Getting Married In tunisia

toonssia

New Member
Hi Nizar!
Has she envisaged to change her passport back to her maiden name (kids wont know about it) then you'll get married inchAllah and you wont have to worry about this issue?
That was just a suggestion only trying to be helpfull!
All the besy inchAllah Mabrouk
 

Nizar.M

Member
thanks for all the good replies and i have some message for jukcoder look guy i know the UKResident.com forum and believe me people can find answers and help here moore than UKResident.com and i idid ask many questions there and alwaysthe answers was so short and not enought and plz stop whriting like that if u can help thank u if u cant u have just to shut up and go away this forum is so good forum and we dont need some unhelpfull guy like u sorry to say this to u but plz stop akting like u know everythings coz whatever u know there is somepeople know more than. Thanks
 

kellyc

Active Member
Hi

Hi Nizar,

I agree with you totally, when I was looking for visa advice I found that forum UK resident or whatever it is to be useless, and the answers not being considerate.

Jukcoder, though you have a very closed mind about mixed marriages so it seems very your replies - this has totally gone way past what Nizar was asking. Never judge a book by it's cover, and from what I am understanding Jukcoder you dont actually have your own experience of marrying an English woman do you? you cant just base your opinions on others situations.

Good luck Nizar x
 

Nizar.M

Member
jukcoder=======> like u know we have some proverb here that said the hand fingers not like each others and u understand well what i mean about that.

the bads and the goods is in every place and like some tunisian get treated bad but there is many womans get treated bad from tunisians husbands and there is many tunisians that did play with alot of british womans feelings and when they will got what they wants (papers or IRL) then bye bye what u think about that ?.
so what iwant to say to u that dont whrite this word (grannies) nomore coz iwont accept this. and like everybody know england is not the heaven but its not the hell in the same time. wahtever u think and whatever u heared about not all the cases is like that and there is alot of couples that they are happy with each others like me i knew my girlfriend since 2 years and believe me iwill never find some woman like her we understand each other so so well and we even know what we r thinking about when r quite and i she makes me so happy and we r always looking for the best of us.......
 

beckijj

Active Member
arrrr nizar that is so nice u have just put a massive smile on my face. good luck with everything you are doing.
 

Nizar.M

Member
hi guy this is nizar granny here ,just wanted to say to ur happy to come to the uk to further ur studies and what u say about the uk and the women , so if u dont like the uk go back to tunisa and find a local woman so i and i will marry my boyfriend
and iam doing this for all the grannies of younger men
 

Lizj

New Member
Firstly Nizar, lots of women keep their married name until they re-marry, the visa form allows for this information to be included so you should have no worries. And your girlfriend sounds like a lucky woman.

Secondly Jukcoder, at what age do you have to be to qualify as a 'granny'?
If UK is so awful then please feel free to return to the land of milk and honey and god help any women who marries someone so bigoted (whatever nationality). Your comments have obviously annoyed quite alot of people, I would suggest you could apologize, thats if you can tear yourself away from the important studies you are doing courtesy of the UK.
 

jukcoder

Member
dear Lizj,


Apologise for ?


Land of milk and honey ! I heard this before from many anti-immigration idiots in this country.


My main point in few words that many Tunisians act cheap to come the UK: most Pakistanis and Indians are far poorer than the poorest misquine in Tunisa, yet few of them get married to women twice their age to land in the UK .

Having said that I DID NOT refer to Nizar and his fiance to whom i do apologise . And if you didn't like what said try to convice me otherwise - not use some BNP language.

Besides you and your dear UK - you are doing me no favour, my dear ! I pay for anything I get .

Did you miss the word spongers as well?
 

woudlg

New Member
Good luck with your application Nizar - your fiancee is indeed a lucky lady!!!

Jukcoder, 'land of milk and honey' is a figurative reference (of biblical origin) to a place of abundance - Liz was surely only referring to your obvious preference of the offerings of your home country (weather, women etc.)which is in sharp contrast with your denigration of the UK. As far as I can see, the only post that contains material that could be perceived as racist is your own. You strike me as an intelligent individual, so surely you are not as narrow-minded as to think that all UK females are as desperate and calculating as you imply? To some extent, I agree with your comments that Tunisian men should give due consideration to moving to the UK, it is not easy to arrive in an alien environment without any means of supporting yourself and being almost completely reliant upon your wife, and, in my opinion, there are preconceptions about life in the UK that are soon quashed when reality unfolds. We are all aware that there are some men (Tunisian or otherwise) that marry for reasons other than love and indeed 'prey' on tourists who,in their opinion, seem to be an 'easy catch' - though, again, this is not generalisable to the male race. In many ways, some of your 'brethren' would be wise to heed some of your advice, though your take on it is somewhat different to mine. To lay the blame for failed relationships and unhappiness at the foot of UK women is a completely blinkered (and undoubtedly biased) opinion. Any man who marries strategically (for UK citizenship, financial reasons etc.) is surely sealing his own unhappy fate - neither is this the basis for a long and successful marriage.

