HELP!! DIVORCE WORRIED ABOUT CHILDREN!!

salim

Well-Known Member
#41
I don't understand Salim. Are you saying you think it's okay for the father to take them from their mother and leave them in Tunisia with his family rather than them being with their mother?
No Jane what i mean is when the father has the right by the judge to keep his children , he can leave them with his family , this option is avaliable in the case when the mother lost her right to keep her kids by the law !
 

salim

Well-Known Member
#42
Really Salim that is dreadful!!!!!! :(
As i explain to Jane before this is in case when the mother lost her right to keep her children by the law for mean reasons !
 

salim

Well-Known Member
#43
the source of the mother's custody is the motherhood and as long as they satisfy the authority did not stand up this right!
 

salim

Well-Known Member
#44
An enjoying the mother in the form of assigning custody to them ( children) ,the power of the state with respect to the custody of travel , study and act in the financial account
 

janette

Well-Known Member
#45
Hi Janette, do you know what the law would say if the Tunisian man takes the children to Tunisia and leaves them with his family then comes back? Is their anything that can be done under those circumstances?
Under Tunisian law the children are Tunisian and the FATHER is the one who calls the tune. Once they are in Tunisia the father can make the decisions as to who they live with until they are 18 years old -- that is the LAW there -- so quite correct irrespective of the resulting heartbreak. If living there, they would NOT be able to leave the country without the FATHER'\S permission. It is quite in order for him to take the children to Tunisia and return to UK after leaving them in the care of responsible persons. This is why all these good ladies are urging you to do all that you can to keep the children under observation at all times. I am sure that everyone is feeling for you -- it is a dreadful time and the quicker you act the better. All best wishes.
 

janette

Well-Known Member
#46
Under Tunisian law the children are Tunisian and the FATHER is the one who calls the tune. Once they are in Tunisia the father can make the decisions as to who they live with until they are 18 years old -- that is the LAW there -- so quite correct irrespective of the resulting heartbreak. If living there, they would NOT be able to leave the country without the FATHER'\S permission. It is quite in order for him to take the children to Tunisia and return to UK after leaving them in the care of responsible persons. This is why all these good ladies are urging you to do all that you can to keep the children under observation at all times. I am sure that everyone is feeling for you -- it is a dreadful time and the quicker you act the better. All best wishes.
Reading a previous post - the British Embassy would not be able to offer assistance if the child is taken to Tunisia as the father would be obeying THE TUNISIAN LAW - just as the Tunisian Embassy here in the UK will support the Tunisian father. The fact that this is causing devastation to many foreign women is beside the point and one of the reasons why women should find out all that they can about Tunisian culture before deciding to have children with their Tunisian partners.
 

skele

Well-Known Member
#47
Vile scum! Do they have the same immigration laws as the Uk skele? I didn't think it possible for him to sponsor a tune bride as he was sponsored himself?
Vile scum indeed!
 

skele

Well-Known Member
#48
I do know of someone who is Tunisian who was in a relationship with a French woman, she got pregnant, didn't want to live in Tunisia so returned to France to have their baby. He tried to get a VV to see his child when it was born and was refused!! Even though he had his girlfriends invitation/approval. Difference being though they weren't married. Soon found a way round it though, he married an English woman he clearly has no interest in but managed to get a settlement visa to UK and now makes frequent trips to France to see his child. Who knows what will happen when he gets his ILR here...not got too long to wait either because he got his settlement here before the new regs came in here in July.
I know someone who got their papers having fathered a child without being married but he was already in France, albeit illegally.
It's so easy for them to get here, you can buy fake holiday visas, it's easier to get away with when you travel by ferry apparently, and then they just stay here. Once you dupe someone into having your baby, you're sorted! Like Truly so fittingly described them - vile scum! I thought it was appalling enough to use women and fool them and their whole families for a number of years, but to use babies, to create a life to get what you want is a whole other story.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#49
I know someone who got their papers having fathered a child without being married but he was already in France, albeit illegally.
It's so easy for them to get here, you can buy fake holiday visas, it's easier to get away with when you travel by ferry apparently, and then they just stay here. Once you dupe someone into having your baby, you're sorted! Like Truly so fittingly described them - vile scum! I thought it was appalling enough to use women and fool them and their whole families for a number of years, but to use babies, to create a life to get what you want is a whole other story.
I guess where there's a will there's a way!!! Some people have no scruples or moral fibre. I do remember when me and my husband were starting the settlement visa process, him being offered fake papers at a cost!! I was totally shocked. However my husband told me it happened often. He declined of course and told the guy to go and get a proper job!!
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
#50
I know it is devastating for those of you in relationships with Tunisians trying to get the visa etc although having said that it does seem that if you comply with what's being asked and fit the criteria it's not such a stressful time. Something HAS to be done with these "men" I have said once before I know it is extreme but anyone on a visit/holiday visa should be tagged in some way. F*ck all the do gooners that harp on about human rights, what about these poor children that are either going to be left without a father or in fear of being abducted!!!! S H I T close the doors......... :(
 

