Heartbroken too....

Misha

New Member
#41
Not at all....we were seperated 15months!.....was waiting to see what would "happen" .....how long does one wait? ( rhetorical) ;) x Yes...it is expensive...however, put that into the context of YOUR life! You decide....do you go on as you are ....or not? xxx
oh really, 15 months? That helps to know. When your husband walks out and says 'leave me alone, i want to start a new life' you kind of assume he will divorce you at the speed of light so that's why I didnt make the move myself back then (plus I didnt want a divorce so why should it be me who paid for it). He only works a mile from my home so you wouldn't think it would be this hard to find out if i am still married to him!
 

Mrs H

Active Member
#42
If u wait for the 2 year separation you can get a divorce quite cheap as long as no children are involved. Think it cost one of my friends £40 but that was a few years ago. If he is engaged and intending on marrying someone else just let him do it in Tunisia. He can't get married again til he's divorced so leave him to it. Sounds like you've had a lucky escape.
 

Misha

New Member
#43
If u wait for the 2 year separation you can get a divorce quite cheap as long as no children are involved. Think it cost one of my friends £40 but that was a few years ago. If he is engaged and intending on marrying someone else just let him do it in Tunisia. He can't get married again til he's divorced so leave him to it. Sounds like you've had a lucky escape.
i know what you mean, but i think it's about trying to salvage some dignity and having some vague say in my own divorce! I've had precious little dignity or respect in the past few years and part of me feeld I should make some sort of stand. we all know there is this false address loophole where a Tunisian man can obtain a divorce behind his wife's back and i am trying to establish if that has happened or is happening currently even though he lves in the UK. The fact that i have heard nothing in a year from a man who seemed hellbent on divorce is very odd.
 

Mrs H

Active Member
#44
i know what you mean, but i think it's about trying to salvage some dignity and having some vague say in my own divorce! I've had precious little dignity or respect in the past few years and part of me feeld I should make some sort of stand. we all know there is this false address loophole where a Tunisian man can obtain a divorce behind his wife's back and i am trying to establish if that has happened or is happening currently even though he lves in the UK. The fact that i have heard nothing in a year from a man who seemed hellbent on divorce is very odd.
That's because you are more than likely divorced already. Do you know if he has need home to Tunisia recently cos I presume they can't start divorce proceedings from here surely they would have to do the usual running around different departments getting different officials to put some stupid stamp on the back of some piece of paper before they can file for divorce. That's the tunisian way is it not
 

Misha

New Member
#45
That's because you are more than likely divorced already. Do you know if he has need home to Tunisia recently cos I presume they can't start divorce proceedings from here surely they would have to do the usual running around different departments getting different officials to put some stupid stamp on the back of some piece of paper before they can file for divorce. That's the tunisian way is it not
yes , judging from what i caught sight of on his facebook page he was there just a couple of weeks ago with his fiancee. I am not sure how many times he has been there since he left me though - could be one or five , who knows. I believe he is devious enough and has enough contempt for me to do it without me knowing. And that is what i am trying to find out.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#46
yes , judging from what i caught sight of on his facebook page he was there just a couple of weeks ago with his fiancee. I am not sure how many times he has been there since he left me though - could be one or five , who knows. I believe he is devious enough and has enough contempt for me to do it without me knowing. And that is what i am trying to find out.
Is there absolutely no one who you know over there who can go to the Belidaya and find out and get a copy of his BC?
 

Misha

New Member
#47
Is there absolutely no one who you know over there who can go to the Belidaya and find out and get a copy of his BC?
i wish there was. The only people i know in Tunisia are his parents and sisters and although i got on with them all ( via French mainly....) of course they will have taken his side, especially with how good a liar he is so will have spun them all sorts of crap about me.
 

Mrs H

Active Member
#48
I know this is wrong but why not play them at their own game. Get online and find a man from his own town. Sweet talk him for a few weeks. By then he will think you are ready to marry him and take him over here. Tell him u need to find out if u are divorced and get him to go get a copy of your ex's birth cert. They have no morals when it comes to using women from here so why should u.
 

lulabex

Active Member
#49
OK , i'll be honest - before i married my Tunisian husband, I looked at this site and felt smug because I was marrying one of the good ones...So this is my story. We married in early 2009, he came here a few month's later then got his ILR. As far as i knew we were happily married , he told me he loved me many times a day every day and couldn't keep his hands off me, so to speak. We laughed a lot and all my friends & family loved him. After about a year I found out he had been taking my bank card behind my back every weekend day and withdrawing over £100 each time . No wonder we were in debt as i was struggling to cover all the bills on my salary and his very meagre wages that were going into my account. I forgave him because i loved him and he seemed sorry. Through the next two years though, i found worse things : graphic texts in French from a Tunisian woman (after he returned from a holiday alone ) which made it very clear they had a relationship , even with him calling her 'my sexy angel' ,same as he was calling me.....Not only had he saved these texts in his 'my family ' folder , but he had used our landline to call her number! Again i forgave him. I then found several facebook interactions with women , him saying to one of them 'last night was amazing' and begging her to get in touch ( she didn't appear to...) , and one in particular that went on for weeks with him telling awful lies about me to try and get this girl into bed it seems. All through this he had been his usual attentive and loving self towards me , which i think was part of the shock when I found it all. Anyway , yet again i forgave him because he swore nothing physical had happened with these women and really wanted to stay married to me.... In Aug 2012 I found condoms in his wallet, needless to say we never used condoms. He told me he had no feeling for me ( yet had been all over me as usual up to that point) so i said we had to separate. Although he tried to cancel the separation twice, i felt we needed to in order for him to see if it was really me he wanted. Over the next 12 months, we 'dated' each other whilst living at different flats, during which he twice told me he wanted me back only to dump me within weeks. Third time, i took 4 months to agree to take him back after he had been wonderful all 4 of those months, only for him to move back in with me and then leave me a week later . Yes a week. I was beyond heartbroken, i still adored him somehow. After leaving me that last time, he cut all contact, didnt even check on how i was doing. then after 3months of ignoring me, i had two emails urgently asking for my birth certificate. when i asked why , he said to get a passport. I said no ( who would have said yes ????) and he sent me an email saying ' do me a favour and leave me alone, i want to move on and start a new life without you'. I have never heard from him since then, 13 months ago, and have just been told that on Facebook he is proudly displaying his pretty Lithuanian fiancee for all to see, holidaying 2-3 times a year whilst i cannot afford one holiday after the debt he left me with. I have no idea if we are divorced or not because he has not bothered to let me know if we are, and ignores my queries.
I have no idea why i am telling strangers this , i think maybe i need to get it all out because i dont like to burden my friends and family ( who are hundreds of miles away from me) with how utterly heartbroken i still am when everyone thinks i should be over it by now. I forgave him all of that stuff and yet he still left me and has erased me completely from his life, it's like i never existed for him and he has already asked another girl to marry him.. Ladies, just be very careful with who you marry because my husband fooled everyone in my life.
Hello,

