Does anyone know how to deal with Love Rats/Players/Losers/Bezness boys

missmetal

Well-Known Member
Yes, now that you mention, hubby did the same with me too when I was in the hood. Bless! Sometimes they do think...not often, but sometimes :)

MM we had the same chat too! I'm glad to now see that when I say well that only costs this, its nothing to me... he tells me to stop and think to now go back to UK prices and realise that we are in tunisia and that that is not a good price!
 

missmetal

Well-Known Member
Appalling! He'll be shipped home too if my hubby tries that on me! :)

Agree with Debbie completely and also MM as you have broken it all down nicely as I did, EX could see that I managed it all on my own before he came so when he did earn money it wasn't needed for bills etc (in his tune brain) :mad:
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
you have to do what is right for you, and I am sure you understand peoples responses, in particular to your husband, and i am also guessing you don't like them much.

there are people here who have "taken" a lot worse, and for whatever reason.

I am concerned, despite my own comments that you might feel quite alone on the visa trail, and i hope that will not be the case ~

I really do wish you well, and hope that hubby takes stock and has a reality check, and begs your forgiveness to the day he dies!
 

missmetal

Well-Known Member
I made it very clear that love is not enough.
I might not be a gold digger or the type to be into labels and all that. But i had said that you might be poor now and I might be helping you out now, but when you get here...you're paying me back. (only words I know) but in his defense, he brings it up often, and says he wants to try work as soon as possible so that i can take the pressure off me for a change.

Words I know...proof is in the pudding....watch this space :)

isnt that what many of them think? and that "their" money is to send back to tune town?
well you managed fine before, so you can manage now, and of course there are extra costs, but you are not sending money to him, spending a fortune of phone calls and of course flights so its easy to "afford" him, and YOU are so lucky to have HIM
and if you love him you will WANT it this way!

fooking la la land!!
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
Appalling! He'll be shipped home too if my hubby tries that on me! :)
i love it when people say ship them/ send them "home" ~ clearly their new country, the house they share with thier wives is just that ~

a "house" and NOT their home.

for all that tunes are, to use TMD's description "not wired right" IF any of us "allow" that situation to arise, and show them in no uncertain terms that they are on thin ice, you can't always blame the hubbies?

if they are not your partner, if its "yours" singular not plural, you gotta expect their bullshit to come shining through?

"be careful what you wish for" cuts both ways?
 

lynn

Well-Known Member
I have read all the comments and im keeping a low profile atm, I am sure there are plenty here that have problems with their husband, and maybe not say a word, I never chose to ignore anyone as Cave puts it....!
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
Lynn this forum is for help and advice, you asked a question it was answered. You then went on to say how he treats you and your family and you got comments back, we don't always take advice that is given and that is your choice and yours only. Your hubby came on and proved what you have said about him with his total lack of respect for women. Whatever you decide to do we will all be here whether it is for advice or whatever. Chin up a long road lies ahead of you, all the best :)
 

lynn

Well-Known Member
thx truly x
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
I have read all the comments and im keeping a low profile atm, I am sure there are plenty here that have problems with their husband, and maybe not say a word, I never chose to ignore anyone as Cave puts it....!
a lot on your mind no doubt.

we are here when you need us
 

missmetal

Well-Known Member
LOL!!!
Home is where Mama's at! South Africa is my home #1, UK #2 and Canada #3.

I can correct my statement and say he'll be shipped back LOL

But seriously, dont take what I say so literal ;-)

i love it when people say ship them/ send them "home" ~ clearly their new country, the house they share with thier wives is just that ~

a "house" and NOT their home.

for all that tunes are, to use TMD's description "not wired right" IF any of us "allow" that situation to arise, and show them in no uncertain terms that they are on thin ice, you can't always blame the hubbies?

if they are not your partner, if its "yours" singular not plural, you gotta expect their bullshit to come shining through?

"be careful what you wish for" cuts both ways?
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
LOL!!!
Home is where Mama's at! South Africa is my home #1, UK #2 and Canada #3.

I can correct my statement and say he'll be shipped back LOL

But seriously, dont take what I say so literal ;-)
just a reminder that TUNES DO TAKE WHAT IS SAID AS LITERAL lol

and just an observation on my part that its a phrase often used, and sometimes its maybe the mindset when people are not the 100% sure they have made it out to be ~ " oh well if it all goes tits up i can send him home" like a dhl parcel!

kinda makes me wonder just how they really do view their relationships!
 

FoxyRoxie89

Well-Known Member
just a reminder that TUNES DO TAKE WHAT IS SAID AS LITERAL lol

and just an observation on my part that its a phrase often used, and sometimes its maybe the mindset when people are not the 100% sure they have made it out to be ~ " oh well if it all goes tits up i can send him home" like a dhl parcel!

kinda makes me wonder just how they really do view their relationships!

And maybe also why they dont want to put much into the "home" or country - your telling them its not theirs!

Hubby has obviously never been here but we do talk like it is his too, bcos it will be... actually meant to get a key cut over there for him to keep but forgot :(
 

missmetal

Well-Known Member
I try to talk like that too. I say our dog, your side of the bed. He's also never been here.

