Male circumcision

huttan

Well-Known Member
Well Jane this is our culture , a lots of Arabic women got this experience and your hubbies too (include my self) nothing make us in danger , if i was married to European woman , sure my son must be circumsticed, he is a muslim , for the Christmas , we are in another country , all my friends ,neighbours celebrated this event and i will share the happiness with them by giving them my gifts , not really believe in, in the case i am in Tunisia sure not , no one celebrate the Christmas maybe the new year but no the xmas
Sure this is the muslim view...and your allowed to marry from different books...but the truth is if someone really would be deeply religious from another book - it would never fit hand in hand with the muslim point of view. The contrasts would be too HUGE....

People always say "oh Im not that religious" but when it comes a bit further...they might realize that the religious parts from growing up probably meant more than they thought. When the children arrives, they suddenly realizes that its a pretty big part of the culture too.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
Sure this is the muslim view...and your allowed to marry from different books...but the truth is if someone really would be deeply religious from another book - it would never fit hand in hand with the muslim point of view. The contrasts would be too HUGE....

People always say "oh Im not that religious" but when it comes a bit further...they might realize that the religious parts from growing up probably meant more than they thought. When the children arrives, they suddenly realizes that its a pretty big part of the culture too.
You're dead right there Huttan...a Muslim WOULD automatically assume that any child they had was born a Muslim however a non Muslim wouldn't necessarily have the same view, as they themselves aren't Muslims!! And Tiffjays situation right now is one that many of us could potentially face, and it shows that even though it was something that was talked about before marriage, when the situation becomes a reality then things can change!
 

salim

Well-Known Member
This is a big part of our culture , religion ! The boy is Muslim as his father is a Muslim ! Don't forget that in our book the Muslim woman should not get married to another man who is not a Muslim but in the other book the woman has her choice to do what she want !And when we talk "i am not so religious" that's mean he is not a " practicing Muslim" , but in the end his is Muslim and he must do what our book advice us to do !
 

tiffjay

Active Member
Good morning Tiffjay I am also very sorry to hear that your husband walked out. Tiffjay I won't sit here and lie to you and say that my son was not circumsticed because he was and that was a painful day for both of us as we felt that we was harming him but don't ask it was done.
I have been lucky in the way that if I want to go to church with my mum lets say then my husband don't and won't say a thing as he says that he respects everyones choices and so do I respect peoples religion and choices but that does not mean that there won't be a christmas tree in our house as there will be and always has been,infact I am taking one to Tunisia with me this year.
Your husband done a very stupid thing by walking out, he could have gone for a walk to clear his head and then come back to discuss things through after all what will that solve NOTHING,, My children have both been to church with me or their grandmother infact my husband always collects her from church.
I really do feel for you Tiffjay because the fact is that you spoke about this before you married your husband.. He may cool down and come back but you still both need to sort it out. I wish you all the luck because it should have been a joyful moment hearing what gender you was having and instead of celebrating you are now feeling down which is not good for you. We are all hear just like Jane said if you need anything we are all here, take care:)
hi Roulla thank you for your reply im glad you have compromise in your marriage. wish my marriage had that kind of compromise i feel like i need to make a stand now as my husband wont compromise on anything where my son is concerned i respect my husband and his religion.
 

ROULLA

Registered User
hi Roulla thank you for your reply im glad you have compromise in your marriage. wish my marriage had that kind of compromise i feel like i need to make a stand now as my husband wont compromise on anything where my son is concerned i respect my husband and his religion.
Tiffjay you are right you do need to make a stand if that is how you feel and only you know what buttons to press when talking to your husband. I always think that rules if you like should be set on the table from the begining so that everything is clear and if one person in that relationship changes his or her mind then they need to think back and remember what they said from the begining.The thing is that if you don't make a stand then your relationship will always be like that no one knowing what is what..Maybe when all the children are in bed then you two can talk things through and explain to eachother what it is that you both want and set the rules there and then because I know when I want something I just go for it.:)
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
hi Roulla thank you for your reply im glad you have compromise in your marriage. wish my marriage had that kind of compromise i feel like i need to make a stand now as my husband wont compromise on anything where my son is concerned i respect my husband and his religion.
Sorry to hear this Tiffjay and sounds like your hb hass no respect for you, his pregnant wife, or your beliefs to walk out on you at such a time.

