Arguments/ fall outs!

L

LoveLaughLive

Guest
#21
Well we are now approaching the 6th day of silence and it has frustrated me but he's been at work all day so I've just had a quiet day with my boy watching Christmas films and baking cakes so feeling much better now.
Defiantly making himself more miserable!! I'm just worried this is going to ruin christmas.
We've got our wedding anniversary coming up to and if he ruins either because of his mood I don't think I can ever forgive him!
Whatever his reasons was which obviously I still have no clue he has outdone it with his pathetic silence and made a mountain out of a molehill x
 

janette

Well-Known Member
#22
Did you ever imagine you'd feel sympathy for a Tunisian man...lol....xx
Only when I see Mariam's poor husband, so that makes two of them! ;) xxx
 

janette

Well-Known Member
#23
Well we are now approaching the 6th day of silence and it has frustrated me but he's been at work all day so I've just had a quiet day with my boy watching Christmas films and baking cakes so feeling much better now.
Defiantly making himself more miserable!! I'm just worried this is going to ruin christmas.
We've got our wedding anniversary coming up to and if he ruins either because of his mood I don't think I can ever forgive him!
Whatever his reasons was which obviously I still have no clue he has outdone it with his pathetic silence and made a mountain out of a molehill x
I really couldn't cope with that -- it is a form of mental abuse as far as I'm concerned and the atmosphere can't be doing your little one much good either. Seflish ***! (sorry)
 

1989

Well-Known Member
#24
I really couldn't cope with that -- it is a form of mental abuse as far as I'm concerned and the atmosphere can't be doing your little one much good either. Seflish ***! (sorry)
I agree. Its like being "punished". For possibly having an opinion different from his own.
 

Aslemma

Well-Known Member
#25
There is absolutely no excuse whatsoever for his behaviour If he were to tell you what has upset him you would have the chance to either discuss it or even apologise if you felt he may have a point, but without having any idea of what his complaint is you can do neither. I think your best bet might be to tell him straight that you aren't prepared to put up with his sulking any longer and unless he's prepared to discuss things you aren't prepared to cook his meals or wash and iron his clothes (and anything else you may like to add :))
 

TunisianYankee

Active Member
#26
Mine can't stay silent for six minutes when he's upset, let alone six days.
 

gem15

Well-Known Member
#28
I wish mine would do the silent thing but nooooo he always has to talk it out. I like a good sulk and would enjoy the peace and quiet.
 

janette

Well-Known Member
#29
Some one remind me never to have a disagreement with either Jane or Gem ------------------- even worse Jane AND Gem - couldn't cope with that at all!! :(
 
L

LoveLaughLive

Guest
#30
Well last night started off ok, I talked and he started to. Then we had dinner and the house was peaceful again ad started to feel abit like normal. But then later on we watched a film and after the film it all blew up. He said what had annoyed him and as he was saying it all I could think of was all the crap I have put up with over the years and I started reminding him of everything he'd done in the past. He of course got defensive but new I was right, but it really didn't end well at all and I was crying just so frustrated with his lack of respect for me.
Then he came to bed stating "I paid for this bed so I'm sleeping in it" and then started to have his way... Sorry for giving to much info but and I know this sounds awful but I wasn't in the position to say no, It was better for me to just let him get on with it (I know what ur all thinking) and to be honest it was horrible. I woke up with my hair all over the bed, hair he'd pulled out. I'm really sore all over from where he bit me and my head hurts from being slapped in the face/head. He did say he loved me whilst it was happening (again I know what ur thinking) and then after I got some verbal abuse and he turned over and went to sleep.

I really think we have been through far to much to sort this out now, we're always gonna come back to this love/hate relationship that is quite frankly dangerous.

When it's good it's good, but when it's bad it's a nightmare.

I'm so tired this morning, Mentally and physically!
To top everything off id mentioned we'd been trying for a baby (because before this episode we've been really good) and I'm 3 days late . Can't help but hope I'm not now, which sounds so bad but It's just not a good idea is it!
 

gem15

Well-Known Member
#31
I am thinking by you wording that he basically raped you??? I hope to god not.

This doesn't sound a healthy relationship at all and you seriously need to think about your next step to being safe. It's not an environment you want your child brought up in surely.

I hope you have the strength to do what's right and I wish you luck.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#32
Well last night started off ok, I talked and he started to. Then we had dinner and the house was peaceful again ad started to feel abit like normal. But then later on we watched a film and after the film it all blew up. He said what had annoyed him and as he was saying it all I could think of was all the crap I have put up with over the years and I started reminding him of everything he'd done in the past. He of course got defensive but new I was right, but it really didn't end well at all and I was crying just so frustrated with his lack of respect for me.
Then he came to bed stating "I paid for this bed so I'm sleeping in it" and then started to have his way... Sorry for giving to much info but and I know this sounds awful but I wasn't in the position to say no, It was better for me to just let him get on with it (I know what ur all thinking) and to be honest it was horrible. I woke up with my hair all over the bed, hair he'd pulled out. I'm really sore all over from where he bit me and my head hurts from being slapped in the face/head. He did say he loved me whilst it was happening (again I know what ur thinking) and then after I got some verbal abuse and he turned over and went to sleep.

I really think we have been through far to much to sort this out now, we're always gonna come back to this love/hate relationship that is quite frankly dangerous.

When it's good it's good, but when it's bad it's a nightmare.

I'm so tired this morning, Mentally and physically!
To top everything off id mentioned we'd been trying for a baby (because before this episode we've been really good) and I'm 3 days late . Can't help but hope I'm not now, which sounds so bad but It's just not a good idea is it!
This is SERIOUSLY disturbing.........seriously.....

