Western Woman Islamic Convert

frank7859

New Member
#1
Hi,
As a non muslim I am trying to understand what restrictions a western woman (who had converted to Islam to be with her Muslim husband) would be made upon her.
I understand she cannot have male friends, is that correct ?
Could someone please explain what restrictions are put upon her going out, both socially and work wise.
For example can she go shopping on her own, or if invited to a Party - attend that without her husband (if he chose not to go).
What does Islam say about media - ie TV Radio, Books and Magazines.
Thanks
 

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
#2
Your talking about pretty religious folks there.

My wife does everything she wants aside from drinking and eating pork. Does she have male friends.... yes does she see them for a coffee yes... does she stay round their houses nope but then i would not like that just as i dont have female friends come stay round my house on my own.

Islam is a billion people you have the whole range from party girls > nuns like other religions.

For every beard and ninja there are xx muslims you passed and did not notice.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#3
Kris's post is spot on....

You just can't generalise because someone is a Muslim...because each can adapt to their own circumstances and wants and needs. There are some very liberal Muslims and some not so....

Couple of points to your questions...yes it is perfectly acceptable for a Muslim woman to work and also to go shopping on her own. I think I remember you posting not long ago Frank about your ex, are these the kind of situations she is facing?
 

huttan

Well-Known Member
#4
Why convert to be with her muslim husband when they still can marry anyone from the books? As far as I know no good muslim man should force or in anyway try to make their wifes convert against their own will. No one should convert if its not from their own religious thinking thats changing...meaning that they convert because they believe in the Quran...husband or no husband.
 

Tunisian Flower

Well-Known Member
#5
Hi,
As a non muslim I am trying to understand what restrictions a western woman (who had converted to Islam to be with her Muslim husband) would be made upon her.
I understand she cannot have male friends, is that correct ?
Could someone please explain what restrictions are put upon her going out, both socially and work wise.
For example can she go shopping on her own, or if invited to a Party - attend that without her husband (if he chose not to go).
What does Islam say about media - ie TV Radio, Books and Magazines.
Thanks
My advice to u is to look for these infos from authentic sources,dnt just believe what u are being told and dnt think Islam is what u see "some muslims"do!
 

missmetal

Well-Known Member
#6
In my opinion these are cultural restrictions, and if there are mentions of it in the Quran it's simply from a protection point of view to ensure your wife is safe. I don't believe it was meant to keep your wife prisoner, but that's how it's interpreted by the extreme.
 

frank7859

New Member
#7
From what she tells me she is restricted in what she can do and where she can go, she cant be out late on her own or meet other men, even if they are in a group of people. Things like party invites have to be turned down as her husband wont allow her to go. I guess that's partly because he doesn't want to go ...
The irony is that apparently he is out till all hours at the weekend running around, whilst she is made to sit at home waiting for him, to come home and use her as a mute sex doll.
I assume then this behaviour is on the more extreme side of Muslim practice, and a minority.
I have started reading regarding Islam and common practices within marriage ... and I feel if the man is a little uneducated and ignorant he could interpret things from his culture and religion the wrong way, simply carrying forward attitudes from his forefathers, such ignorant and uneducated people exist in all cultures ... so with that in mind how can my ex have been so blind to this person who has just used her, and continues to do so, I find it sad for her.
Thank you for your replies, yes I have posted about this before, truth is I still miss her ... knowing she is unhappy in such a relationship, but being unable to do anything is difficult, sometimes, to safe guard your own emotions its better just to leave be, she seems just to want to keep the peace and not take any action, whilst believing I will hang around till she's extracted herself - which could take years, do you interfere to help - or leave be ...
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
#8
Maybe it's the mute s.ex doll stuff that's keeping her there!!!:eek: Many women stay in these relationships because of the physical side mistaking that for love.

I don't believe she is unable to do anything about her situation.

