Marriages with Culture/language difference

Milk

Well-Known Member
#1
I was wondering how do you come to except and live with someone who has a huge culture difference...

They speak a language that you don't understand in front of family/friends even though you may have asked him to speak english? OK, I understand that one should learn the language but doesn't it get fustrating not to be able to understand and then how do you handle it?

When mingling with friends how do you get to socialize when your with his friends ( and their speaking in their language) with no other females around for you to talk to, or does this even occure?

If you are visiting as a couple with another couple how do you handle it if their speaking in their language and you don't understand? Do you stop going on visits with him if it doesn't stop? What if he doesn't speak up to friends and ask them to speak english in front of you? (but then their is no real socialization within the marriage and I can see lots of problems arising)

How do you work with/incorporate their religion believes with yours?
 

huttan

Well-Known Member
#2
I think if meeting as a couple with another couple and they can speak english...its almost rude if they dont. Sure some sentence might slip over, but you should feel you join the conversation.If they dont speak the language is another point...but I would still demand full view over the conversation using mine as a translator 2-ways then...would never accept beeing left out. If Im there I should be his priority nr 1...friends come as nr 2-thats just how it is...or I could just as well go home.

About religion...think its about beeing open and embrace knowledge...doesnt mean that you have to accept it-but respect it! (goes both ways) Its always good to learn...to understand better.Dont know if what I say make any sence I seen to be little tired today.;)
 

KheeKhee

Well-Known Member
#3
I think if meeting as a couple with another couple and they can speak english...its almost rude if they dont. Sure some sentence might slip over, but you should feel you join the conversation.If they dont speak the language is another point...but I would still demand full view over the conversation using mine as a translator 2-ways then...would never accept beeing left out. If Im there I should be his priority nr 1...friends come as nr 2-thats just how it is...or I could just as well go home.

About religion...think its about beeing open and embrace knowledge...doesnt mean that you have to accept it-but respect it! (goes both ways) Its always good to learn...to understand better.Dont know if what I say make any sence I seen to be little tired today.;)
I completely agree with you huttan.
 

KheeKhee

Well-Known Member
#4
I was wondering how do you come to except and live with someone who has a huge culture difference...

They speak a language that you don't understand in front of family/friends even though you may have asked him to speak english? OK, I understand that one should learn the language but doesn't it get fustrating not to be able to understand and then how do you handle it?

When mingling with friends how do you get to socialize when your with his friends ( and their speaking in their language) with no other females around for you to talk to, or does this even occure?

If you are visiting as a couple with another couple how do you handle it if their speaking in their language and you don't understand? Do you stop going on visits with him if it doesn't stop? What if he doesn't speak up to friends and ask them to speak english in front of you? (but then their is no real socialization within the marriage and I can see lots of problems arising)

How do you work with/incorporate their religion believes with yours?
If he can speak your language (I think it is English yes?) if I understand you correctly Raindrops2000, then he has a duty to translate for you, if he does not then I would consider this very rude behaviour for a European to accept.
As for religion, you accept whatever you want or reject whatever you want.:)
 

gem15

Well-Known Member
#5
I was wondering how do you come to except and live with someone who has a huge culture difference...

They speak a language that you don't understand in front of family/friends even though you may have asked him to speak english? OK, I understand that one should learn the language but doesn't it get fustrating not to be able to understand and then how do you handle it?

When mingling with friends how do you get to socialize when your with his friends ( and their speaking in their language) with no other females around for you to talk to, or does this even occure?

If you are visiting as a couple with another couple how do you handle it if their speaking in their language and you don't understand? Do you stop going on visits with him if it doesn't stop? What if he doesn't speak up to friends and ask them to speak english in front of you? (but then their is no real socialization within the marriage and I can see lots of problems arising)

How do you work with/incorporate their religion believes with yours?
Whenever we go out with friends Mr B always translates and if its not him then someone else who speaks english will do it. I dont ever get ignored by any of our friends even if they dont spk english they will spk in french or arabic and we will just get on with it.

Even if his friends speak a little english and they ask me a question he will tell them to spk english and walk away (not in a bad way) so his friends have to make the effort. Most of the time I know what they're saying but I let them try their language skills.