You were raped, he pulled your hair out? He slapped you round the face?

Every alarm bell possible should be ringing.......I Don't care how good it is when it's good, if that's how bad it is when it's bad he's a dangerous man to be around, never mind having a family with.

But you know this, you've pretty much said yourself that you know what we'll all think.

No one can tell you what to do, only what we'd do!! Me, sorry, could never ever ever be with a man like this....never.

Sending you hugs. Xx
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#33
:p:p
Some one remind me never to have a disagreement with either Jane or Gem ------------------- even worse Jane AND Gem - couldn't cope with that at all!! :(
As if I could EVER have a disagreement with you....:p
 

Scottochott

Well-Known Member
#34
No one needs to put up with that. I know it's sometimes difficult to get a clear perspective when in the middle of the situation, and we don't know all the details, however I echo the comments above and hope you can see what we all think you should do. Best of luck
 

bascar

Member
#35
Oh my goodness ! That is rape !!! how can some one who loves you do that to you ... I would be out of this relationship without hesitation ! Like you say its dangerous ....
 

TunisianYankee

Active Member
#36
Well last night started off ok, I talked and he started to. Then we had dinner and the house was peaceful again ad started to feel abit like normal. But then later on we watched a film and after the film it all blew up. He said what had annoyed him and as he was saying it all I could think of was all the crap I have put up with over the years and I started reminding him of everything he'd done in the past. He of course got defensive but new I was right, but it really didn't end well at all and I was crying just so frustrated with his lack of respect for me.
Then he came to bed stating "I paid for this bed so I'm sleeping in it" and then started to have his way... Sorry for giving to much info but and I know this sounds awful but I wasn't in the position to say no, It was better for me to just let him get on with it (I know what ur all thinking) and to be honest it was horrible. I woke up with my hair all over the bed, hair he'd pulled out. I'm really sore all over from where he bit me and my head hurts from being slapped in the face/head. He did say he loved me whilst it was happening (again I know what ur thinking) and then after I got some verbal abuse and he turned over and went to sleep.

I really think we have been through far to much to sort this out now, we're always gonna come back to this love/hate relationship that is quite frankly dangerous.

When it's good it's good, but when it's bad it's a nightmare.

I'm so tired this morning, Mentally and physically!
To top everything off id mentioned we'd been trying for a baby (because before this episode we've been really good) and I'm 3 days late . Can't help but hope I'm not now, which sounds so bad but It's just not a good idea is it!
This is not related to your husband being Tunisian. You are an abused woman. Were things actually "Good" as you say prior to this episode or were they just "less bad"? Get out of this relationship because it will only get worse. There is no excuse for this behavior. This is NOT "normal tunisian behavior" or Normal man behavior. Is your husband depending on you for residency?
 

1989

Well-Known Member
#37
Well last night started off ok, I talked and he started to. Then we had dinner and the house was peaceful again ad started to feel abit like normal. But then later on we watched a film and after the film it all blew up. He said what had annoyed him and as he was saying it all I could think of was all the crap I have put up with over the years and I started reminding him of everything he'd done in the past. He of course got defensive but new I was right, but it really didn't end well at all and I was crying just so frustrated with his lack of respect for me.
Then he came to bed stating "I paid for this bed so I'm sleeping in it" and then started to have his way... Sorry for giving to much info but and I know this sounds awful but I wasn't in the position to say no, It was better for me to just let him get on with it (I know what ur all thinking) and to be honest it was horrible. I woke up with my hair all over the bed, hair he'd pulled out. I'm really sore all over from where he bit me and my head hurts from being slapped in the face/head. He did say he loved me whilst it was happening (again I know what ur thinking) and then after I got some verbal abuse and he turned over and went to sleep.

I really think we have been through far to much to sort this out now, we're always gonna come back to this love/hate relationship that is quite frankly dangerous.

When it's good it's good, but when it's bad it's a nightmare.

I'm so tired this morning, Mentally and physically!
To top everything off id mentioned we'd been trying for a baby (because before this episode we've been really good) and I'm 3 days late . Can't help but hope I'm not now, which sounds so bad but It's just not a good idea is it!
Abuse.

Abuse.

Abuse.

Giving away sex coz u feel u cant say no is ABUSE.

I have been there, done that. Not neccessarily the sex thing but I have experienced varying degrees of abuse over the yrs.

My husbands stopped but that's coz I moved out and have strict rules on what happens under MY roof.
 

Aslemma

Well-Known Member
#38
Abuse indeed. The poor girl was raped and certainly didn't 'give away sex'. I very much doubt she' felt she couldn't say no' but was physically unable to resist as her husband was stronger than her. There was also a young child in the house and many women will suffer in relative silence rather than allow their child to hear or see something which will upset them.

I feel she needs to see this as a wake-up call, especially if something similar has ever occurred in the past. If it is indeed the first time she may want to give him a final warning but if it has happened before she needs to seriously consider getting out of the relationship as it will establish a pattern. No matter how good the good times are this sort of behaviour shows his real nature and she will always be in fear of him. I do hope that she isn't pregnant with another baby, but even if she is she would be better as a lone parent than subjecting herself and her children to this behaviour.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#39
Well I've just reread it again.....and it chills me....

There'd me no final warning for me......regardless of my situation....absolutely none.

Slapped/punched/bitten/raped/hair pulled out/verbally abused!!!!!

This man should be in a prison cell....nowhere else.
 

bascar

Member
#40
I cant get this out of my mind .... please do not stay with this man, its not normal behaviour for anyone ...nothing to do with race or religion ... he is an animal !
 
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