I think you should leave it be - will make her stronger finding her own way out - that's if she really wants a way out.
 

huttan

Well-Known Member
#9
Well when someone behaves like they own their partner...its not about love - its control....and thats exactly what she is (under control) because she is following HIS rules-what he says -GOES....and why do you want to hang around to be "maybe" the second choice for her...if this relationship ends?

First thing-never accept being a second choice for anyone-you deserve to be someones nr 1....and the second is even if the relationship ends and she comes back for a shoulder to cry on etc I could bet all my money on that sooner or later she would do the same thing all over-because you wore never her first choice.

Get someone who deserves you....dont you want the same kind of love in return?
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
#10
From what she tells me she is restricted in what she can do and where she can go, she cant be out late on her own or meet other men, even if they are in a group of people. Things like party invites have to be turned down as her husband wont allow her to go. I guess that's partly because he doesn't want to go ...
The irony is that apparently he is out till all hours at the weekend running around, whilst she is made to sit at home waiting for him, to come home and use her as a mute sex doll.
I assume then this behaviour is on the more extreme side of Muslim practice, and a minority.
I have started reading regarding Islam and common practices within marriage ... and I feel if the man is a little uneducated and ignorant he could interpret things from his culture and religion the wrong way, simply carrying forward attitudes from his forefathers, such ignorant and uneducated people exist in all cultures ... so with that in mind how can my ex have been so blind to this person who has just used her, and continues to do so, I find it sad for her.
Thank you for your replies, yes I have posted about this before, truth is I still miss her ... knowing she is unhappy in such a relationship, but being unable to do anything is difficult, sometimes, to safe guard your own emotions its better just to leave be, she seems just to want to keep the peace and not take any action, whilst believing I will hang around till she's extracted herself - which could take years, do you interfere to help - or leave be ...
Ignorance yes, you hit the nail on the head. Maybe you could let her know your feelings but tell her she has to get herself away from this situation. You will end up becoming obsessed by it all and really it isn't your problem. If she feels the same for you she will get away. I wish you luck :)
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#11
Frank, if I remember rightly from your previous posts this lady converted to Islam and had an 'Islamic' wedding here...also they don't have a 'legally binding' marriage contract under UK law....ill be blunt, she's not living in some Islamic state here, there are no children involved, she has a family....there is NOTHING stopping her from leaving this man...

If I was playing Devils Advocate Id perhaps suggest that you're hearing one version here, that perhaps someone likes to play the victim to her ex boyfriend for reasons unknown. Some people aren't happy without drama and crisis in their lives. If I remember from your previous posts as well there were trust issues when you were together before....

I think regardless it's not YOUR responsibility to 'rescue' her, put yourself and your own life first, there was a reason you're her ex!! And I'd say. 99% of the time it's always better to 'not go back there', if it didn't work before, chances are it won't work for the two of you this time...

IF IF IF I was ever in her situation the last person I'd go to for help and support was an ex...especially if I had family, friends, work colleagues and I'm sorry I'd never believe her if she said she had no friends to help her...but at the end of the day it's down to her...if she wants to be a martyr then let her...that's IF all that she says is true!! She's not living in Afghanistan here!!!!
 

lynn

Well-Known Member
#12
From what she tells me she is restricted in what she can do and where she can go, she cant be out late on her own or meet other men, even if they are in a group of people. Things like party invites have to be turned down as her husband wont allow her to go. I guess that's partly because he doesn't want to go ...
The irony is that apparently he is out till all hours at the weekend running around, whilst she is made to sit at home waiting for him, to come home and use her as a mute sex doll.
I assume then this behaviour is on the more extreme side of Muslim practice, and a minority.
I have started reading regarding Islam and common practices within marriage ... and I feel if the man is a little uneducated and ignorant he could interpret things from his culture and religion the wrong way, simply carrying forward attitudes from his forefathers, such ignorant and uneducated people exist in all cultures ... so with that in mind how can my ex have been so blind to this person who has just used her, and continues to do so, I find it sad for her.
Thank you for your replies, yes I have posted about this before, truth is I still miss her ... knowing she is unhappy in such a relationship, but being unable to do anything is difficult, sometimes, to safe guard your own emotions its better just to leave be, she seems just to want to keep the peace and not take any action, whilst believing I will hang around till she's extracted herself - which could take years, do you interfere to help - or leave be ...
They never listen to friends advice I been telling my mate for about 5 years she is with an algerian he treats her like crap and yes uses her for his pleasures and after that goes in the spare room and blanks her for weeks on end. Well more fool her I say, and has for not letter her go out or be alone he is controlling, cos my mate has to sit all day in the flat with the curtains closed for noone to see her, she is made to fast and not even muslim, well I think her these women have let the men brainwash them...hell would freeze over if any man tried that with me ... let her get on with it cos your banging your head against a brick wall.
 

