Letter from Father - now needing a stamp!!!

huttan

Well-Known Member
Thats true Kris...and its a shame that you cant trust people.

If man and woman would be counted as equal...and if it would be possible to make a court decide whats fair to the child even in Tunisia the situation would probably be very different.

If the court looked at the childs best instead things would be very different.This thing with that the child is Tunisian "end of story" and what the man says is what counts first...is a huge problem.They should consider the best for the child and if its with the father in China or mother in Tunisia or vice versa shouldnt matter-only who takes best care of the child.

Now it all ends up with a situation there the child loose a great part of what could been a big part of life growing up too. Its to sad really.
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
Well you mean for a US passport? He can easy get an Tunisian passport on his own...thats how they leave without the mother knowing until its to late.(if they havnt changed any rules lately?) If he is thinking of going back dont leave your child without supervision and make sure school knows he is not allowed to pick her up there...I would never let my child walk to school on her own in a situation like this ...I would drive to leave and pick up just to be sure.Maybe I missed out some details going thru all quickly here now...
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
This is a shame technically i could murder my family, technically I could molest the kids......but I dont and neither do 99% of regular folk.

Its such a shame that because of the lack of trust and the possibility of parental abduction good Tunisian guys are going to miss out on access and also their families if they have to go back to Tunisia for work.

Such a depressing thread..... its all factual but such a shame and no doubt the flight risk is taken into account when such decisions are made in countries outside Tunisia in cases of divorce/custody.

I have a close relative with a child outside of marriage he is supervised its not nice going to a centre and not being able to take your child to the sea side or have a slice of normality. Its like being guilty before you are proved innocent :-(
Will first of all my ex-husband, is hardly involved in my daughters life. My daughter is lucky if we see him twice month. He has been inconsistent in paying child support so he barely contributes to her financial security, if I went to Tunisia on vacation the expense would fall on me. Secondly I met and married him in this country 9 years ago and he never had any intention of leaving the US to go back to Tunisia, this is a recent thing. My doors are always open to him so that he could come and spend time with his daughter but he is always to busy. My daughter is an American, she was born and raised here. She does not speak Arabic because he has not taken the opportunity to teach her. He can have supervised visitation in my home with my family which is what my attorney is requesting. Also if Tunisia was on the list of countries for Hague Abduction Convention the treaty where countries work together to solve child abduction cases I may consider going. If a child is abducted and brought in to the USA from another country there is a process in place to help the other parent who may reside in another country locate his child and have him returned. I need to ensure that my daughter stays in the States alongside me and my family. Again his family is welcomed to come and meet her if they like and while I will continue to encourage the relationship between my child and her dad I will be vigilant. His recent insistence of returning to Tunisia is concerning.
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member

Well you mean for a US passport? He can easy get an Tunisian passport on his own...thats how they leave without the mother knowing until its to late.(if they havnt changed any rules lately?) If he is thinking of going back dont leave your child without supervision and make sure school knows he is not allowed to pick her up there...I would never let my child walk to school on her own in a situation like this ...I would drive to leave and pick up just to be sure.Maybe I missed out some details going thru all quickly here now...
Yes I meant for a Tunisian passport. He would have to go to a Tunisian embassay here in the States to obtain a passport for our child, correct? Fortunately, there is not a Tunisian Embassy in our state but I guess that does not matter. I drive my daughter to school every morning and my mother picks her up in the afternoon because I am working. She also stays with my mom if I have a business trip. Her father does not know where she attends school because he really is not that involved in her life. I am putting her on the childrens passport issuance alert program and changing my custody agreement. It is a crime a federal crime in the US under the International Parental Kidnapping Act to remove a child from the US without the other parents wishes however they do warn parents who have children with Tunisians to visit because once there we fall under the jurisdiction of Tunisian law. It is a shame that the best interest of the child is not taken into account.
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
Hi Enith

Do you have any thoughts on why he wants to return to Tunisia now?

