Does anyone have anything supportive to say about young Tunisian men?

love is forever

New Member
#41
I have an awesome fiance he is 22. From what he tells me there are a lot of untrustworthy men but that is any where you go. I went to see him in January and will be staying a whole month in June. I worried about that myself at first but you have to get to know the person you are with is my best advice. We have came across problems like any other relationship but I know he loves me for who I am and not what I can offer. You have to be smart and ask questions. If anything throws you off about him go with your gut instinct.
 

mrsmannai

Well-Known Member
#42
I have an awesome fiance he is 22. From what he tells me there are a lot of untrustworthy men but that is any where you go. I went to see him in January and will be staying a whole month in June. I worried about that myself at first but you have to get to know the person you are with is my best advice. We have came across problems like any other relationship but I know he loves me for who I am and not what I can offer. You have to be smart and ask questions. If anything throws you off about him go with your gut instinct.
salaam :) i see wht u write, but still have my doubts.. sorry.. and in june is ramadan, so i take it u go b4 tht, if this is a genuine relationship, only time will tell, but he is 22, n still have a lot to prove.. wht he work with ? how he support you? where u meet? and the fact he state for u there is a lot of unthrusty men there, ring ring, !!! believe me, if u r the one paying for your stay, paying for a coffee, pYING FOR GIFTS TO BRING FAMILY, AND PICKING UP THE TAB, AFTER SPENDING TIME IN THE CAFE WITH HIS FRIENDS, HE IS NOT IN IT FOR LOVE.. SORRY TO SAY IT, BUT I HOPE WITH ALL MY HEART I AM WRONG remember, remember, whatever little u have, it is probably more than him, so in his perspective, u r "rich" and, u can provide visa, wich means more thtan money, and im sure u r the one paying to fly in n out of tunisia, imo, u have extremel pink shades on, and common is tht the womans say : he loves me 4 who i am , not what i can offer...never did i see a woman say : what he can offer... other than soft talk, words of devine love, n u r the only one i want, i dnt like tunisian girls(cuz they r so materialistic) i love my country, but it gives no opportunity, etc..., but , inshallah im wrong, the best of luck 4 u
 
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doris

New Member
#43
Hello Curly,
I completely relate to your query. I too was faced (and still am 1 year later) with a huge amount of negativity. The stories you hear of bezness or rat behaviour as they call it are unbelievable, but sadly rife. However when you read the more extreme cases in the papers I find it hard to sympathise with a 60 year old woman who dished out thousands from the start that is then surprised & heart broken when her hot 25 year old does a runner. But there are more concerning stories of men who were playing a long game, with attractive women of their own age.
I beleive unless there are glaringly obvious signs from the begining (asking for money, violence, unavailability, etc) there is no way ok knowing and all you can do is be careful, keep an open mind, and expect the same as if you were dating a man from your own country - do not lower your expectations.

My own story is I met my Tunisian Fiance whilst on holiday, My mother & i got a bit lost looking for the marina (must have had sun stroke coz cant miss it now!) My partner was walking in same direction with his friend and offered to show us. When we got to destination, he asked if I would meet him for coffee the next day, I was reluctant but glad i did. We saw each other for a few hours every day, and kept in touch when i came home via skype. We talked in depth about everything & our future expectations. He has never asked for a penny, i never take gifts ( apart from his birthday) he contributes to the accommodaion & our stay. He is not in animation & works hard for his Brother in law's business.

1 year and a bit down the line, and it has become SOOOO HARRRD. I love him and he loves me, but the emotional drain is testing. My family & friends are extremely unsupportive, convinced he will be controlling & strict as soon as he gets his visa, and that it is stupid to consider marriage after only spending 12 weeks in someones company (they refuse to count the hours on skype as "real" the cost of visiting is crippling, and we are now faced with trying to arrange a wedding on a minimum budget, and I have today learnt that as I will soon be self employed, I will have to wait at leaast a year to apply for a visa after we marry. The admin & pressure is immense - my mind is never relaxed as i am either lonely, frustrated, fighting our corner with doubters, or trying to figure out how we can be together sensibly.
You are constantly scrutinised and if you do argue, you are faced with "I told you so's" from your friends & family so even normal arguments that all couples have become analysed to death and back.
It is not easy, but I hope it will be worth it in the end for all going through what we are going through.
x
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#44
Hello Curly,
I completely relate to your query. I too was faced (and still am 1 year later) with a huge amount of negativity. The stories you hear of bezness or rat behaviour as they call it are unbelievable, but sadly rife. However when you read the more extreme cases in the papers I find it hard to sympathise with a 60 year old woman who dished out thousands from the start that is then surprised & heart broken when her hot 25 year old does a runner. But there are more concerning stories of men who were playing a long game, with attractive women of their own age.
I beleive unless there are glaringly obvious signs from the begining (asking for money, violence, unavailability, etc) there is no way ok knowing and all you can do is be careful, keep an open mind, and expect the same as if you were dating a man from your own country - do not lower your expectations.

