Is this normal for a Tunisian man?

#1
I am American and have been married 5 years to a Tunisian man and we have 2 sons. He is truly a good person and he provides very well for his family. One thing that drives me crazy is he is lazy. A few examples: If he's eating something in a package he throws the package on the floor. If he or one of the kids spills something he walks away. He undresses and leaves his clothes where he undressed. I make sure the bills are payed (with his money). I service and wash the vehicles. I take care of the home including any repairs and I also care for the kids mostly on my own.
When he is home he sits outside and ignores everyone. When Im busy cooking the kids will be getting into stuff or crying and he wont help. If I ask for help he gets mad. He will help for about 10 mins then go back out. I love him but I'm so frustrated by this behavior. Maybe it's our difference in culture. Maybe Im being a b*%@#...I'm not sure.
Do I just need to accept it or should I fight for my right to have help from my husband?
 

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
#2
HI there and welcome,

You married a man from Tunisia did you not know the culture before?

If your not happy and he is nice you should always discuss as maybe he assumed this would be the case as he did not know better.

At least your not a Tunisian woman with your mother in law telling you your not taking care of her prince well enough.

Even my wife got told off by her own mother when we had a argument "look after you husband better"......

A good clear the air talk is always welcome my brother in law helps a lot around the house so it can and does happen.
 
#3
Thank you so much for the response. I get what you are saying. I knew he'd expect much more than your average American man but I just had no idea it would be this bad.
 
#4
In Islam the man is suppose to help with duties around the house..Muhammad pbuh was always helping with chores until it was time to pray..my husband will not let me do his laundry or wash the floors. And he would never consider me taking care of the car. I'm American too. I would try the heart to heart talk and let him know he needs help some..Your job is 24/7 his is a lot less time..
Blessings I hope you can get him to help you..
 
#5
I am American and have been married 5 years to a Tunisian man and we have 2 sons. He is truly a good person and he provides very well for his family. One thing that drives me crazy is he is lazy. A few examples: If he's eating something in a package he throws the package on the floor. If he or one of the kids spills something he walks away. He undresses and leaves his clothes where he undressed. I make sure the bills are payed (with his money). I service and wash the vehicles. I take care of the home including any repairs and I also care for the kids mostly on my own.
When he is home he sits outside and ignores everyone. When Im busy cooking the kids will be getting into stuff or crying and he wont help. If I ask for help he gets mad. He will help for about 10 mins then go back out. I love him but I'm so frustrated by this behavior. Maybe it's our difference in culture. Maybe Im being a b*%@#...I'm not sure.
Do I just need to accept it or should I fight for my right to have help from my husband?
Oh yes! I would say that was the main reason why I left my tn boyfriend. He was lazy and just coukd not imagine myself married to such man. Also he refused even to look for a job, I know the situation in Tunisia regarding employment, but at least he could try. Also he was totally okay with his dad giving him money btw my ex is 26, so imagine! I think most of the boys in tunisia are just way tooo used to their mother looking after everything amd they reflect this on their marriage.
 
#6
Oh yes! I would say that was the main reason why I left my tn boyfriend. He was lazy and just coukd not imagine myself married to such man. Also he refused even to look for a job, I know the situation in Tunisia regarding employment, but at least he could try. Also he was totally okay with his dad giving him money btw my ex is 26, so imagine! I think most of the boys in tunisia are just way tooo used to their mother looking after everything amd they reflect this on their marriage.
Thank God my husband is not lazy when it comes to making money. If anything he is a overachiever in that department. That's why I am willing to do everything else. I am just truly exhausted.
 
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