Does anyone know how to deal with Love Rats/Players/Losers/Bezness boys

FoxyRoxie89

Well-Known Member
Mel has mentioned before that the UKBA watch this site, maybe they will pick up on this?
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
but to him and those like him (too many!) he is DOING NO WRONG ~ SHE is

so its not him that needs to think long and hard about going to the UK

she does, she needs to think about whether SHE wants what hes offering

she needs to think about whether she wants more of the same day in day out,

how many times he will poleaxe her ~ because HE WILL

"stress" and all the other bullshit are very lame excuses
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
Mel has mentioned before that the UKBA watch this site, maybe they will pick up on this?
did I really say that? lol

can assure you they don't have the url from me lol

but if they DID monitor a variety of websites the visa stats etc would probably be very different lol
 

aljaye

Well-Known Member
They dont know what stress is..ive always said that..they have no idea what life here entails, thats why he needs to have it made clear to him what he will have to do here and what everything will cost him. And I agree she needs to think, because the leopard wont change his spots thats for sure.
 
C

Cas

Guest
I have serious concerns for the lady in question but what can anyone do she knows the situation and is prepared to continue down the visa road so all we can do is be there whenever the **** hits the fan and i am certain it will.
Just a thought playing Devils advocate in a way, what if there was no support in the future albeit online, what if your future was your own to deal with and no-one with kind words of commiseration what if the total response was negative. We do not let children know that whatever they do after being told that we will tell them everything`s going to be just fine, we try and be proactive and hope that when the evidence is there to the negative that they take heed and do not put their hand in the fire to get burnt.
Also it is the country that is left to deal with someone like this, we obviously have enough of a home grown problem already.
It is in womens nature to be kind but often tough love is seen to work at the end of the day.
 

FoxyRoxie89

Well-Known Member
did I really say that? lol

can assure you they don't have the url from me lol

but if they DID monitor a variety of websites the visa stats etc would probably be very different lol
Pretty sure I read that somewhere, unless it was one of your ideas?
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
Pretty sure I read that somewhere, unless it was one of your ideas?
could be lol maybe something like thank god they Dont read it lol

i do email with them most days, but they have no idea who is what and where, nothing that would identify anyone they just get me and a bunch of questions and/or complaints lol

yes i DO have some off the wall ideas ~ and theories lol

makdes life interesting sometimes lol
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
Just a thought playing Devils advocate in a way, what if there was no support in the future albeit online, what if your future was your own to deal with and no-one with kind words of commiseration what if the total response was negative. We do not let children know that whatever they do after being told that we will tell them everything`s going to be just fine, we try and be proactive and hope that when the evidence is there to the negative that they take heed and do not put their hand in the fire to get burnt.
Also it is the country that is left to deal with someone like this, we obviously have enough of a home grown problem already.
It is in womens nature to be kind but often tough love is seen to work at the end of the day.
cos the worst words in the world ~ "i told you so" ~

and right now i DO feel for lynn, cos everyone generally gets a lot of support on the visa trail, and sadly she is going to feel very much alone in it?

so in a moment of blind utopia, Lynn I do actually wish you well, right now its what you still seem to want (quite desperately) so i hope it goes well for you.

if it does go tits up ~ will be here, without "i told you so" but with "you gave it your best shot"

which is all any of us can do
 

DebbieZebbes

Active Member
They dont know what stress is..ive always said that..they have no idea what life here entails, thats why he needs to have it made clear to him what he will have to do here and what everything will cost him. And I agree she needs to think, because the leopard wont change his spots thats for sure.
I think even when they're here they have no idea of what life entails!! because they're so mollycoddled, pampered and indulged.
 

missmetal

Well-Known Member
I think even when they're here they have no idea of what life entails!! because they're so mollycoddled, pampered and indulged.
Yup this is what I've kept trying to explain to hubby. We were discussing/arguing about finances and he said you have a job and u earn $X dollars....(this was only a few months back actually so its not like I have not explained this to him before)

So i said, ok let me break it down for you. Your rent is 120 tdn plus $20 for bills. My mortgage is like $1300, so out of my $X dollars that I earn, thats how much goes just for the bloody mortgage. Plus all the other expenses that I broke down for him. And I said at the end of paying off all the expenses, plus saving to come and see you. I have a little bit of money for petrol and grocceries for the month. (im a budget queen so I have it all calculated)

There was this blank stair....Insurance for your house, car, dog....really? They dont understand that concept. Taxation just to have a car. I told him that if you're paying 150tnd for rent and bills now, try $1000, out of a $2000 Salary because you wont be earning that much more in your first year. And then see how much you have to get you through for the next 30 days of the month, Bus pass, food, cellphone and so on.

Again, just another shock and horror stair...and then the realisation that he might need to work 2 jobs! :)
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
you can show them all the bills etc and they do the blank stare, then walk away afterwards still NOT grasping it still with no concept of life outside of tune town, and how come life outside tune town is not "paradise" because their whoever has always said it is and he has blah blah of course hes in france/italy/germany yadda yadda yawn yawn LOL
 

missmetal

Well-Known Member
I just realised i spelt stare wrong!
 

lainie

Well-Known Member
its ok mm.
happens to us all - me frequently!
 

lainie

Well-Known Member
you can show them all the bills etc and they do the blank stare, then walk away afterwards still NOT grasping it still with no concept of life outside of tune town, and how come life outside tune town is not "paradise" because their whoever has always said it is and he has blah blah of course hes in france/italy/germany yadda yadda yawn yawn LOL
soooooooooooo true mellie. the blinkers of tunetown and the knowledge of "wikicafe"!
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
Agree with Debbie completely and also MM as you have broken it all down nicely as I did, EX could see that I managed it all on my own before he came so when he did earn money it wasn't needed for bills etc (in his tune brain) :mad:
 

FoxyRoxie89

Well-Known Member
MM we had the same chat too! I'm glad to now see that when I say well that only costs this, its nothing to me... he tells me to stop and think to now go back to UK prices and realise that we are in tunisia and that that is not a good price!
 

FoxyRoxie89

Well-Known Member
Agree with Debbie completely and also MM as you have broken it all down nicely as I did, EX could see that I managed it all on my own before he came so when he did earn money it wasn't needed for bills etc (in his tune brain) :mad:

Well when he got here your council tax went up, your electric maybe, but definately gas- more hot water etc, your food bill increased.
That is disgusting :(
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
Agree with Debbie completely and also MM as you have broken it all down nicely as I did, EX could see that I managed it all on my own before he came so when he did earn money it wasn't needed for bills etc (in his tune brain) :mad:
isnt that what many of them think? and that "their" money is to send back to tune town?
well you managed fine before, so you can manage now, and of course there are extra costs, but you are not sending money to him, spending a fortune of phone calls and of course flights so its easy to "afford" him, and YOU are so lucky to have HIM
and if you love him you will WANT it this way!

fooking la la land!!
 

lynn

Well-Known Member
In reply to Cave, I have not chosen to ignore anyones comments, I asked a question to see if it was usual Tunisien behaviour I never said I was leaving my husband, and I acknowledged all your comments, so plz tell me how I have chosen to ignore anyone?
 
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