I am happily married to a Tunisian man myself and have spent much time in cafe's etc. socialising with men who view marriage as their 'exit' from a country which they perceive as offering few prospects for them - even marriage to a Tunisian woman is often seen to be out of their reach as their perception is that they would need to 'prove' their worth with material possessions and, ultimately, money (though I emphasise that this is not my opinion). So, it would seem that young men of marriageable age in Tunisia find themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place, and may make unwise choices based on their perception of a 'better life'.

I wish you luck in your studies and upon your return to Tunisia - meantime, I hope that you will consider tempering some of your views of women in the UK, which would be a greater learning outcome than anything you will ever study at University. Only the most open-minded people are truly wise.
 

Bigbrother

New Member
It seems that you’ve been away from your country too long Jukcoder, your now acquired attitude and terminology doesn’t seem very Tunisian to me. BNP language! What you on about? No need to answer. Seems like the chip on your shoulder is taking a life of its own and that you had rather embellished expectations when you got here. But we know expectations and reality are like brother and sister, not identical twins! A lot of us are paying for what we get. Don’t know what kind of visa you’ve managed to acquire, but on all the settlement visa’s its say no recourse of benefits, in other words they can’t claim. My Tunisian husband would never think of claiming, even after he gets his indefinite leave to remain or a passport which he isn’t bothered about. He found work the same day when he made enquiries and hasn’t stopped working ever since! He didn’t have some ulterior motive to get here as he talks about the subject of karma all the time and Allah, so anyone trying to con a woman are ultimately hurting themselves in the long run. I think a fellow Tunisian not supporting a brother is out of order - you know what its like here. Isman demonstrated how its possible to be successful when you leave Tunisia – through hard work and a personable personality. Its down to the individuals attitude. Anyway Nizar is getting unconditional help from this site and we will continue to support you. I have PM Nizar in the past and only wish him, his wife to be and children the best of luck. Judcoder all the best for you.
 

Lizj

New Member
Woudlg and Bigbrother, Thanks for your comments, as for Jukcoder I'm not even going to bother to respond to those uncalled for and totally unfounded comments!! This is not what this forum is about, it is indeed about passing on help and advice between us which is what Nizar was asking for.
I'm off to phone my Tunisian boyfriend of 2 yrs, he may be missing his granny!!!!!!!
 

woudlg

New Member
Ha! That made me smile LizJ!!

Myself, I'm a soon-to-be mum so won't qualify as a granny for many years yet!!!!
 

Lizj

New Member
I haven't got any kids yet so not really in the granny stakes, but am a wee bit older than my man, but who cares, we love each other and thats all that counts. Good luck with the baby, whens he or she due, before or after father christmas??
 

issam

Banned
juck coder or whatever you call your self,half of the film stars are married to women older than them like banderas and with love there is no age condition,at least these men they fell in love with women what about you i assume you are men, have you got a boyfreind?
 

woudlg

New Member
I haven't got any kids yet so not really in the granny stakes, but am a wee bit older than my man, but who cares, we love each other and thats all that counts. Good luck with the baby, whens he or she due, before or after father christmas??

Baby is due next June/July so will miss father christmas this year!!! I'm 6 years older than hubby, but we have the same mental age!!! Apparently it is viewed as a good thing for a man to marry a woman older than himself in Islam - prophet Mohammad's (pbuh) wife Khadijah was 15 years older than him unless I'm mistaken - so I don't quite understand jukcoder's argument if he is indeed a Muslim himself. Would he be as offensive about the Prophet's choice of wife?!!!!
 

jacqui0414

Well-Known Member
good luck with all the baby things wouldlg :)

i am also older than my husband by 4 years but i am in no way a granny im only 28 years old lol, there is no problem with age as long a you are in love for real
 

Bigbrother

New Member
Jukcoder

Going back to some of your comments, I agree with some of them, when you mention a local wife who would understand you, I do get your point as there are times when both me and my husband say "you don't understand …" Having said that why a lot of divorces happen in all countries is because of the same comment. I would never expect my husband to understand everything about me, we haven't been married that long, and there are more things to come with experience. We all grow in different directions and we sometimes don't understand why we say and do things to each other. So the 'don't understand" is generic. I understand that life would be better sometimes if you're both from the same culture. With regards to your comment about Pakistanis and Indian, they come from a culture where their marriages are organised and planned by their families and some friends - may be some Tunisian families do that, I'm not sure. With these two cultures that I mentioned everything is taken into consideration; the background, education, career prospects, finances, class of family on both sides and I guess age, they don't just fall into relationships. Sometimes the two people in question never really have a proper relationship beforehand. And from what I see it appears to work. Love isn't the number one priority in these types of relationships - that comes after in some cases.

