Letter from Father - now needing a stamp!!!

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
Hi Nela

From what I've been told, Orfi 'marriages' are still done in Egypt but are illegal in Tunisia.

Is it a bit like the 'common law situation' we have in the UK only with paperwork to allow a couple to live together outside of marriage?
 

Tunisianbelle

Well-Known Member
My understanding is that ORFI marriages are illegal in Egypt as well, yet they are more common place there as it is allowed to have more than one wife in Egypt.
 

benali123

Member
I go again with my children to Tunisia and my hubby will be staying in the UK. I will DEFINITELY be making sure I have the STAMPED LETTER this time. There is no way on earth, do I want to go through what i went through before.

Thanks for your well wishes regarding Katie. The difference in her has been amazing. She can start swimming now so is pleased about that (had a check up last week), though we are looking at more surgery in the form of costoplasty (where they break the ribs) as she still has rib hump, but this will be done when she has stopped growing! Katie wasnt too impressed about it, but it will be her choice, and at 16/17/18 years old, she may want it rather than have rib hump! Only time wil tell!! One thing is certain - she is greatly looking forward to her holiday -as we all are!!! Claire xx
 

mand3366

New Member
I think far more women should do some research before marrying and contemplating children, especially concerning marrying someone from a different culture.
Unfortunately, most women seem to think that being British gives them immunity from the laws of the country their partners/husbands come from.
Sorry if this upsets anyone, that certainly isnt my intention. Being informed and knowing the worst case scenarios at least prepares you in advance, should the worse happen.

M x
 

MellieC

Well-Known Member
My understanding is that ORFI marriages are illegal in Egypt as well, yet they are more common place there as it is allowed to have more than one wife in Egypt.
I saw soemthing on an egyptian site, similar site to this, and its going on! the people on the site/forum were not happy about it!
 

Tunisianbelle

Well-Known Member
I saw soemthing on an egyptian site, similar site to this, and its going on! the people on the site/forum were not happy about it!
I know it's going on. I said it is more common place there, but just because it is more common place doesn't make it any more legal, and from my understanding, it is illegal in Egypt as well.
 

Jenny

Well-Known Member
I think far more women should do some research before marrying and contemplating children, especially concerning marrying someone from a different culture.
Unfortunately, most women seem to think that being British gives them immunity from the laws of the country their partners/husbands come from.
Sorry if this upsets anyone, that certainly isnt my intention. Being informed and knowing the worst case scenarios at least prepares you in advance, should the worse happen.

M x
I think that's an good idea. I acctually had a leagal consultation with my tunisian/swedish solicitor before I got married just to get to know the differences in family law between Tunisia and Sweden in case we would have children. But at that time I never thought I would like to divorce so soon after the wedding:rolleyes:
 

mand3366

New Member
If only we could all see what the future holds............!!!

M x
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
Found this reference on the net:

Orfi marriage, is not a "paper" marriage, its usually done in cases such as....a man and a woman may want to have sexual relations without committing a sin...in Islam...or a couple want to marry, but their parents will not accept the marriage between the two, so it is done in secret. Orfi marriages to most middle eastern women are looked down upon for its an insult, its not a publicly noted marriage, a secret marriage.
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
My 7 your old daughter is an American with a Tunsian father. We are in the process of finalizing our divorce and he has intentions of moving back to Tunisia. He has asked that we visit and I was considering it but I think its best if we stay put in the states and let him come here to see our daughter.
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
But its ok if the Tunisian father wants to keep the children there!!!!??? If the mother was trying to leave without his permission I would say 99% of the time it would be for a good reason :mad: :mad:
Exactly what I was thinking it seems unfair. So If my ex husband decides that he does not want to let my daughter come back to the USA with me even though she is an American citizen he can detain her. I guess she can go to Tunisia when she is an adult!
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
its islamic ~ mum is not the primary carer, dad is!
Well my ex husband must not be following islam because I am the primary caregiver both financially and emotionally. I pay for her education, the mortgage,her clothes, health insurance, food. So if I decide to pay for a trip to Tunisia for my daughter and myself, I should not need permission from her father to bring her back to the country of her birth place. It is ashame because I really wanted my daughter to visit Tunisia but after reading this I have made up my mind and will not be visiting after all. I will not take the chance of leaving my daughter behind in a foreign land. I will teach her the most I can about her Tunisian culture as well as her Puerto Rican culture which is where I am from and if her dad does decide to move back to Tunisia he can come to the United States to visit her. I am praying that he decides to stay here because it would be the right thing to do.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
Exactly what I was thinking it seems unfair. So If my ex husband decides that he does not want to let my daughter come back to the USA with me even though she is an American citizen he can detain her. I guess she can go to Tunisia when she is an adult!
I've replied on another thread Enith..lol. But yes I agree.
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
Stay put In the states Enith with your daughter. She is not classed as an adult until she is 20years old in Tunisia!!!!!!! Your ex would have the right to deny her to leave Tunisia until then.