My own story is I met my Tunisian Fiance whilst on holiday, My mother & i got a bit lost looking for the marina (must have had sun stroke coz cant miss it now!) My partner was walking in same direction with his friend and offered to show us. When we got to destination, he asked if I would meet him for coffee the next day, I was reluctant but glad i did. We saw each other for a few hours every day, and kept in touch when i came home via skype. We talked in depth about everything & our future expectations. He has never asked for a penny, i never take gifts ( apart from his birthday) he contributes to the accommodaion & our stay. He is not in animation & works hard for his Brother in law's business.

1 year and a bit down the line, and it has become SOOOO HARRRD. I love him and he loves me, but the emotional drain is testing. My family & friends are extremely unsupportive, convinced he will be controlling & strict as soon as he gets his visa, and that it is stupid to consider marriage after only spending 12 weeks in someones company (they refuse to count the hours on skype as "real" the cost of visiting is crippling, and we are now faced with trying to arrange a wedding on a minimum budget, and I have today learnt that as I will soon be self employed, I will have to wait at leaast a year to apply for a visa after we marry. The admin & pressure is immense - my mind is never relaxed as i am either lonely, frustrated, fighting our corner with doubters, or trying to figure out how we can be together sensibly.
You are constantly scrutinised and if you do argue, you are faced with "I told you so's" from your friends & family so even normal arguments that all couples have become analysed to death and back.
It is not easy, but I hope it will be worth it in the end for all going through what we are going through.
x
Very good post into the reality further down the line.....xxx
 

doris

New Member
#45
Thank you Jane, I actually wanted to add a bit but was rushing as using internet at work lol.

Another point i wanted to make is, there will be cultural differences but what is harder is you are given advice on sites like these & many others, of what to expect based on traditional Tunisian beliefs and relationship behaviours, such as, if your partner shows affection in public he has no respect, & if they expect you to contribute to the wedding costs he is wrong or if you so much as pay for a sesame seed he is bleeding you dry...and then as you will see with your own eyes, attitudes are changing there, they are becoming more "westernised" (a great shame in my eyes) the women are becoming more liberal & relationships are becoming more casual (not to the UKs extent by any means but certainly not in line with their religious practices)
So again you will be torn between what is "proper" over there, and what is actually happening in plain view.
X
 
#46
Hi Everyone,

I am new here, I have recently returned from my first visit to Tunisia, sousse to be precise. I fell in love with the place.

I went with absolutely no expectations of meeting someone infact quite the opposite, but I did meet a guy. I am 27 and very independent and have my head screwed on tight! I am completely aware of the horror stories you hear about European girls and Tunisian men. Therefore on my return I did some research, and all I have come across is negativity, seriously are they all awful??? every one of them???

So far my man has not asked me for any money or gifts, he just wishes for me to return to see him, his English is not fantastic but we talk over skype on the webcam sometimes 3 times a day if we r both free (we both work) Several times we have had the LOVERAT discussion, to the point where we have both cried. I asked for advice on another forum and I felt like I was being ridiculed and taken the mic out of for even thinking about dating a Tunisian when what I really needed was bit of support.

I know alllll the negatives, but if you read enough, basically everything he does or doesnt do means hes a RAT!

So im asking if anyone has any good experience of young, tunisian men???????? or any advice for me??

and yes he is in animation!! lol
Hi am also just back from tunisa Sousse and also started seeing an animation and an going back over next week to see him. We talk 24/7 on messenger video call and I miss him so much. But I no deep down he will never get out of Tunisia it will cost thousands witch I don’t have.
 
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