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money with tunisian man

Lola2312

Active Member
#1
Hello all,
New on here :) I met my tunisian bf in june on holiday, I went back out september for 2 weeks. In between we skype and facebook. He is 24 im 22 and he works with watersports on beach although that will end soon with season ending. I met his family on the last trip and we spent a few nights together in apartments as otherwise dont get too spend much time with him as he's working all day.
First hol he paid for everything for me when we went out, 2nd hol he did for first week then his money ran out and he managed to get 10/20 dinar to help and id contribute for things like drinks/meals. Anytime we rented apartment he contributed but I paid most. He has only actually asked me for money once and he said hes saved up a little for when I came back (in sept) as I asked where he was getting money from.
I naturally contribute when we do stuff as im used to paying 50/50 with guys in england, but I read a lot about how tunisian men should never ask for money from their gfs/wives..
Does it really mean cz ive paid a bit that he could be a rat or does it vary in relationships? Should we expect them to pay when most english men wouldn't.
I know they dont get paid much but he also knows I dont earn much. He has a degree and wants a good job but says he just cant find a well paid job.
He knows I expect him to look after me and pay for things but equally I dont feel he should pay for everything.

Sorry for long essay just want to know people's views and how they split money?
 

Jellycat

Well-Known Member
#4
I'd be more suspicious if he was easily able to pay for everything as that could mean he had one or a number of women sending him money. Just proceed with caution and enjoy . You can't really expect them to pay for everything as they don't earn enough. The traditional way of the man having to pay for everything is why so many Tunisian men can't get married.
 

Scottochott

Well-Known Member
#5
Keep your mind open and your purse shut. Google bezness and check out the other internet sites. My advice as always (sorry if it's getting boring for regulars), look on it as a fun holiday fling and get on with your life, high likelihood of expensive heartbreak ahead.
 

Aslemma

Well-Known Member
#6
Keep your mind open and your purse shut. Google bezness and check out the other internet sites. My advice as always (sorry if it's getting boring for regulars), look on it as a fun holiday fling and get on with your life, high likelihood of expensive heartbreak ahead.
I think that is a rather sweeping statement. They are still quite young and though he is working his wages will undoubtedly be low, yet he has shown that he is prepared to contribute as much as possible to their time together. Lola says that she would expect to contribute financially in a relationship with an Englishman, who would probably be earning a reasonable wage, so why should it be any different in this case? It would be different if he was asking her to buy him presents, whether expensive or not, but it seems she is simply contributing to what they share when together. There are not many Tunisians of 24 years of age, even those with degrees, who would earn enough to provide an apartment, food and entertainment for their girlfriend for a couple of weeks, no matter where she came from.

As long as she keeps a clear head, and doesn't feel obliged to pay out more than she is comfortably able, I see no reason why she should simply give up on him purely because he can't afford to pay for everything. As Jellycat says, if they have a lot of money at that age they are probably getting it from other women. An alternative might be that they are earning it from other less savoury activities such as drug-dealing, so I rather think his lack of unlimited finances might be a good sign.:)
 
#7
There are no absolutes. I can tell you that I've dated several Arabs both rich and poor and I've never once opened my purse. EVER. My ex-husband is Lebanese and he would NEVER let me pay for anything EVER. My current (and final!) husband is Tunisian and he is the same way. This is the cultural norm. Now does that automatically mean that any Arab man who allows you to contribute when you go out is automatically a "rat"? Of course not. Just be aware that this is not the norm. I met my husband through an online dating site. There are many who will say: "omg, he's a rat because a self-respecting decent Tunisian man would NEVER go online to meet a wife". I've seen on sites where people have told this to other women and told them that they were foolish for even entering into the relationship. Well, It's good for me to know that his behavior of using an online dating site was not the norm, but like I said before, there are no absolutes and I'm not going to throw away a perfectly good relationship because in some ways my man does not fit into the norms of his culture.
 

janette

Well-Known Member
#8
There are no absolutes. I can tell you that I've dated several Arabs both rich and poor and I've never once opened my purse. EVER. My ex-husband is Lebanese and he would NEVER let me pay for anything EVER. My current (and final!) husband is Tunisian and he is the same way. This is the cultural norm. .
Fact!!
 

Saule

Active Member
#10
Good Morning,

Times are changing, and I don't see anything wrong if a 'european' women contributes. My husband has a small business, but what he earns in a month I earn 10x more, from that wage he needs to pay all the bills (he is the man of the house) plus give to his family. I do not expect him at all to pay for everything, I come to see him every 3/4months and pay each time £300. All the other small expenses he will pay for it, he has never asked me for any presents(if he did,he would give me the money back).He has treated me well with presents(jewelry) and there are times where he would be apologizing for not having enough money.
Lola-it's extra pressure for a tunisian man to have a relationship with a european women when it comes to money,as they have to contribute a lot, when there is a lack of money. If they had a tunisian girlfriend they would only spend it on coffee from time to time(they not supposed to socialize a lot before marriage-a male person needs to be present.)
Meeting his family so soon, is not a very good sign, as usually you meet the family when you get engaged. My husband took me to meet his family after a year, two days before that we got engaged online :D and then I was introduced to the family. Bringing a different girl each time to home is an embarrassing for the whole family or unless they are a 'rat' family and they don't care (only for a purpose).
Take your time, and don't fall head over heals.Don't tell him about any websites that you are on, as they are usually good at manipulating and telling that we are all jealous:) Read information, make your self familiar with all the warning signs and don't fall for it, as it can drain you emotionally and financially.
 
#12
Good Morning,

Meeting his family so soon, is not a very good sign, as usually you meet the family when you get engaged. My husband took me to meet his family after a year, two days before that we got engaged online :D and then I was introduced to the family. Bringing a different girl each time to home is an embarrassing for the whole family or unless they are a 'rat' family and they don't care (only for a purpose).
Take your time, and don't fall head over heals.Don't tell him about any websites that you are on, as they are usually good at manipulating and telling that we are all jealous:) Read information, make your self familiar with all the warning signs and don't fall for it, as it can drain you emotionally and financially.
With the exception of my husband(s) I never met any families of any of the Arab men I had dated. Meeting the family is a MUCH bigger deal to them than it is to westerners. My current husband didn't even TELL his father about me until after I had agreed to marry him. The night he told me that he had told his father about me, he was absolutely GIDDY that the conversation went well and that his father was supportive. With me, I blab to my family after a promising first date.. it's a VERY different culture.