At the end of the day, we are seen as infidels - that's never going to change in some eyes.
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
Tiffjay you are right you do need to make a stand if that is how you feel and only you know what buttons to press when talking to your husband. I always think that rules if you like should be set on the table from the begining so that everything is clear and if one person in that relationship changes his or her mind then they need to think back and remember what they said from the begining.The thing is that if you don't make a stand then your relationship will always be like that no one knowing what is what..Maybe when all the children are in bed then you two can talk things through and explain to eachother what it is that you both want and set the rules there and then because I know when I want something I just go for it.:)
But some people will say and do what they want till they get what they want then move the goalposts to suit themselves.

Imagine depriving little children of Christmas and Santa - shameful and narrowminded.
 

ROULLA

Registered User
But some people will say and do what they want till they get what they want then move the goalposts to suit themselves.

Imagine depriving little children of Christmas and Santa - shameful and narrowminded.
Essem he does not know it yet but I am going to get him a father xmas outfit for xmas just for the kids;)I want to be mummy christmas:D
 

salim

Well-Known Member
Essem he does not know it yet but I am going to get him a father xmas outfit for xmas just for the kids;)I want to be mummy christmas:D
:DI loved your comment , so funny "mummy christmas"
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
Essem he does not know it yet but I am going to get him a father xmas outfit for xmas just for the kids;)I want to be mummy christmas:D
I've got one here you could have Roulla - you usually can buy them in Celio stores. xx
 

ROULLA

Registered User
I've got one here you could have Roulla - you usually can buy them in Celio stores. xx
Maybe if you think that it will fit him he can wear it in Tunisia when we go to see the children and you can take some photos. I will need to buy one for here so that he wears it for xmas day when all the children are here x x x
 

huttan

Well-Known Member
This is a big part of our culture , religion ! The boy is Muslim as his father is a Muslim ! Don't forget that in our book the Muslim woman should not get married to another man who is not a Muslim but in the other book the woman has her choice to do what she want !And when we talk "i am not so religious" that's mean he is not a " practicing Muslim" , but in the end his is Muslim and he must do what our book advice us to do !
I know Salim...but think about it and turn it around...a european woman saying Im not that religious but in the end the religion thru culture made a bigger impact than anyone first thought....so for a european it might be really hard to let go of the values of Christmas - respect should go both ways.

...and actually sure every muslim says their child will be muslim no matter what...but the mother of the child- the woman could take off from the man, bringing up the child alone with christian values if there´s no respect from both way-why should a woman expect to be driven over by a man when she´s not muslim her self?Just meaning a european woman might in the end-choose the child and say bye bye to her husband...if the husband doesnt agree with some things about sharing some things...

I know many stories from mixed marriages there men agrees to many things BEFORE marriage...because in the end they still think all will be "their way"-all the way....anyway...just as well as many woman says their "open minded" and later it will be like "woups" didnt think of....how much different it could be with different opinions. Nothing creates more conflicts than different religions...all over the world.

Im just trying to explain the different views here nothing personal....
 

salim

Well-Known Member
I know Salim...but think about it and turn it around...a european woman saying Im not that religious but in the end the religion thru culture made a bigger impact than anyone first thought....so for a european it might be really hard to let go of the values of Christmas - respect should go both ways.

...and actually sure every muslim says their child will be muslim no matter what...but the mother of the child- the woman could take off from the man, bringing up the child alone with christian values if there´s no respect from both way-why should a woman expect to be driven over by a man when she´s not muslim her self?Just meaning a european woman might in the end-choose the child and say bye bye to her husband...if the husband doesnt agree with some things about sharing some things...

I know many stories from mixed marriages there men agrees to many things BEFORE marriage...because in the end they still think all will be "their way"-all the way....anyway...just as well as many woman says their "open minded" and later it will be like "woups" didnt think of....how much different it could be with different opinions. Nothing creates more conflicts than different religions...all over the world.