First i would like to thank you so much for your courage to talk about your experience. I believe you are a very brave woman ! I read your story and i felt a mixture of feelings (sadness and anger). You might think you're alone in this but i'm sure you're not !! This happened to many girls.
I really hope you move on in your life and find happiness and true love somewhere else. You deserve the best !!! And like you said, ladies be so careful when you meet a guy who comes from a 3rd world country !
 

kassie

Well-Known Member
#50
oh really, 15 months? That helps to know. When your husband walks out and says 'leave me alone, i want to start a new life' you kind of assume he will divorce you at the speed of light so that's why I didnt make the move myself back then (plus I didnt want a divorce so why should it be me who paid for it). He only works a mile from my home so you wouldn't think it would be this hard to find out if i am still married to him!
As far as I understand....if you are seeking divorce "unreasonable behaviour" the costs would/should be down to "the other party"....Check it out! I won't say anymore on here. Like I said....initial consultation with a lawyer is a good way to start! x
 

Misha

New Member
#51
Hello,

First i would like to thank you so much for your courage to talk about your experience. I believe you are a very brave woman ! I read your story and i felt a mixture of feelings (sadness and anger). You might think you're alone in this but i'm sure you're not !! This happened to many girls.
I really hope you move on in your life and find happiness and true love somewhere else. You deserve the best !!! And like you said, ladies be so careful when you meet a guy who comes from a 3rd world country !
well, thank you , that is very kind of you.
 

Misha

New Member
#52
As far as I understand....if you are seeking divorce "unreasonable behaviour" the costs would/should be down to "the other party"....Check it out! I won't say anymore on here. Like I said....initial consultation with a lawyer is a good way to start! x
NEWS: I have now had a reply from him - a very cold impersonal one-sentence email telling me i will get the paperwork soon. So he filed months back without my knowledge or permission, as uncaring and selfish as ever I see...... I asked what grounds he used for the divorce so he said he just put that it didn't work out between us. Yes it didnt work out - because he was always cheating on me, but funny how he has not mentioned his repeated adultery and current adultery with the fiancee! He said I don't need to sign anything which seems odd because in the UK you both need to sign divorce papers.
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
#53
Sounds like he's divorced you there behind your back then Misha. The loophole route, perhaps?

Can he send you confirmation in writing for your records?
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#54
NEWS: I have now had a reply from him - a very cold impersonal one-sentence email telling me i will get the paperwork soon. So he filed months back without my knowledge or permission, as uncaring and selfish as ever I see...... I asked what grounds he used for the divorce so he said he just put that it didn't work out between us. Yes it didnt work out - because he was always cheating on me, but funny how he has not mentioned his repeated adultery and current adultery with the fiancee! He said I don't need to sign anything which seems odd because in the UK you both need to sign divorce papers.
Well you are supposed to sign the paperwork but it seems he's found the way round this, because they will try to contact you so many times, then if they get no response they grant him the divorce. Simple really for him to give them a false address!!
 

kassie

Well-Known Member
#55
NEWS: I have now had a reply from him - a very cold impersonal one-sentence email telling me i will get the paperwork soon. So he filed months back without my knowledge or permission, as uncaring and selfish as ever I see...... I asked what grounds he used for the divorce so he said he just put that it didn't work out between us. Yes it didnt work out - because he was always cheating on me, but funny how he has not mentioned his repeated adultery and current adultery with the fiancee! He said I don't need to sign anything which seems odd because in the UK you both need to sign divorce papers.
As I undertand it in UK law, you need to have been served the papers and the court must see that you have been given opportunity to respond? I really believe you need to get yourself a lawyer!
xx
 

neat

New Member
#56
Hi Misha So sorry to hear your sad story. I don't know if you still need help? but I am going over in Febuary 2015 and would be quite happy to get a copy of your ex's birth certificate for you.
 

neat

New Member
#57
Misha I have also been told that if you do not reply to the first letter sent they do actually send another 2. Then if still no reply the divorce will automatically be granted. You should also be sent a copy of the divorce papers.
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
#58
Misha I have also been told that if you do not reply to the first letter sent they do actually send another 2. Then if still no reply the divorce will automatically be granted. You should also be sent a copy of the divorce papers.
If a false address has been used then there's not much chance of receiving the divorce papers unfortunately.
 

neat

New Member
#59
So basically if a false address is used, obviously you will never know so the next step would be to go to Tunisia for a copy of their birth certificate.
Then where do you go for a copy of divorce papers?
 
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