But he said Your apartment, Your this and that. It will never feel like his though until he's worked, saved and we've bought a house together. thats when you get the sense of true ownership. In my opinion anyways....and thats because that is how I would feel moving into his place....if he had his own.

He's the one that calls home home.....as in, he lives in sousse but always say im going home or im in my house....never Im going to visit my parents, im staying at their house....know what I mean?

And maybe also why they dont want to put much into the "home" or country - your telling them its not theirs!

Hubby has obviously never been here but we do talk like it is his too, bcos it will be... actually meant to get a key cut over there for him to keep but forgot :(
 

FoxyRoxie89

Well-Known Member
I try to talk like that too. I say our dog, your side of the bed. He's also never been here.

But he said Your apartment, Your this and that. It will never feel like his though until he's worked, saved and we've bought a house together. thats when you get the sense of true ownership. In my opinion anyways....and thats because that is how I would feel moving into his place....if he had his own.

He's the one that calls home home.....as in, he lives in sousse but always say im going home or im in my house....never Im going to visit my parents, im staying at their house....know what I mean?
Yeah I understand. S has said Im not to do much to the house, bcos he has got to- could you imagine their taste in wallpaper :/
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
And maybe also why they dont want to put much into the "home" or country - your telling them its not theirs!

its a fine and difficult line in some ways, suddenly making everything his as well as yours can be a bit daunting when they have lived in the no responsibility world lol its all part of the discussions that have to go on, some people carry on as htey did when he wasn't there sometimes its HIM that wants it that way, some can be accused of being a "rat" in not putting anything in and it oculld actually be that he has nothing to put into?
Hubby has obviously never been here but we do talk like it is his too, bcos it will be... actually meant to get a key cut over there for him to keep but forgot :(
years ago i mde a video (no DVD or computers and webcams back then lol) of the house i had at the time, wandered around
the house, rooom to room talking to him about things in the rooms ~ the kids rooms, went out side, "took" him for a drive around town with the HUGE old fashioned camcorder once, he "visited" freinds with me all really dumb stuff but it gave him a visual of life not just a verbal description!

think his favourite part was a radiator throwing a wobbler and spewing water everywhere and me paddling trying to mop it up, the kids and dogs splashing about, the heating engineer doing the "dunno if i can come today love" crap etc

think fred was trying to get to grips with me just dealing with it without it being a major drama as it would have been in tune town lol
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
I try to talk like that too. I say our dog, your side of the bed. He's also never been here.

But he said Your apartment, Your this and that. It will never feel like his though until he's worked, saved and we've bought a house together. thats when you get the sense of true ownership. In my opinion anyways....and thats because that is how I would feel moving into his place....if he had his own.

He's the one that calls home home.....as in, he lives in sousse but always say im going home or im in my house....never Im going to visit my parents, im staying at their house....know what I mean?
i do, as you said, for them, home is very much where "mama is" lol until they really make their own "home"

i was one of the lucky ones i guess cos we were able to have a "home" in tunisia, one that was just ours, not attached to his parents etc, when i wasn't there he would refer to it as "the house" saying it was only home when we were both there.

we had a rule that tunisia was OUTSIDE the front door, but once inside it was Brit/Tune and "OUR" private world with emphasis on Brit first lol he was and is happy with that which is lucky for him cos it aint gonna be changing lol
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
Yeah I understand. S has said Im not to do much to the house, bcos he has got to- could you imagine their taste in wallpaper :/
a long time ago fred was a painter ~ yeah i know ain't they all lol and hes gone back to it in france, wallpapering is another matter lol something im showing him ~ you just know its going to be paste and pasting table flying everywhere in a tantrum huh lol
 

FoxyRoxie89

Well-Known Member
Im suppose to beable to video call through skype on my phone, but I can only do normal calls, still good but I really wanted when he called me via that to show him asda etc lol
bcos when he says I am going to coffee, I know exactly where he is, when I tell him something he cant picture it :(

a long time ago fred was a painter ~ yeah i know ain't they all lol and hes gone back to it in france, wallpapering is another matter lol something im showing him ~ you just know its going to be paste and pasting table flying everywhere in a tantrum huh lol
Oh yes, the pattern of the wallpaper well its going to upside down I expect! maybe stuck to the ceiling too lol
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
i see him wearing the paste bucket to be honest lol

take the camcorder to asda and do a "docurox" for him lol

no it doesn't matter that everyone will think you are a nutter lol
 

missmetal

Well-Known Member
a long time ago fred was a painter ~ yeah i know ain't they all lol and hes gone back to it in france, wallpapering is another matter lol something im showing him ~ you just know its going to be paste and pasting table flying everywhere in a tantrum huh lol
Back in SA when Ay and I went on hols to visit my folks...his intro them, he was helping my dad cleaning the ceiling fans and then it was all hands to put them back up, bless him, but I was in hysterics because he kept dropping things and he was getting so frustrated cos my dad was doing it quicker than him and all he wanted to do was impress my dad that he knew how to screw back a ceiling fan panel....LOL!
 
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