I met this gorgeous tunisian boy

MistFreezes

New Member
#1
Hello,
I am fairly new in Tunis, 2 months. I am 24 and I met this gorgeous boy, 24 (a few months older than me)
He claims to love me but I am quite skeptical about it because I have only known him for almost a month now.
We met in my neighbourhood and we hang out everyday, almost.
And, I have made my stance clear, no sex and we fight about that a lot because he wants to. Then we forget about it and chat/cook together after.
I am of African descent (brown skinned) and I am not going to be in Tunis for long.

Please do give me your thoughts.
 
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MO2915

Member
#2
Hello,
I am fairly new in Tunis, 2 months. I am 24 and I met this gorgeous boy, 24 (a few months older than me)
He claims to love me but I am quite skeptical about it because I have only known him for almost a month now.
We met in my neighbourhood and we hang out everyday, almost.
And, I have made my stance clear, no sex and we fight about that a lot because he wants to. Then we forget about it and chat/cook together after.
I am of African descent (brown skinned) and I am not going to be in Tunis for long.

Please do give me your thoughts.
I think that you're both too young and can fall in love quickly and may change your minds faster than you both think. I guess you're smitten too, that's why you're posting here.
Sexwise, Tunisian girls are supposedly virgins until they get married but that's a very long debate. I am very outdated in Tunisian life though having been away for so long. Sex is not the main factor in any long lasting relationship anywhere and I believe the same old rules apply. A boyfriend should understand that no sex means no sex and you shouldn't fight over it and vice versa.

You mention that you're of African descent but that should be irrelevant. Love has no colours. If he loves you then he can wait but then you say you're not going to be there for long. So stop teasing the guy and be straight and honest with him.
 

MistFreezes

New Member
#3
I think that you're both too young and can fall in love quickly and may change your minds faster than you both think. I guess you're smitten too, that's why you're posting here.
Sexwise, Tunisian girls are supposedly virgins until they get married but that's a very long debate. I am very outdated in Tunisian life though having been away for so long. Sex is not the main factor in any long lasting relationship anywhere and I believe the same old rules apply. A boyfriend should understand that no sex means no sex and you shouldn't fight over it and vice versa.

You mention that you're of African descent but that should be irrelevant. Love has no colours. If he loves you then he can wait but then you say you're not going to be there for long. So stop teasing the guy and be straight and honest with him.
Honestly, he is really sweet with quite the adorable personality so I am quite smitten.
That's true, I believe sex is sacred in a relationship and only comes along when you're both ready. But we have had days when that led to heated debates but atleast there was the laugh afterwards.
I thought the same thing, that my skin colour shouldn't matter. Until, I was told that we "black girls" are often seen as sex toys in the Tunisian society. That was when I started being a bit hesitant. And if I consider his urge to get intimate with me, I am slowly believing it's true.
Plus, he knows how long I am going to be in Tunisia for
 

Sif

New Member
#4
"So stop teasing the guy and be straight and honest with him" seems to be informed by a wrong assumption when she "made my stance clear, no sex", If just spending time together doesn't do it for him, then he is free to leave.
 

MistFreezes

New Member
#5
"So stop teasing the guy and be straight and honest with him" seems to be informed by a wrong assumption when she "made my stance clear, no sex", If just spending time together doesn't do it for him, then he is free to leave.
He is definitely free to leave. As unpleasant as the thought is.. Thank you
 

MO2915

Member
#6
This is turning into a hilarious tabloid agony aunt sex stuff. To be honest, who cares if you have sex with him or not? That’s your choice whether he’s Tunisian or not.

But saying the stuff below raises so many questions about racial prejudice in Tunisia and I believe that it should be tackled and eliminated even though it still exists here too. Good luck.

“I thought the same thing, that my skin colour shouldn't matter. Until, I was told that we "black girls" are often seen as sex toys in the Tunisian society. That was when I started being a bit hesitant. And if I consider his urge to get intimate with me, I am slowly believing it's true.”

First, like here in the UK whether you’re black or not, a female or another gender, you’re a sex toy to many unless you value yourself.

A man for example wanting sex often doesn’t care about race or colour, especially at the end of a boozing night.

A Tunisian, British or a monkey will often want sex regardless. That’s nature.

Then you say you’re becoming hesitant! Really? From posting yesterday that he’s sweet wanting sex to racial issues today is going over the top.

“"black girls" are often seen as sex toys in the Tunisian society”

That is a big statement as if all Tunisians are all white.

Kris, if you want traffic find a better way instead of teasing your members.
 
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MistFreezes

New Member
#7
This is turning into a hilarious tabloid agony aunt sex stuff. To be honest, who cares if you have sex with him or not? That’s your choice whether he’s Tunisian or not.

But saying the stuff below raises so many questions about racial prejudice in Tunisia and I believe that it should be tackled and eliminated even though it still exists here too. Good luck.