I am older than my husband, that's the way it is. I get all kinds of comments from family, friends and people, who don't know me or us, and I just deal with it, it's no big deal. I'm young at heart and he has an old head on young shoulders, and sometimes it switches! I know of women who are much older than their partners and some even know when they marry that it will be "for a time". They aren't stupid or gullible, they are aware of their particular situation and will endeavour to make it last as long as possible for their situation. Same age marriages don't have any guarantee of lasting either. Let's not forget very young women who are with very older Tunisian men, is that more acceptable? I think it is!

I wouldn't describe my husband as skilled or businessman category, however he has done well. He started off on a menial job, but went onto better and better jobs. He's secured jobs through a friend of a friend; it's who you know sometimes. He never turns down work and recently has done some construction work, and anyone who knows any builders will know that they earn bucks, and compare that to a wage in Tunisia, we're talking a lot. You have to start somewhere. If these friends of yours are working in menial work, they can make the choice to get themselves part time education. When my husband enrolled again in September for his ESOL course, he paid £17 for his course, that's because he has been married and living here for a one year. If he wasn't married and living here for a year he would be classified as a foreign student and would have to pay thousands (not sure if that's for a full time course, I didn't check). So, there are ways and means of improving one's opportunities here, through hard work and education.

Judcoder, you know the score, why don't you let your friends know what life is really like and not paint a negative picture of the women/wifes here - it's not that bad. As long as they have a good wife and support then they can make it.

With regards to the BNP comment I can only think what you meant was that you or your friends may have experienced some prejudice - sorry if that has happened. It’s the times were are living in unfortunately! What you have to accept is that the husband/boyfriends now become a minority outside their country, something that wouldn't cross their minds in Tunisia. Is must be a shock to be the only Tunisian or North African in their new home. No one said it was going to be easy.

Nizar should be congratulated for the effort he is making, not many guys are able to do that for one reason or another - so congratulations and much success with your visa application.
 

toonssia

New Member
+1! you are so right on this one and Khadidja was his favorite thanks for mentioning it

I wish you All to be happy and satisfy with your life Should Allah keep you in good health.

Congratulation for baby WoudLg.
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
Jukcoder, At least there is a minimum wage in the UK and the law is geared around the employee not the employer. So you prefer the 'half a dinar' an hour that lots of workers receive in Tunisia? Slave labour or what?

It wasn't until the 1920's in Britain that people married for love. Before it was like Tunisia, contractual. And let's face it, many Tunisians become engaged to and marry foreigners, leave Tunisia for other parts of the world, divorce and then return to their Tunisian girlfirends & wives who knowingly accept this all in the name of money. This is well do***ented on the internet also.

As for the age differences - I don't think it should be an issue. Personality, outlook on life & similarity of attitudes are far more important – age is just a number after your name.

Mature women have a different attitude to life. Women over forty are often more beautiful and charming than they were in their twenties, and in better shape. They are more relaxed, more self assured, and, indeed, because everything is no longer a life-and-death issue, they are more fun. Women over forty can afford to live and let live because they have been around for a while, and they understand a few things. In fact, if you haven't approached forty yet, you have a lot to look forward to.

Physically, women over forty can be in better shape than they were half their age. ***ually, women become more desirable as they age, because they come into their ***ual peak in their thirties, and remain there for years, while men peak ***ually in their teens, and go downhill from there.

Forget the granny culture – have you seen Demi Moore etc. – it’s now called the Cougar Club!

I do feel sorry for the female tourists who really fall in love, believe everything they hear and are taken to the cleaners financially so what I would say is:

Broken hearts mend but empty bank accounts just cause even more grief.
Lose your heart but don't lose your money.
 

beckijj

Active Member
well im only 23 and i do hope that im not goin get taken 4 a ride all the time. all i can say is yes people who i have met r beautiful and i can understand why their men fall for them but i hope i can find the love for real at this age and become even more beautiful. im not saying im beautiful now and wil prob never say it about myself but to all the younger girls out their u can fall in love as wel it is not a case of age i do believe that yes sometimes it is but thats with everything, dont no if anyone on ere is watching emerdale but it does happen. but for the young girls on here with fellors in tunisia there is love out there for everyone, whether you old middle aged or youngish.

people nowadays go for personality not looks. so it does not matter about age.
 
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