If i come in mid conversation I just let them get on with it as most of the time the conversation isnt interesting. LOL

Regarding the religion its all give and take. Respect is the biggest word in any marriage and some things should be discussed before you take the steps of getting married.
 

KheeKhee

Well-Known Member
#6
Whenever we go out with friends Mr B always translates and if its not him then someone else who speaks english will do it. I dont ever get ignored by any of our friends even if they dont spk english they will spk in french or arabic and we will just get on with it.

Even if his friends speak a little english and they ask me a question he will tell them to spk english and walk away (not in a bad way) so his friends have to make the effort. Most of the time I know what they're saying but I let them try their language skills.

If i come in mid conversation I just let them get on with it as most of the time the conversation isnt interesting. LOL

Regarding the religion its all give and take. Respect is the biggest word in any marriage and some things should be discussed before you take the steps of getting married.
Totally agree with you Gem.
 

KheeKhee

Well-Known Member
#7
It is only polite to translate for the other, if people talk only in their language so the other person does NOT understand it is very rude and wrong and impolite. Why not translate for your friend, your sister, your brother or your love? we all translate for each other.:)
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#8
I was wondering how do you come to except and live with someone who has a huge culture difference...

They speak a language that you don't understand in front of family/friends even though you may have asked him to speak english? OK, I understand that one should learn the language but doesn't it get fustrating not to be able to understand and then how do you handle it?

When mingling with friends how do you get to socialize when your with his friends ( and their speaking in their language) with no other females around for you to talk to, or does this even occure?

If you are visiting as a couple with another couple how do you handle it if their speaking in their language and you don't understand? Do you stop going on visits with him if it doesn't stop? What if he doesn't speak up to friends and ask them to speak english in front of you? (but then their is no real socialization within the marriage and I can see lots of problems arising)

How do you work with/incorporate their religion believes with yours?
I guess it all depends on how you approach it really...for me the fact that he has such a different upbringing, culture and religious viewpoint makes our relationship even more interesting and we both learn new things about each other every day...and as the ladies above have said, as long as there is a healthy respect for each others beliefs then any potential fallouts can be averted.

As far as the language barrier goes...i speak very little Arabic, my in laws speak very little English, yet sometimes when we are over there and staying with them, i can while away about 3 hours sat with my Mother in Law 'chatting' about just about everything...i have no idea how we do it, but we do!! its amazing what you can do when you put your minds to it...we dont need my husband there to translate for either of us, instead we can have a good gossip generally about him anyway, by using the bits of English that she knows, bits of French that i know, sign language and just about anything and everything...and NOTHING is lost in translation.....lol

When we go out then of course my husband translates anything that i dont understand, generally most of his friends do speak English though anyway so no need..but also i think that over a period of time, even if you dont speak Arabic, youve heard certain words and sentences in certain contexts before that you kind of get the gist of what is being said anyway..
 

salim

Well-Known Member
#9
I was wondering how do you come to except and live with someone who has a huge culture difference...

They speak a language that you don't understand in front of family/friends even though you may have asked him to speak english? OK, I understand that one should learn the language but doesn't it get fustrating not to be able to understand and then how do you handle it?

When mingling with friends how do you get to socialize when your with his friends ( and their speaking in their language) with no other females around for you to talk to, or does this even occure?

If you are visiting as a couple with another couple how do you handle it if their speaking in their language and you don't understand? Do you stop going on visits with him if it doesn't stop? What if he doesn't speak up to friends and ask them to speak english in front of you? (but then their is no real socialization within the marriage and I can see lots of problems arising)

How do you work with/incorporate their religion believes with yours?
i throught you have a problem or else you don't trust inside you the person who spooke another language , i am sure your opinion came from a real experience maybe with your hubby ( i suppose that i don't khnow) ! what i can see that you are afraid and many questions turn on your mind ! take thing easy if your partner try evrey time to transalte to you that's good coz it's diffcult to learn arabic for European but sometimes thy do well :)! you need to be more confident and if you don't understand something so ask them to explain to you coz if they were in your place sure you will do that , believe me when anyone look that your are intersted to khnow what's go on then no problem !!!!!!!!!!
Don't make langauge or culture a big trouble for your coz here a lot of girls were in relationship with tunsian man and they looked so happy with their hubby in Tunisia or in here the UK !!!!!!!! It is a question of will to discover another language , to be ready to accept to foothold in a new culture !!!!!!!!!
 