“I thought the same thing, that my skin colour shouldn't matter. Until, I was told that we "black girls" are often seen as sex toys in the Tunisian society. That was when I started being a bit hesitant. And if I consider his urge to get intimate with me, I am slowly believing it's true.”

First, like here in the UK whether you’re black or not, a female or another gender, you’re a sex toy to many unless you value yourself.

A man for example wanting sex often doesn’t care about race or colour, especially at the end of a boozing night.

A Tunisian, British or a monkey will often want sex regardless. That’s nature.

Then you say you’re becoming hesitant! Really? From posting yesterday that he’s sweet wanting sex to racial issues today is going over the top.

“"black girls" are often seen as sex toys in the Tunisian society”

That is a big statement as if all Tunisians are all white.

Kris, if you want traffic find a better way instead of teasing your members.
I don't think teasing members is the intention.
I did not intend to come across that way.
Please do understand that my concerns are genuine.
And I am really worried.

Maybe I need to clarify a few things.
1. I did not say I do not like him, I do
2. Becoming hesitant does not mean, you do not like someone. It means you become more careful when you spend time with them. And that is what I have become.
3. Please Google up "Tunisian men and African girls" and you will see where the statements came from
4. Have you ever tried to say no, to sexual advances and still someone tries to force you, to the point you have to "escape"?
5. I have dated guys before who would take no for an answer. The most we would do was make out, cuddle, watch movies and sex was not even a thing. With him, my "no" was a "hold on, for 5 seconds".
6. And, I don't think sex is the best way to get to know the person you want to be with.

But it's fine now, we parted ways yesterday because I still held my ground. I did not have sex with him.

I am sorry that my concerns are not as big to you. I am just trying to find a way through the dynamic of this country. And I thought I could get some help here.
 

MO2915

Member
#8
“I thought the same thing, that my skin colour shouldn't matter. Until, I was told that we "black girls" are often seen as sex toys in the Tunisian society. That was when I started being a bit hesitant. And if I consider his urge to get intimate with me, I am slowly believing it's true.”

“in the Tunisian society”+ “I am slowly believing it's true.”: Your judgemental statement means that all Tunisians including my whole family, friends and all the people I know in Tunisia are guilty because of your fling with a boy who has a nonstop hard on. Excuse my French. That’s ridiculous, ignorant and insulting to all of us Tunisians. The same goes here in the UK. Black people are often blamed for a lot of things. Does that include you, your family and friends?

“But it's fine now, we parted ways yesterday because I still held my ground. I did not have sex with him.”

He doesn’t deserve you, you live and learn.

“I am sorry that my concerns are not as big to you. I am just trying to find a way through the dynamic of this country. And I thought I could get some help here.”

Your concerns are indeed big to me because I am proud of Tunisia and I want to help my country thus I would gladly help anyone within reason of course. But I hate generalisation. Also, there are other people that can help you here too. I am just a member of this site.

I don’t doubt that some or a lot of black Tunisians are treated unfairly and differently, but that needs to stop once for all. And if you’re concerned you need to use social media or whatever means to influence this and support black Tunisians to overcome their dilemmas there. They need you.

I’ve seen some TV soaps dealing with this issue to educate people and there may be some legislation to tackle this. I am not sure. But it is not enough.

Just to say, I grew up with black, ginger, white etc. friends, some of my relatives including my brother are married to black people (shades depend on sun exposure). But black means nothing to us cos Tunisians are all a shade of black because we’re African living in a hot country. I am not white or black nor yellow or red but in the UK, I've been called coloured (as if I am a chameleon) but mainly called black too and many times treated unfairly. C’est la vie. One has to fight prejudice.

Do I then call all the British racist? NO. Most British people are not.

I wish you all the best.
 

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
#9
This is turning into a hilarious tabloid agony aunt sex stuff. To be honest, who cares if you have sex with him or not? That’s your choice whether he’s Tunisian or not.

But saying the stuff below raises so many questions about racial prejudice in Tunisia and I believe that it should be tackled and eliminated even though it still exists here too. Good luck.

“I thought the same thing, that my skin colour shouldn't matter. Until, I was told that we "black girls" are often seen as sex toys in the Tunisian society. That was when I started being a bit hesitant. And if I consider his urge to get intimate with me, I am slowly believing it's true.”

First, like here in the UK whether you’re black or not, a female or another gender, you’re a sex toy to many unless you value yourself.

A man for example wanting sex often doesn’t care about race or colour, especially at the end of a boozing night.

A Tunisian, British or a monkey will often want sex regardless. That’s nature.

Then you say you’re becoming hesitant! Really? From posting yesterday that he’s sweet wanting sex to racial issues today is going over the top.

“"black girls" are often seen as sex toys in the Tunisian society”

That is a big statement as if all Tunisians are all white.

Kris, if you want traffic find a better way instead of teasing your members.
I missed the part where this is anything to do with me?
 
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MO2915

Member
#10
I missed the part where this is anything to do with me?
Apologies Kris, I overdid that one. OP going from sex to racial issues seemed odd and I thought it was a windup.
 
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