appartment.
If u think things seem 2b goin ok there is nothin stopping u then goin bk again & then doin the app....in most cases tho the money is not required up front (whille it wasnt wen my fella bkd ours)
 

fay

Active Member
Jen

As every one says, be careful but you need to spend time with him to trust him. I recently came back from staying with my boyfriend, I was booked in to a hotel but we rented an apartment for a few nights at 40 tnd per night, I paid this straight to the landlord- I have also booked a hotel for both of us in January at 100 pounds for a week so not expensive at this time of year and no problem with us being in a hotel together. So it really is not a lot of money. Don't get caught out by sending money to him- my friend sent her bf money as he said he needed to pay the army- he bought a washing machine!! once you start some of them will expect it all the time ( not all of them I know) I do not send my bf any money and when there with him he pays for lots of things for us - in fact I rarely put my hand in my pocket.

Enjoy your time with him, get to know him, listen to his answers- and yeah to test him a bit- we wold do the same here, then you will know if you can trust him.

Good luck- be happy though- don't live your life with regrets xxx
 

taylor

New Member
thank you selz :)...i just text him to tell him i needed to talk with him tonight...i dont think i could live with this doubt for long,so i'm gonna be totally honest with and tell him just how i feel and what my thoughts are.
I dont know how he will react but it will be interesting to see if he will still want to be "friends" afterwards.
There is no way im gonna be another mans fool....been there...getting divorced :D
 

Rainbow Brite

New Member
Hi Taylor,

Welcome to the forum, hope you find all the threads very helpful I know I did!
Its my experience that the ones asking for money for any reason should be avoided.
You should never ask someone you've known such a short time to be ok with sending over cash, it's just not how it works in the real world. I would go with what the others say about the hotel, if he doesn't go for that I'd run a mile. I had a tunisian guy looking for money for a "holiday visa" he led me to believe he'd be able to get with my help. I then realised through the guys here, that he never would have got one. I shudder to think what kinda lives european women are providing for some of these con artists. Good luck and I hope he goes for the hotel idea and proves your doubts wrong! xxx
 

feefad

Well-Known Member
taylor i would also go for a hotel and flight deal. You can get to know him without having these worries and if he doesnt go for it then any doubts may be confirmed.
 

Jen

New Member
Also, I think a big thing we're all forgetting here is your children... You need to put them first whatever you decide to do!!! Good luck making the right decision!
 

catwoman1

Active Member
I am going over on 31st December, he wants me to stay with his mum but I prefer to get an apartment! I have found one for £130 for 10 nights so think that this is a good price, and in the area I like Hammam Sousse. I would never send money over an dhe would never ask!
 

caley

New Member
Hi hun

welcome!!

What the others have said, dont send any cash. No need whatsoever....and they KNOW this!! Jesus, most apartments you can pay for same day, or when you get there.....as long as its cash.....there is no need for any kind of full payment upfront and usually no need for a deposit. My bf has been in a number of apartments before found one he liked....and he never had to give anything upfront to any of the landlords, theres no one months rent in advance like over here!! lol.

Secondly, be very careful. He is giving me some negative vibes.....talking of money and telling you that january is too long.....NOT GOOD!! he should understand that you have children and you cannot just up and go because he is charming you with sweet talk! I dont want to put a downer on anything hun, but im just saying be careful.

A lot of people on this forum have lovely relationships, but alot of people have had their hearts broken.......so keep your wits about you.

When i met my bf, i was all a flutter, as you are wen uve had a little romance, got home......was so happy, he text me and i called him.....but then....i came on here and i read stories and listened to peoples problems etc.....and i wised up a bit, i put my 'little miss careful' hat back on and i took things well slow, i didnt call or text much, i didnt give him definite dates of wen i was coming back, i told him i didnt have much money, didnt want to live in england all my life etc etc.....and i thought, if he cools off, then i know dont i......lucky for me, he didnt, he doesnt care about all that.....never did......and now almost one year on and ive been back 4 times and my parents have met him and love him and so do i, ive never been happier in my life.....but you do need to take things very slowly.....dont let him lie to you, dont let him tell you things like 'there are problems staying in hotels' because they really arnt......if u want to stay in the poshest, fancyist one then maybe, but believe me, in the tourist areas....there are lots of places you can stay....and most hotels dont give 2 shakes whose staying together as long as someones paying.......

I have spent a lot of time with my bf's best mates and i have almost been let into their world........his 2 best mates are bad boys when it comes to women.....here are a few things to look out for:

1) Be careful if he tries to tell you he has a sick/elderly relative that needs money
2) Be careful if he talks about marriage, or visas, or coming to england to live one day.....(i mean within the first month or so.....this shouldnt be on his mind really....if he goes on and on about it, then ditch him)
3) Dont let him tell you that he is the 'good' boy and all the others are bad.....
4) Dont let him tell you he has any kind of problem with phone, either, you cant call him at certain times, or he cant answer at certain times, or he doesnt have a phone (THEY ALL HAVE PHONES!!)
5) Always make sure the number he calls/texts you on, is the same, sometimes they have a number of different phones to call different women.
6) If he tells you he has told his family about you, ask him what they think about a non muslim and a muslim having a relationship before marriage.....ask him if his religion allows this? His answers to these questions will be important because for money, some tunisians will stick allah 'pbh' on the old backburner....my bf told me from the start that his god comes first in his life and he will always do what the quaran detail, hence, im not allowed to live with him, sleep in the same room at his families house, kiss him a lot in the street, especially infront of elder men/women.
7) Watch him carefully, ask him what does he love most about tunisia, what does he want from life, and dont let him fob you off with 'i want only to be with you' or 'i want marriage you'....because.....if he wants to be with you truly, he will want to get to know you, he will listen to all you say and he will remember things you tell him and he will share his dreams and thoughts also.....he will also be interested in ur life, ur children and he will show concern.

These are just a few little things.

I do wish you all the luck and love in the world though!! xx :)
 

selz

New Member
thank you selz :)...i just text him to tell him i needed to talk with him tonight...i dont think i could live with this doubt for long,so i'm gonna be totally honest with and tell him just how i feel and what my thoughts are.
I dont know how he will react but it will be interesting to see if he will still want to be "friends" afterwards.
There is no way im gonna be another mans fool....been there...getting divorced :D
Glad 2 hear it honey!!!
Let us know how u get on..
xx
 

selz

New Member
Caley.....gud points there hone....even tho it's an essay!!!! LOL
 
K

Kassie

Guest
Caley....always so intrigued by what you say! ;) You sound like a very wise lady .....and I thought I was one :D...keep it coming :)

xxxx
 

Scoobydoo

Well-Known Member
Agree with a lot of what you are saying Caley....i am interested though, your bf says he will follow what the Quran says first and foremost....does that mean he doesnt drink or has had *** before marriage!!??
LIke the majority, he seemingly is picking a chosing the bits that suit him!
 
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