skele

Well-Known Member
#51
I used to think that Truly was a bit harsh! But the more I meet or know of Tunisian men the more disgusted I become. A sweeping generalisation obviously because they're not all bad. (My husband is honest, good, kind and pretty much awesome! And he got the papers he needed two years ago, so you don't have to worry about me being deluded. :) ) Why are so many people from one small country so bad, their families go along with their deceptions so it's not just the men. And the girls who wait for the guys to come back and marry them when they've got papers are just as bad. What is it?!!! And what about 'your mother, your mother, your mother' from Islam? Doesn't apply to the mother of your child? Sickens me.
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
#52
If you go back to when I joined t.com many moons ago ;) so long ago I'm mouldy ;) :D I stated then and still stand by it, nothing will change in Tunisia who ever is in power until the women change. Wife's allow husbands to cheat be violent etc, sons witness this and follow suit, daughters witness this and allow the same and so it goes on........ (generalising)
 

skele

Well-Known Member
#53
And their mothers do everything for them or make their sisters do it and so they expect women to do everything. And they tell them that men come first!!!
And the women are the first to judge other women, when there was a big gang rape the women were all saying those girls came here for sex and got it.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#54
I actually think the women are just as bad as the men at times, and it's not till their attitudes change can anything change. As has been said the husbands/sons are mollycoddled and almost revered and the wives/daughters very much play 2nd fiddle. That's their norm!!! And it's the women who continually perpetuate this cycle. I'm sick of hearing people making excuses for them because of culture blah blah blah and that we are looking at it through 'European' eyes...what a load of tosh....decency, morals, self respect and dignity AREN'T or SHOULDN'T be a 'European' thing. We have a few Tunisian male members on here who could teach some of their fellow Tunisians a thing or to. Yes we are generalising, there are exceptions to the rule. My hubby is great around the house and in the kitchen and doesn't consider it my domain (thank god), he certainly treats me as his equal and not his surf but he was very fortunately brought up in a household where his father had and still has the utmost respect and dare I say LOVE for his wife..no marriage of convenience for them.

What cracks me up though is how these men we are talking about do what they do in the name of their family, to better their families lives as well....ok forget about the wife that maybe they've conned in order to achieve their goals, maybe she'll never be considered family, she's not blood related, but a child that they have?????
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
#55
And their mothers do everything for them or make their sisters do it and so they expect women to do everything. And they tell them that men come first!!!
And the women are the first to judge other women, when there was a big gang rape the women were all saying those girls came here for sex and got it.
If women act like this they will never be on an equal footing.
 

dgouda

New Member
#57
Hello

Thank you all for your concern but I am 100% better now. I feel really bad now re-reading what I wrote I painted him in a really bad light!
I have been suffering for many years with depression and small problems seem so much bigger in my mind.
What I have learnt is that if you keep things inside yourself then small normal arguments seem like major issues.
My husband has been really supportive of me even though I have been acting like a *****, he really is a fanstatic man if not I would have been left a long time ago!
In regards to him taking the children away from me he didn't actually SAY he would in my paranoid state I thought its what he said. Hes loves his children a great deal and would not do anything that would cause them harm and that does include taking them away from me. You know in the old cartoons when you have a angle and devil whispering in your ear well in my case the devil was the loudest! These fears were completly unfounded.
They say time is a great healer but also talking is! I feel so much better now that I have released all the crap that was inside my head!!!!
Oh and I do want to add one more thing my husband did not marry me for paper, I didn't meet him on holiday he was settled here already!!!!
ADVICE TO ALL YOU SPOUSES....TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!! DON'T LET THINGS BUILD UP BEFORE IT GETS TO A POINT WERE ITS HARD TO TURN BACK!!
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#58
Hello

Thank you all for your concern but I am 100% better now. I feel really bad now re-reading what I wrote I painted him in a really bad light!
I have been suffering for many years with depression and small problems seem so much bigger in my mind.
What I have learnt is that if you keep things inside yourself then small normal arguments seem like major issues.
My husband has been really supportive of me even though I have been acting like a *****, he really is a fanstatic man if not I would have been left a long time ago!
In regards to him taking the children away from me he didn't actually SAY he would in my paranoid state I thought its what he said. Hes loves his children a great deal and would not do anything that would cause them harm and that does include taking them away from me. You know in the old cartoons when you have a angle and devil whispering in your ear well in my case the devil was the loudest! These fears were completly unfounded.
They say time is a great healer but also talking is! I feel so much better now that I have released all the crap that was inside my head!!!!
Oh and I do want to add one more thing my husband did not marry me for paper, I didn't meet him on holiday he was settled here already!!!!
ADVICE TO ALL YOU SPOUSES....TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!! DON'T LET THINGS BUILD UP BEFORE IT GETS TO A POINT WERE ITS HARD TO TURN BACK!!
I'm glad that you're feeling a bit better about things Dgouda, I really am, and I'm sorry that you suffer with depression. However I'm really sorry but it doesn't alter one of the things that you've said about your husband, that he's hit you twice!!!. I hope you know what you're doing. Take care. X
 

dgouda

New Member
#59
Hit is the wrong word to describe it..makes it sound if he punched me far from it!!!
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#60
Hit, slap, punch, push...doesn't make much difference to me. I hope that you're not ignoring signs that are there and putting everything down to depression on your part. You need to take care of yourself and your children. Xx
 
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