Im just trying to explain the different views here nothing personal....
The boy is a muslim so he must do this ! nothing to add or to discuss
 

huttan

Well-Known Member
The boy is a muslim so he must do this ! nothing to add or to discuss
This is exactly what I mean.....muslim way or the highway-no compromises !!! (Well in 99% when it all comes up)

Well you dont need to add or discuss...this is a general discussion about why and that why I say-religion often make conflicts....and the subjects is hard to discuss in general, because people often takes it personally.

As an example you say the boy IS muslim no matter what - well a christian could answer you-yeah 50%...and mean that the other part is 50% christian and therefor has just as much right to be christian as muslim by own choice -IF you would put it from another point of view(european view).
 

salim

Well-Known Member
This is exactly what I mean.....muslim way or the highway-no compromises !!! (Well in 99% when it all comes up)

Well you dont need to add or discuss...this is a general discussion about why and that why I say-religion often make conflicts....and the subjects is hard to discuss in general, because people often takes it personally.

As an example you say the boy IS muslim no matter what - well a christian could answer you-yeah 50%...and mean that the other part is 50% christian and therefor has just as much right to be christian as muslim by own choice -IF you would put it from another point of view(european view).
nothing to add
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
The boy is a muslim so he must do this ! nothing to add or to discuss
I have to agree with Huttan here Salim, obviously you think this because you are a Muslim and your faith dictates that HOWEVER if say for example I had a child with my husband then I would NOT automatically assume that any child of mine was a Muslim purely because his father is, that's because I'm not a Muslim and do not follow your book. I am a Christian and MY faith does not take second place to any other religion.

This is where conflicts arise, people have to accept other people's viewpoints the world over, I appreciate and understand your perspective however it IS something that as a Christian I do not feel is a no debate no question no argument end of situation. Who knows if/when that time should ever arise I may CHOOSE for any child of mine to be Muslim, if for nothing else but a quiet life, however any child that I have will have as much right to be a Christian as a Muslim, simply because I don't have the same faith as a Muslim therefore what the Qaran dictates doesn't affect my life.

Not getting at you personally here Salim, just showing, like Huttan a different viewpoint.
 

salim

Well-Known Member
I have to agree with Huttan here Salim, obviously you think this because you are a Muslim and your faith dictates that HOWEVER if say for example I had a child with my husband then I would NOT automatically assume that any child of mine was a Muslim purely because his father is, that's because I'm not a Muslim and do not follow your book. I am a Christian and MY faith does not take second place to any other religion.

This is where conflicts arise, people have to accept other people's viewpoints the world over, I appreciate and understand your perspective however it IS something that as a Christian I do not feel is a no debate no question no argument end of situation. Who knows if/when that time should ever arise I may CHOOSE for any child of mine to be Muslim, if for nothing else but a quiet life, however any child that I have will have as much right to be a Christian as a Muslim, simply because I don't have the same faith as a Muslim therefore what the Qaran dictates doesn't affect my life.

Not getting at you personally here Salim, just showing, like Huttan a different viewpoint.
I know Jane but this our religion and how we believe and anyone have the right to make his choice in the end !Seems not in relationship with second or first place , we believe in all the other religions, i won't to enter in details Jane , anyone can make his own search and he can understand how and why !
 

Scottochott

Well-Known Member
This is a big part of our culture , religion ! The boy is Muslim as his father is a Muslim ! Don't forget that in our book the Muslim woman should not get married to another man who is not a Muslim but in the other book the woman has her choice to do what she want !And when we talk "i am not so religious" that's mean he is not a " practicing Muslim" , but in the end his is Muslim and he must do what our book advice us to do !
With all due respect Salim you are thinking from your perspective only. A child born in a Christian country to a Christian mother will be assumed by us to be a Christian, especially as in this case a discussion was had, and agreement reached that the child would be taught about both religions and allowed to make his/her mind up when old enough. Eminently sensible in my opinion but as has been shown, the actual reality may change things. I understand how things would be viewed in Tunisia but this is not the same as a European view.
 
Top