Tunisian Flower

Well-Known Member
#13
From what she tells me she is restricted in what she can do and where she can go, she cant be out late on her own or meet other men, even if they are in a group of people. Things like party invites have to be turned down as her husband wont allow her to go. I guess that's partly because he doesn't want to go ...
The irony is that apparently he is out till all hours at the weekend running around, whilst she is made to sit at home waiting for him, to come home and use her as a mute sex doll.
I assume then this behaviour is on the more extreme side of Muslim practice, and a minority.
I have started reading regarding Islam and common practices within marriage ... and I feel if the man is a little uneducated and ignorant he could interpret things from his culture and religion the wrong way, simply carrying forward attitudes from his forefathers, such ignorant and uneducated people exist in all cultures ... so with that in mind how can my ex have been so blind to this person who has just used her, and continues to do so, I find it sad for her.
Thank you for your replies, yes I have posted about this before, truth is I still miss her ... knowing she is unhappy in such a relationship, but being unable to do anything is difficult, sometimes, to safe guard your own emotions its better just to leave be, she seems just to want to keep the peace and not take any action, whilst believing I will hang around till she's extracted herself - which could take years, do you interfere to help - or leave be ...
The way her man is treating her is nothing to do with Islam,it is just him,selfish and sick!makes me mad when some men use women as a sex dolls then link it to religion(whatever it is)
 

Tunisian Flower

Well-Known Member
#14
They never listen to friends advice I been telling my mate for about 5 years she is with an algerian he treats her like crap and yes uses her for his pleasures and after that goes in the spare room and blanks her for weeks on end. Well more fool her I say, and has for not letter her go out or be alone he is controlling, cos my mate has to sit all day in the flat with the curtains closed for noone to see her, she is made to fast and not even muslim, well I think her these women have let the men brainwash them...hell would freeze over if any man tried that with me ... let her get on with it cos your banging your head against a brick wall.
I have a freind like that nd married to an algerian!reading ur post makes me feel like it is the same person we both know lol some women just want to play the victim's role,i believe inside themselves they know whats right nd whats wrong...
 

frank7859

New Member
#15
Thank you all, yes I seem to be getting sucked back in again.
We met last week, and kissed and touched intimately, she told me her heart skipped a beat ...
But you are so right, I should be no. 1, not the floater, the maybe ... I must stop all contact until she's sorted herself out ...
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
#16
She obviously not taking any marriage vows seriously is she?

She did it to you before with him (maybe others?) and now she's doing it to him - can't be trusted. she's not going to change.

She's using you as a pawn Frank.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#17
Everyone deserves to be someone's NO 1.....not the 'reserve'.....if things are as she is saying Frank, and she is so scared etc there is not a chance she would be considering being intimate with someone else...she'd be trying to sort her life out!!

You're being played.....sorry...
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
#18
I do feel for you frank, you obviously still have feelings for her and she is playing on that. If her husband were to find out about you the s h i t will hit the fan.. No doubt she will be the victim again. Let her get out of her own mess, she seems to relish in it :(
 

Mezoo

VIP Member
#19
wow. very sad, the whole thing. :(
 
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