HELP!!!!

[Rachel]

Hi all i really hope someone can advise ...

I divorced my ex husband on the 21st march this year in the uk and he is still here on a 2yr spouse visa expires in September. I think he is trying to change his visa to parent of a uk child as after nearly 1 year he has gotten his sister in tunisia to send a message asking if he can see our daughter. I know for the parent of a uk child visa he needs to have access to her and pay maintenance . I think this is what he is trying to achieve. Im reluctant in anyway to help him stay after all the crap he has put me thru mentally and physically inc domestic violence .... I have refused the visit which he has requested as i totally believe it is unfair on my daughter him walking in and out of his life as he has done many many times in her 4 years as and when he felt like it. She is confused at it is as he has never been in her life long enough to realise who he is. There is a prohibited steps order in place also .... Can anyone advise of anything i should be doing or not doing

 

[missmetal]

Hi Rachel,

Did you report the domestic violence? If so, I would attached those case file numbers and write a letter to immigration stating what your current situation is and that you are fearful for you and your childs safety. He should have left the UK anyway as he was no longer being sponsored by you, so u should inform the home office right away.

 

[Rachel]

I have already i formed the home office of the divorce and requested for my sponsorship to be removed from his visa with a long and detailed letter explaining everything at one point i even had a restraining order against him this was when he was here on his first 2 yr visa in 09 to 11 the ilr was never apoed for at that point as he left the country for 15 months after i thort things had been sorted out with the help of his family we applied again for another 2 yr visa to give it another go but that didnt work out either ... Caught him out "messing" with underage girls inviting them to our home whilst i was at work then Used the excuse they were lesbians so it is ok card ... But they were not ... Not like it made any difference they were underage. He does not pay maintenance neither am i pursuing him for it. He has already made threats to take her tunisia and i would never see her again hence the prohibited steps order. Im just worried sick as i want him as far away from me as possible

 

[Jane BM]

I have already i formed the home office of the divorce and requested for my sponsorship to be removed from his visa with a long and detailed letter explaining everything at one point i even had a restraining order against him this was when he was here on his first 2 yr visa in 09 to 11 the ilr was never apoed for at that point as he left the country for 15 months after i thort things had been sorted out with the help of his family we applied again for another 2 yr visa to give it another go but that didnt work out either ... Caught him out "messing" with underage girls inviting them to our home whilst i was at work then Used the excuse they were lesbians so it is ok card ... But they were not ... Not like it made any difference they were underage. He does not pay maintenance neither am i pursuing him for it. He has already made threats to take her tunisia and i would never see her again hence the prohibited steps order. Im just worried sick as i want him as far away from me as possible

Rachel go and see your MP, give him/her the full story, the details of the abuse, threats, the lot. Let them know what you think his intentions are and INSIST that they contact the UKVI on your behalf. Xx

 

[Trulymadlydeeply]

I'd go straight to the police Rachel get everything documented. Politely tell his sister that if he wants access he will have to do it through the courts and that way only. Even if he pursued that course of action he would only ever get supervised access at a contact centre. So don't worry that he would kidnap your daughter, you wouldn't even see him. You hand her to a staff member and same on collection. If he was lucky he may get an hour a week. Do you really think he will fight for that? You did well to give him so many chances, sorry to say he is vile and needs deporting ASAP..!! Tell the police you feel threatened and are worried for both of yours safety. He will get what he deserves, NOTHING!!!

 

[Essem]

I think you're right to be reluctant to help him - father or your child or not, he poses a real threat to you and to his daughter.

Sounds like he's clutching at straws to be able to stay in the UK and will try anything. Wants to be a dad and be in his daughter's life when it suits him - no way.

You've come a long way Rachel, now isn't the time for backward steps. If you let him into your life again in any capacity now, it's odds on that he'll make it more of a misery than before.

Sounds like he'll try anything to stay in the UK.

Why doesn't the Home Office act/respond quickly to things like this?

Xxx

 

[missmetal]

I think you're right to be reluctant to help him - father or your child or not, he poses a real threat to you and to his daughter.

Sounds like he's clutching at straws to be able to stay in the UK and will try anything. Wants to be a dad and be in his daughter's life when it suits him - no way.

You've come a long way Rachel, now isn't the time for backward steps. If you let him into your life again in any capacity now, it's odds on that he'll make it more of a misery than before.

Sounds like he'll try anything to stay in the UK.

Why doesn't the Home Office act/respond quickly to things like this?

Xxx

The HO spends so much time scrutinizing the application, which is good in my opinion, but you cant tell if they will be abusers and take up criminal activity once they are here. Its almost like they are punishing the women for getting married to them in the first place and making them approve the apps. Its now our problems....and the tax payers while they try other routes to stay or work for cash.

Very frustrating that they dont take action, this is the same issue for my friends ex hubby, he's not gonna leave until he has to but he's trying damn hard to get married again to another girl who is english but Pakistani, so she's muslim, he wont make that mistake again and go for an athiest. Her family disapprove because lets face it, he's got nothing to bring to the table, and he's already lied to this girl about when he broke up from his ex wife. The HO should be picking him up and sending him home, he's no longer legal!