KheeKhee

Well-Known Member
#10
i throught you have a problem or else you don't trust inside you the person who spooke another language , i am sure your opinion came from a real experience maybe with your hubby ( i suppose that i don't khnow) ! what i can see that you are afraid and many questions turn on your mind ! take thing easy if your partner try evrey time to transalte to you that's good coz it's diffcult to learn arabic for European but sometimes thy do well :)! you need to be more confident and if you don't understand something so ask them to explain to you coz if they were in your place sure you will do that , believe me when anyone look that your are intersted to khnow what's go on then no problem !!!!!!!!!!
Don't make langauge or culture a big trouble for your coz here a lot of girls were in relationship with tunsian man and they looked so happy with their hubby in Tunisia or in here the UK !!!!!!!! It is a question of will to discover another language , to be ready to accept to foothold in a new culture !!!!!!!!!
Salim it is not difficult for a European to understand Arabic or the culture.
 

salim

Well-Known Member
#11
Salim it is not difficult for a European to understand Arabic or the culture.
evreyone around the World khnew that arabic is so hard to get it maybe you can understand some word like "nchallah" ,"habibi" but pure arabic and all the diffrent dialect sorry to tell that's true !
 

KheeKhee

Well-Known Member
#12
evreyone around the World khnew that arabic is so hard to get it maybe you can understand some word like "nchallah" ,"habibi" but pure arabic and all the diffrent dialect sorry to tell that's true !
you are patronising me...I am surprised at you Salim! Arabic is not hard at all compared with so many other languages!
 

gem15

Well-Known Member
#13
evreyone around the World khnew that arabic is so hard to get it maybe you can understand some word like "nchallah" ,"habibi" but pure arabic and all the diffrent dialect sorry to tell that's true !
I find Tunisian arabic easier than French. If people dont spk english i prefer them to spk arabic as i know more words than i do french!
 

salim

Well-Known Member
#14
evreyone around the World khnew that arabic is so hard to get it maybe you can understand some word like "nchallah" ,"habibi" but pure arabic and all the diffrent dialect sorry to tell that's true !
For tthe culure , yes i agree with you culutre mean tradition , behavour , history , lifestyle... it easy to make a golbal idea about it from manys soucres INTERNET, travels ; forms like our forum, friends !!!!!!!!But LANGUAGE it seem hard to do it not for EUROPEAN only but for many persons !!!!!!
i can give un example of European that understand and talk arabic i remember the Russian coz they have an excelent relationship with syria so it was a kind of cultural exchange
 

KheeKhee

Well-Known Member
#15
I find Tunisian arabic easier than French. If people dont spk english i prefer them to spk arabic as i know more words than i do french!
again completely agree with you, I speak French and some Libyan Arabic and some Tunisian Arabic, i findArabic a very easy language.
 

salim

Well-Known Member
#16
sorry but PLEASE don't take things as personal !
 

KheeKhee

Well-Known Member
#17
For tthe culure , yes i agree with you culutre mean tradition , behavour , history , lifestyle... it easy to make a golbal idea about it from manys soucres INTERNET, travels ; forms like our forum, friends !!!!!!!!But LANGUAGE it seem hard to do it not for EUROPEAN only but for many persons !!!!!!
i can give un example of European that understand and talk arabic i remember the Russian coz they have an excelent relationship with syria so it was a kind of cultural exchange
Salim, the Arabic language is very easy to understand. What has this to do with Russian?
 

salim

Well-Known Member
#18
WHEN I TALK ABOUT ARABIC LANGUAGE I DON'T TALK ABOUT DIALECT OK WE TALK ABOUT ARABIC LANGAUGE !!!!!! BIG DIFFRENCE
 

KheeKhee

Well-Known Member
#19
sorry but PLEASE don't take things as personal !
I don't take things personal, but please understand Arabic is a very easy language to understand. I think the post was about her boyfriend who refuse to translate for her?
 

KheeKhee

Well-Known Member
#20
WHEN I TALK ABOUT ARABIC LANGUAGE I DON'T TALK ABOUT DIALECT OK WE TALK ABOUT ARABIC LANGAUGE !!!!!! BIG DIFFRENCE
ok don't shout at me:( really I don't know now what you mean? yes I know about dialect and what is your point?
 
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