Be extremely careful as I have said before when they don't get their own way they can become violent, spiteful to the point where he may just take your daughter back to Tunisia without your knowledge/permission. Even if he abducts her you will NOT be able to get her back. Your Embassy is powerless and would be any order you have in place in the US..


Welcome to the forum.
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
Well my ex husband must not be following islam because I am the primary caregiver both financially and emotionally. I pay for her education, the mortgage,her clothes, health insurance, food. So if I decide to pay for a trip to Tunisia for my daughter and myself, I should not need permission from her father to bring her back to the country of her birth place. It is ashame because I really wanted my daughter to visit Tunisia but after reading this I have made up my mind and will not be visiting after all. I will not take the chance of leaving my daughter behind in a foreign land. I will teach her the most I can about her Tunisian culture as well as her Puerto Rican culture which is where I am from and if her dad does decide to move back to Tunisia he can come to the United States to visit her. I am praying that he decides to stay here because it would be the right thing to do.
Welcome to the forum Enith.

You've made a very sensible decision regarding your daughter, best not to take any chances.
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
Yes it may be sensible but I do have to say I am disappointed! Her father assures me that it would not be a problem and that he would provide a letter with a stamp so she could travel back home. Obviously there is a trust factor between us which is why we we are getting a divorce. Thank You for all of the information, it was very helpful in making my decision.
Welcome to the forum Enith.

You've made a very sensible decision regarding your daughter, best not to take any chances.[/quo
 

janette

Well-Known Member
Yes it may be sensible but I do have to say I am disappointed! Her father assures me that it would not be a problem and that he would provide a letter with a stamp so she could travel back home. Obviously there is a trust factor between us which is why we we are getting a divorce. Thank You for all of the information, it was very helpful in making my decision.
Enith, even if you could guarantee that he would write that letter of authority, there is always the chance that his parents would want the child there and insist the child stays -- and he would likely agree to that --- that has happened more than once with the mother having to stay in Tunisia to be near her child. Please be careful. Personally, I would never risk it. x
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
Stay put In the states Enith with your daughter. She is not classed as an adult until she is 20years old in Tunisia!!!!!!! Your ex would have the right to deny her to leave Tunisia until then.

Be extremely careful as I have said before when they don't get their own way they can become violent, spiteful to the point where he may just take your daughter back to Tunisia without your knowledge/permission. Even if he abducts her you will NOT be able to get her back. Your Embassy is powerless and would be any order you have in place in the US..


Welcome to the forum.
Yes I will not be visiting Tunisia! I don't know his mother but I do know that she could influence his decision in keeping my daughter there. It is interesting that in the USA there is a whole list f documents that must be presented for a minor under the age of 16 to receive a passport and in order for the child to travel outside of the US with one parent they must have a notorized statement of consent from the other parent for the child to travel abroad, so he can not leave the USA with her without that form. He now uses a US passport as well. Since I am the primary custodial parent, his vistation is bi-weekly, I have asked my attorney today to make certain provisions in our parenting agreement. One of them is that vistation be supervised, will see how the judge rules but my attorney does not think it will be a problem under the circumstances. What suprises me is that in my country it does not matter if you are the mother or father. If you are a father traveling with your child the mother must give consent and vice versa. Why the double standard in Tunisia? Can an American father leave Tunisia with his child without consent of the Tunisian mother or does he need a stamped letter as well? Just wondering!
 

huttan

Well-Known Member
Well you mean for a US passport? He can easy get an Tunisian passport on his own...thats how they leave without the mother knowing until its to late.(if they havnt changed any rules lately?) If he is thinking of going back dont leave your child without supervision and make sure school knows he is not allowed to pick her up there...I would never let my child walk to school on her own in a situation like this ...I would drive to leave and pick up just to be sure.Maybe I missed out some details going thru all quickly here now...
 

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
This is a shame technically i could murder my family, technically I could molest the kids......but I dont and neither do 99% of regular folk.

Its such a shame that because of the lack of trust and the possibility of parental abduction good Tunisian guys are going to miss out on access and also their families if they have to go back to Tunisia for work.

Such a depressing thread..... its all factual but such a shame and no doubt the flight risk is taken into account when such decisions are made in countries outside Tunisia in cases of divorce/custody.

I have a close relative with a child outside of marriage he is supervised its not nice going to a centre and not being able to take your child to the sea side or have a slice of normality. Its like being guilty before you are proved innocent :-(
 
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