 

[ROULLA]

I have already i formed the home office of the divorce and requested for my sponsorship to be removed from his visa with a long and detailed letter explaining everything at one point i even had a restraining order against him this was when he was here on his first 2 yr visa in 09 to 11 the ilr was never apoed for at that point as he left the country for 15 months after i thort things had been sorted out with the help of his family we applied again for another 2 yr visa to give it another go but that didnt work out either ... Caught him out "messing" with underage girls inviting them to our home whilst i was at work then Used the excuse they were lesbians so it is ok card ... But they were not ... Not like it made any difference they were underage. He does not pay maintenance neither am i pursuing him for it. He has already made threats to take her tunisia and i would never see her again hence the prohibited steps order. Im just worried sick as i want him as far away from me as possible

Hi Rachel, hope that you and your daughter are both well!

Rachel does your daughter go nursery ? I do hope that you have told them not to allow anyone to collect her unless it is you.
Did you know that your ex can obtain a Tunisian passport for your daughter, and its very easy to obtain especially if you know people that work there.

You said in your post that your ex was messing about with under age girls, that in itself makes me feel sick so god knows how you felt at the time as his wife.

1. Get an injunction out on him so that he is not allowed to come within so many miles and if he does then he will be arrested
2. Let the nursery know what is going on so that they are aware of the situation.
3. Were the police ever involved in any of these violent incidents?If so make sure that you go and get all these reported incidents on paper, dates, times and why the police were called 4. Get a letter from your doctor stating that this is making you feel unsafe and that you are getting depressed because of this situation.
5. Is the fathers name on the birth certificate ?
6 Make sure that you do not give him any recent passport sized photo's of your daughter as he will need these for a Tunisian passport, as for a birth certificate he can get one for a small fee.
7. Do you live in a council property ? If you are leaving in a council property ask your housing officer to move you and explain your situation.
8. Make sure that you change all contact details with your GP, you know they keep the telephone number of parents or guardians and you don't want them to contact him for anything.
9. Have you ever taken money from him for your daughter ?
10. Depending on the situation, the judge could arrange for supervised visitation so that your ex can see your daughter with someone in authority present.
11. Keep a diary and write down any date or times that you see him and write down anything that you feel is abusive or threatening.

Good luck

 

[Rachel]

He is going to try anything your right about that he has started studying at a local college ... possibly for an English language qualification as he has none at all what so ever. he is working in a pizza shop still for cash in hand payment 2 nights a week and ive told UKBA all of this right down to the days and times that he works.
when my divorce was going through the solicitor gave him an option to sign and return the divorce papers and an agreement for some kind of access to our daughter but he didn't .... even though she did say at first it would be indirect contact as she hardly knows her "dad" ... the other week she saw a photo of him and asked who he was!! ... says it all really doesn't it.
I told him to stay away from the house and if he come I would call the police and he is using that as a back stab as he is saying that because I said that that is why he didn't send her a birthday card or present .... royal mail springs to mind, he would not have had to come anywhere near the house... but still nothing !! ... he has only ever been at 1 of her Birthdays in 4 years.
ive completely cut myself off from him changed my phone numbers e.mail addresses even right down to what hours I work so he will never know when I am home or not.
Technically were still married .... in Tunisia! as the divorce was sought by me here.
This new woman that he is with is who he was messing around with behind my back just after he come back to the UK on his current visa ... I kicked him out he moved straight in with her......
He has probably spun her a few lies over the months I can assure you as she seems to be keeping him in the life style which he is accustom too ... house, personal taxi service as she drops him here there and anywhere, new clothes, shoes, she will most likely be paying for this college course he is doing as he has no recourse to public funds and his wage wont cover the fees for it..... personal cash machine springs to mind... everything I did at the beginning! then things only started going wrong when I started saying no!

between june 13 and now he has not asked to see her .... I don't even what him to have supervised access. there is a clause on my absolute of which im hoping if I have read it right ... means he has lost all parental responsibility ... im awaiting my solicitors clarification on that tho, I contacted her today.

I have told his sister today to stop passing messages from him to me as it is upsetting and distressing, should it continue I will delete her from my FB account as this is the only way they have other then post of contacting me. I don't want to delete his family after all it is not there fault about how the relationship turned out and I love his family very much but I need to draw the line somewhere.

 

[Rachel]

Hi Rachel, hope that you and your daughter are both well!

Rachel does your daughter go nursery ? I do hope that you have told them not to allow anyone to collect her unless it is you.
Did you know that your ex can obtain a Tunisian passport for your daughter, and its very easy to obtain especially if you know people that work there.

You said in your post that your ex was messing about with under age girls, that in itself makes me feel sick so god knows how you felt at the time as his wife.

