Very confused!

Claireyamy

New Member
#1
Hi
I was after a little advice, my friend and yes, i genuinely do mean a friend, (I am not referring to myself) has fallen for a Tunisian man. I have met this man twice as I have been to Tunisia on two occassions with her and he does seem very lovely and legit but I, rightly or wrongly do have my reservations. I think marriage will come soon. How likely is it and how lengthy is the process of him being able to move to England, also, if things don't work out and they unfortunately end up getting divorced, will he have the right to stay in the UK or will he be sent back to Tunisia? Or do they have to be married for a certain amount of years before this applies. I hope this post doesn't come across as bitter etc and as I say, I do very much like this man and all I want is my best friend to be happy, but she has been hurt a lot in the past and I do not want her to suffer anymore heartache. Thank you in advance.
x
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#2
Firstly as a friend, Id certainly advise her not to rush Into marriage and to take it slowly.

It's not straightforward to come to the UK now at all...it's a long, stressful process...for example she needs to earn a minimum of £18,600 as his sponsor, if she doesn't then they don't qualify. The best thing to do is read up on the UKVI site and look under settlement/spousal visas.

No he wouldnt automatically have to go back to Tunisia if the marriage broke up, that's why the visa process is so complex, because they don't want people coming and then within 5 minutes the marriage has broken down and there's noone to 'support' the spouse...thus becoming a burden on the taxpayer. There are lots of variants.
 

Claireyamy

New Member
#3
Thank you Jane, I definetly will advise her but when people are in love sometimes it's hard to look passed this and think about things logically isn't it? I think as she is a little older than myself I think she may think that this is her last chance, hoping it works out for her whatever she decides to do. I know that if they do decide to get married and he gets to the Uk, if the marriage breaks down it will be hard for her to have to see him if he stays in the same city. That's why I wanted to get as much information as I can so I can be there for her with the facts. Thank you again
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#4
Thank you Jane, I definetly will advise her but when people are in love sometimes it's hard to look passed this and think about things logically isn't it? I think as she is a little older than myself I think she may think that this is her last chance, hoping it works out for her whatever she decides to do. I know that if they do decide to get married and he gets to the Uk, if the marriage breaks down it will be hard for her to have to see him if he stays in the same city. That's why I wanted to get as much information as I can so I can be there for her with the facts. Thank you again
Once he's here, it's very difficult for him to be sent back....so if she's going to go ahead with it, then she'll have to deal with the fact that should the marriage break down that there's a strong likelihood she will have to see him in her home town.

Word of caution though, and again as a friend, so many women are in the same situation in life and feel they're at 'last chance saloon'....only to live to regret it.....if you can be her voice of reason then you'll be doing her a great service. Keep her feet on the ground. X
 

Claireyamy

New Member
#5
I hope I can, and she usually is very head strong but 'love' can do silly things to you can't it. I feel bad as I am a very trustworthy person and see the best in everyone so feel bad thinking the worst in people but I just want her to be very cautious! I read somewhere that if a Tunisian gets to the UK then
 

Claireyamy

New Member
#6
They have to stay married together for at least six years before they can get divorced? Do you know if that's the case. I feel bad in thinking that the marraige may end but I think its best knowing all eventualities x
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
#7
Not sure why you are questioning so much about when/if they divorce and they aren't married yet? Strange questions to ask?
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#8
They have to stay married together for at least six years before they can get divorced? Do you know if that's the case. I feel bad in thinking that the marraige may end but I think its best knowing all eventualities x
No that's not the case.....it's the same as any marriage.....x
 

Claireyamy

New Member
#9
Maybe an odd question, but there was no malice in it so apologies if it offends,
Yes they are not married yet but it is inevitable and I am trying to get different perspectives together to advise my friend, as stated many times I don't want to assume the worst if she does go ahead and marries this man, but she needs to know all the possible outcomes.
 

missmetal

Well-Known Member
#10
I think the questions are because you're not that confident in the relationship. These are not the questions we ask when we marry someone locally. There is always different risk marrying someone internationally. I know that if I was your friend and you spoke about divorce already I would close myself off to you. So just be careful of that because we have also seen people lose friends over these relationships. I think encouraging her to take her time is a great idea. Encourage the relationship, but encourage it to go slow.
 