How did he get to America in the first place? Was he married to someone else before you?
 

huttan

Well-Known Member
Yes I meant for a Tunisian passport. He would have to go to a Tunisian embassay here in the States to obtain a passport for our child, correct? Fortunately, there is not a Tunisian Embassy in our state but I guess that does not matter. I drive my daughter to school every morning and my mother picks her up in the afternoon because I am working. She also stays with my mom if I have a business trip. Her father does not know where she attends school because he really is not that involved in her life. I am putting her on the childrens passport issuance alert program and changing my custody agreement. It is a crime a federal crime in the US under the International Parental Kidnapping Act to remove a child from the US without the other parents wishes however they do warn parents who have children with Tunisians to visit because once there we fall under the jurisdiction of Tunisian law. It is a shame that the best interest of the child is not taken into account.
Hm well even if there isnt any Tunisian embassy its usually some part of an other country embassy working together for Tunisia then...like in Tunisia they dont have a Swedish embassy there-but they have a small consulate in the Finish(Finland) embassy there you still can do all stuff you need if being Swedish like me. Well others seem to have getting passports for their children and getting out so they need to get hold of it somewhere...
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
Hi Enith

Do you have any thoughts on why he wants to return to Tunisia now?

How did he get to America in the first place? Was he married to someone else before you?
He came to America on vacation and never returned. He was married for a short time before we met and he had been here about about 4 years prior to us meeting. He returned to Tunisia for the first time 3 years ago and has been going ever since for 2-3 months at a time. His father passed away before he came to America and he left his mom and 2 young sisters to fend for themselves. Now that he has returned and he is older I believe he feels guilty for leaving them behind so long ago and I believe they are urging him to return to take care of the family business and some legal isssues. Business is tough in the states at this time although I have always had a secure career and have been able to carry us through financially but now that he is on his own I guess it is tougher. I believe his responsiblity is here with his daughter and he can continue to visit his family but he insist on returning. He does say that it was difficult to get use to the different lifestyle in Tunisia. We were very much in love at one point but unfortunately things did not work out.
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
Hm well even if there isnt any Tunisian embassy its usually some part of an other country embassy working together for Tunisia then...like in Tunisia they dont have a Swedish embassy there-but they have a small consulate in the Finish(Finland) embassy there you still can do all stuff you need if being Swedish like me. Well others seem to have getting passports for their children and getting out so they need to get hold of it somewhere...
Yes I found the embassy is in Washington DC and New York City but there is a consulate in Miami which is only 45 minutes away. So yes he could very easily get a Tunisian passport for my daughter. Scary thought but I don't think he is inclined to do that. I believe if we travel to Tunisia that his family may influence him to keep our daughter there. That is my biggest concern that is way I am not going to take any chances.
 

huttan

Well-Known Member
No dont take any chances...

Well looks like they play the guilt card on him like many does in situations like this and yes they are responsible for their family from that point of view but it seems strange to me because he should make more money to support them from the US than going back(when it comes to money support)...

...maybe he met someone over there to continue his life with back at home (?) because who else would choose going back in times like this...hard to get jobs and not much payed...no something doesnt sound right in this.
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
No dont take any chances...

Well looks like they play the guilt card on him like many does in situations like this and yes they are responsible for their family from that point of view but it seems strange to me because he should make more money to support them from the US than going back(when it comes to money support)...

...maybe he met someone over there to continue his life with back at home (?) because who else would choose going back in times like this...hard to get jobs and not much payed...no something doesnt sound right in this.
His younger sister just got married , his mother is a professor of some kind and his older sister runs the business that they inherited from there father. The built a beautiful home several years ago so it seems that they are doing fine without him. He did not seem to comcerned and encourage his sisters to be independent. He says that is what he likes about American women but may be he has met someone. I also know that he has inherited some land and he is trying to sell it as well. It all seems very strange to me that he wants to go back.
 

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
You cannot take the chance the law is the problem.

I just dont understand why they cannot have an agreement where if the children are domiciled in x country that is where they live/return.