1. Get an injunction out on him so that he is not allowed to come within so many miles and if he does then he will be arrested
2. Let the nursery know what is going on so that they are aware of the situation.
3. Were the police ever involved in any of these violent incidents?If so make sure that you go and get all these reported incidents on paper, dates, times and why the police were called 4. Get a letter from your doctor stating that this is making you feel unsafe and that you are getting depressed because of this situation.
5. Is the fathers name on the birth certificate ?
6 Make sure that you do not give him any recent passport sized photo's of your daughter as he will need these for a Tunisian passport, as for a birth certificate he can get one for a small fee.
7. Do you live in a council property ? If you are leaving in a council property ask your housing officer to move you and explain your situation.
8. Make sure that you change all contact details with your GP, you know they keep the telephone number of parents or guardians and you don't want them to contact him for anything.
9. Have you ever taken money from him for your daughter ?
10. Depending on the situation, the judge could arrange for supervised visitation so that your ex can see your daughter with someone in authority present.
11. Keep a diary and write down any date or times that you see him and write down anything that you feel is abusive or threatening.

Good luck

ive had an injunction before this was a couple of years ago now ... the nursery have a list of authorised people which can collect her from nursery and only have mine and my mams contact details for emergencies ... the nursery also has a copy of the prohibited steps order which is in place till she is 18. also on the prohibited steps order one of the conditions is that he is unable to obtain a passport for our daughter English Tunisian or otherwise. he has not had any photos since he left last may other than a 1 his sister let him download from her FB account but its not passport.
I have never taken any money from him for our daughter neither has he EVER supplied anything which she needed. Yes his name is is on the birth certificate. I live in private rent accommodation .. ive already told him last year that if he comes to the house I will call the police regardless of what he is there for or wanting.

I avoid him like the plague I don't hardly ever go into the local village just incase he is there as he has friends that live there and visits often as ive been told .. times that I have seen him has been in passing in the my car and ive just carried on.

I don't even want supervised visits to be agreed he has not sought any legal routes yet but after the question from his sister today that he wanted to see her I know something is up ... and its most likely that he is trying to use our daughter as a way of being able to stay in the uk and once he has got the visa he will nothing to do with her again

 

[ROULLA]

... the nursery also has a copy of the prohibited steps order which is in place till she is 18. also on the prohibited steps order one of the conditions is that he is unable to obtain a passport for our daughter English Tunisian or otherwise. ..

Good morning Rachel, thought that I would quickly reply before I head out to work.
No matter what anyone say's , he can still apply for a Tunisian passport, remember that and there is nothing that you or anyone can do about it. I do not mean to be so blunt but this is a fact.
Have a good day

 

[daffodil]

Hi Rachel,

What an awful situation for you...

I have no experience of probs regarding a child with a Tunisian...

However i can confirm how useless UKBA are when things go wrong with the marriage.....They do nothing to help us at all....

The man will use any card he can to stay here ....work, children, human rights anything.....

Often they will blame the woman for the situation, and UKBA believe them..

As MM said it is as if the home office punish the British citizen, for bringing them here in the first place !!

Good Luck with everything Rachel....I hope he just goes back home, although it is probably hoping for too much i know

 

[Rachel]

Hello All,

I have been told today by Immigration enforcement that my ex husbands UK spouse visa has been cancelled and he is no longer allowed to work ... which is great news.
However they have let on that he has a outstanding case ... a new application for a visa. The confirmed that it is not a study visa nor is it a parent of a UK child visa .... but yet A FIANCE visa!!!!!
He has applied for this whilst here in the UK ... someone please correct me if I am wrong but .....
I divorced my husband here in the UK, as far as I am aware no documents have been sent to the town hall in tunis to complete the divorce in Tunisia, so in Tunisia we are still classed as being married.
I have told immigration this during my phone call with them this afternoon, which they said that they would look into and put notes on the file.

How can he apply for a fiancé visa when we are still "married" as this would still be shown on his birth certificate with no corresponding divorce? OR will this not apply as he has applied for the visa from UK as we divorced in the UK?

I have known since I kicked him out he had a new partner as he had been seeing her behind my back prior to me kicking him out so that has not come as a shock.

can anyone advise on this?

thanks in advance

 

[Trulymadlydeeply]

Cheeky so and so!!! As you are legally divorced here it would seem to be ok, BUT he will have to supply documents for the new visa of which I am sure would include BC and a B3?! Criminal record here and still married there nit looking good lol... I also thought he had to wait 3 clear months from decree absolute to applying for a visa is this the case?

 

[Rachel]

we will have been divorced 3 months to the day on the 21st June - 3 days time .. but it sounds like he has already submitted the paperwork for the fiancé visa as immigration said there is an open case for him.

 

[Trulymadlydeeply]

Maybe a case to get the application thrown out?! Worth checking out...

 

[Jane BM]

we will have been divorced 3 months to the day on the 21st June - 3 days time .. but it sounds like he has already submitted the paperwork for the fiancé visa as immigration said there is an open case for him.

I was under the impression that all he'd need to do is provide evidence to the municipality where you married that you are now divorced, ie, register it over there...if that's the case then he may have already done this and got himself a new BC.....