kassie

Well-Known Member
#11
They have to stay married together for at least six years before they can get divorced? Do you know if that's the case. I feel bad in thinking that the marraige may end but I think its best knowing all eventualities x
No....there are particular circumstances where what you ask is not the case! Just look up "divorce law". That will give you reasons as to particular circumstances!
x
 

Claireyamy

New Member
#12
Thank you kassie x
 

Claireyamy

New Member
#13
Thank you for your comments Miss Metal. I am not wanting this to cause problems in our friendship and I know it won't as my friend wants these answers that's the only reason I am asking, so apologies if it hasn't come across this way. I do whole heartedly support her and will encourage her to do whatever it takes to make her happy and hope whatever happens is the happiest best possible outcome for them both.
 

Mrs H

Active Member
#14
They have to stay married together for at least six years before they can get divorced? Do you know if that's the case. I feel bad in thinking that the marraige may end but I think its best knowing all eventualities x
I think where u are getting this from is the fact that they have to wait 5 years now before they get indefinite leave to remain. But that doesn't mean that he will necessarily stay with her for the 5 years. It's like any other marriage if it doesn't work out then they will split up. If she married someone from the same city she wouldn't expect them to move away if they got divorced so why is she so worried about him being allowed to stay if they do divorce. It looks to me like she only wants him if there is a guarantee that he will stay with her for the period of his visa and if he leaves after that she wants him punished by sending him back to Tunisia. I'm sorry to tell you but if he is only using her for a visa, 5 years will be plenty time for him to save up money to send back home for his future so he probably wouldn't even care if they did send him home (which is very unlikely).
Don't think that they want to come here for the good life cos most of them can't handle our way of life and yearn to return to tuneland
 

andshe

Member
#15
Suggest that she keeps her cash separate from his - no joint accounts, no joint mortgages etc etc. I agree with Mrs H that most Tunisians would prefer to be sitting in a café in Tunisia with a bit of cash in the bank than slaving away at a job in the UK so if his intentions are dishonourable he'll be out of there once he has a bit of money.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#16
And when/if she marries in Tunisia make sure she ticks the 'separation of assets' box on the marriage contract.
 

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
#17
Hi
I was after a little advice, my friend and yes, i genuinely do mean a friend, (I am not referring to myself) has fallen for a Tunisian man. I have met this man twice as I have been to Tunisia on two occassions with her and he does seem very lovely and legit but I, rightly or wrongly do have my reservations. I think marriage will come soon. How likely is it and how lengthy is the process of him being able to move to England, also, if things don't work out and they unfortunately end up getting divorced, will he have the right to stay in the UK or will he be sent back to Tunisia? Or do they have to be married for a certain amount of years before this applies. I hope this post doesn't come across as bitter etc and as I say, I do very much like this man and all I want is my best friend to be happy, but she has been hurt a lot in the past and I do not want her to suffer anymore heartache. Thank you in advance.
x
Is this a older woman poor Tunisian animation worker marriage or younger/within 5 years marrying the Hotel Manager/professional type relationship?

If its the former your going to have a difficult time with VISAs etc and it may also be worth checking if the guy is married etc etc as its a cottage industry and if he is a known scammer it would be worth knowing before the process even starts.

Not saying its not legitimate sometimes it works but worth checking before as more often than not it does not.
 

kassie

Well-Known Member
#18
Suggest that she keeps her cash separate from his - no joint accounts, no joint mortgages etc etc. I agree with Mrs H that most Tunisians would prefer to be sitting in a café in Tunisia with a bit of cash in the bank than slaving away at a job in the UK so if his intentions are dishonourable he'll be out of there once he has a bit of money.
OMG ....you are so right....( in my case) At one time....I was extremely cautious on what I posted! Now...I don't see why I should "hide". I did nothing wrong....and I won't be intimidated by anyone.....never again! Look after you! :) take care xx
 

Heather t

Member
#19
Hi Claireyamy Google Bezness in north Africa if any signs in his behavior relates to what you read make your friend aware, but be careful how you tell her i have lost friends through this wouldn't listen to me until it was too late and they lost everything..... if you want to contact me i would be happy to talk with you about my experience :)
 

kassie

Well-Known Member
#20
They have to stay married together for at least six years before they can get divorced? Do you know if that's the case. I feel bad in thinking that the marraige may end but I think its best knowing all eventualities x
No....not necessarily.....it would depend on circumstances! x
 
Top