Or having an agreement which when signed is stuck to re who has the kids so you could take them to Tunisia with some security
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
You cannot take the chance the law is the problem.

I just dont understand why they cannot have an agreement where if the children are domiciled in x country that is where they live/return.

Or having an agreement which when signed is stuck to re who has the kids so you could take them to Tunisia with some security
Yes that would make things so much easier but apparently any document that is signed stating that will not be upheld in Tunisia if he decides not to let her come back. The law should be changed.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
Yes that would make things so much easier but apparently any document that is signed stating that will not be upheld in Tunisia if he decides not to let her come back. The law should be changed.
Sounds like you've done your homework though Enith...and I know if I was in your situation I wouldn't even consider taking my child over there. It's a sad fact that until such a time as Tunisia DOES acknowledge dual nationality and rights of Non Tunisian mothers people in your situation just cannot even consider taking the risk, hence many kids miss out on part of their history.

There are many people in your situation, people on this forum included who are divorced/married to Tunisian men (I'm married to one, but no kids) and its something that always has to be considered. We have threads on here with people who've had the same concerns as you. As you say though, your husband has hardly taken much parental responsibility for his daughter up to now, however that can change, especially when divorce rears its head and also once he maybe rediscovers his roots!!!!!
 

huttan

Well-Known Member
His younger sister just got married , his mother is a professor of some kind and his older sister runs the business that they inherited from there father. The built a beautiful home several years ago so it seems that they are doing fine without him. He did not seem to comcerned and encourage his sisters to be independent. He says that is what he likes about American women but may be he has met someone. I also know that he has inherited some land and he is trying to sell it as well. It all seems very strange to me that he wants to go back.
Well think more and more of this points to another woman...and some kind of wish going back to the roots...and might wanting his daughter to join this other kind of life with him and this new woman?Because like you say they seem to get on fine in his family without him...
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
Well think more and more of this points to another woman...and some kind of wish going back to the roots...and might wanting his daughter to join this other kind of life with him and this new woman?Because like you say they seem to get on fine in his family without him...
Yes that could be a possiblity. He can back in September and he seemed different. Usually he cannot wait to get back to the states. He denys having anyone in Tunisia and he has always been open about dating other woman once we got separated. So I don't know why he would keep it a secret however in the time we have been separated he was not in a rush to get divorced in fact there was a time that he wanted to reconcile. However this time around he was ready to get the divorce as soon as he step foot in the states. What ever the reason may be I am not going to Tunisia nor is my daughter. Thank you for all of the imput. I very much appreciate it.
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
Sounds like you've done your homework though Enith...and I know if I was in your situation I wouldn't even consider taking my child over there. It's a sad fact that until such a time as Tunisia DOES acknowledge dual nationality and rights of Non Tunisian mothers people in your situation just cannot even consider taking the risk, hence many kids miss out on part of their history.

There are many people in your situation, people on this forum included who are divorced/married to Tunisian men (I'm married to one, but no kids) and its something that always has to be considered. We have threads on here with people who've had the same concerns as you. As you say though, your husband has hardly taken much parental responsibility for his daughter up to now, however that can change, especially when divorce rears its head and also once he maybe rediscovers his roots!!!!!
Jane, you have a point things may change especially now that he has connected to his roots again. The threads and all of the information is what prompted me to do more research on the subject. I thank you for the information that you provided and will continue to do my best to protect my daughter.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
Jane, you have a point things may change especially now that he has connected to his roots again. The threads and all of the information is what prompted me to do more research on the subject. I thank you for the information that you provided and will continue to do my best to protect my daughter.
I'm sure you will do Enith...forewarned and all that. The very best of luck to you, do keep in touch and if there's anything anyone can do then please just shout. X
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
Enith if you have Facebook take a look at a page called "Return US Home" this is the real life story that I mentioned on the other thread.
 

Enith Maldonado

Active Member
I'm sure you will do Enith...forewarned and all that. The very best of luck to you, do keep in touch and if there's anything anyone can do then please just shout. X
Thank you Jane and the best of luck to you as well.
 
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