Marrying a Younger Tunisian Man

[Rosewater]

Thanks Rosewater! Please - more ideas from others here. I'll check back here periodically.

and who told you it's an aganst the law? never heard of that

 

[Ann]

and who told you it's an aganst the law? never heard of that

It was another "Tunisian" website. The site said that cohabitation between unmarried people in Tunisia is considered prostitution under Tunisian law.

I'm doubtful about the authenticity of that statement which is why I'm trying to check it out with people here. My friend also has said that I should not worry about it.

Thanks Rosewater

 

[Rosewater]

It was another "Tunisian" website. The site said that cohabitation between unmarried people in Tunisia is considered prostitution under Tunisian law.

I'm doubtful about the authenticity of that statement which is why I'm trying to check it out with people here. My friend also has said that I should not worry about it.

Thanks Rosewater

oh maybe , and what website ? just curios

 

[gem15]

It is against the law but the country has bigger problems to worry about so doubt anything would happen unless the neighbours really complained.

 

[gem15]

My father in law was much older than my mil but I've not seen the situation reversed.

 

[Ann]

It is against the law but the country has bigger problems to worry about so doubt anything would happen unless the neighbours really complained.

That is a concern that I would have staying with him, gem15. Especially since I don't know how the neighbors will react to me

 

[Rosewater]

It is against the law but the country has bigger problems to worry about so doubt anything would happen unless the neighbours really complained.

That's what i was trying to say , just don't let the neighbours notice anything plus none of their bussnies

 

[Ann]

oh maybe , and what website ? just curios

http://www.tunispro.net/tunisia/man-woman-child-in-tunisia.htm

http://www.tunispro.net/tunisia/marriage-in-tunisia.htm

 

[gem15]

That's what i was trying to say , just don't let the neighbours notice anything plus none of their bussnies

They will make it their business you know how they can be. I'm also surprised you didn't know it was against the law Rosewater as this is your country isn't it?

 

[Rosewater]

They will make it their business you know how they can be. I'm also surprised you didn't know it was against the law Rosewater as this is your country isn't it?

yep ,and didn't know that , i am serious

 

[gem15]

@Ann you must also declare yourself to the local police station if your not staying in a hotel

 

[Ann]

@Ann you must also declare yourself to the local police station if your not staying in a hotel

I had no idea of this, gem15. What do you mean "declare" myself? Is that done at the airport or local police station?

 

[motez]

Nice to meet you!! I'm looking for new friends to make who are familiar with or live in Tunisia. I have a best friend who lives in Tunis or somewhere around there..I have only recently made relations with this person. I am considering a trip in July. i am trying to learn as much as i can about your country before i come.

i can tell you all what you need about my country

 

[motez]

Welcome to the forum Motez.

thanks B-)

 

[motez]

Nice to meet you!! I'm looking for new friends to make who are familiar with or live in Tunisia. I have a best friend who lives in Tunis or somewhere around there..I have only recently made relations with this person. I am considering a trip in July. i am trying to learn as much as i can about your country before i come.

nice to meet you too shelly

 

[gem15]

I had no idea of this, gem15. What do you mean "declare" myself? Is that done at the airport or local police station?

They will need to know where you are staying for your safety. Normally when staying at a hotel you would fill in a card which is a declaration but if u stay independently you will need to go to the local police station

 

[Scottochott]

Hi - this is my first post here. I'm here to learn. I am a similar situation as Shelly and really have to make some decisions about my trip fast. I'm also scheduled to visit Tunis in July. There is a major age difference between myself and my friend. I don't get any negative vibes from him at all - and he says that he does not need my money (and he has not asked for any).

I was scheduled to stay with him but have heard that is against Tunisian law. Does anyone know about this?

I think that I will schedule to stay at a hotel or hostel at least for the first week until I can better understand what I'm walking into. Any suggestions for affordable lodging in Tunis area near Mourouj?

While it would be great to find the love of my life, I'm realistic enough to know that a trip to the USA if we should ever marry may very well be in the back of his mind. I did this once before for a Jamaican friend and have no regrets that I helped him in his time of need.

While I'd love to find lasting personal happiness with this man, I'm willing just to spend my two weeks getting to know him & seeing what real life is like in Tunisia. I have no blinders on. I know what I will see will be much different than what I experience everyday.

I would just like to meet this man in person so I know if there really is a good friendship between us - or not. I can walk away from him at any moment if our friendship turns sour.

I'm just concerned reading all of the insinuations of mental & emotional misuse by Tunisian men toward European/American women. I don't know if this is endemic or if forums like this simply become "b*tch" forums by women who have a hard time saying "no" to a man.

Please post your ideas here for me to read later today as I have to confirm my travel arrangements by midnight tonight for my July visit. Thank You.

This forum takes no delight in pointing out bezness behaviour, but it would be irresponsible not to bring it to new members' attention. It is endemic in Tunisia, before with high tourism levels the guys targeted women they met in resorts, now with the terrorism threat having killed tourism they are targeting women online. If you are an older woman being wooed by smooth words and a cute face, being invited to visit, stay in the family home, protestations of no money or visa required, a full on charm offensive... (sounding familiar yet?) the odds are it's bezness, not real. No decent guy and their family would do this. If you don't know what bezness is, google it. These guys spend all day schmoozing several different women, they are consummate actors and are very convincing. If you really feel you still want to visit Tunisia, check your government's travel advice, and only stay in a hotel, but my advice would be to stay at home and save your money and self respect from being abused.

 

[Ann]

They will need to know where you are staying for your safety. Normally when staying at a hotel you would fill in a card which is a declaration but if u stay independently you will need to go to the local police station

Thanks for this info, gem15. You've been very kind and helpful to me. I should have known this info because even when I travelled to the UK several years ago, I had to declare the same info there with the authorities at the airport.

 

[Ann]

This forum takes no delight in pointing out bezness behaviour, but it would be irresponsible not to bring it to new members' attention. It is endemic in Tunisia, before with high tourism levels the guys targeted women they met in resorts, now with the terrorism threat having killed tourism they are targeting women online. If you are an older woman being wooed by smooth words and a cute face, being invited to visit, stay in the family home, protestations of no money or visa required, a full on charm offensive... (sounding familiar yet?) the odds are it's bezness, not real. No decent guy and their family would do this. If you don't know what bezness is, google it. These guys spend all day schmoozing several different women, they are consummate actors and are very convincing. If you really feel you still want to visit Tunisia, check your government's travel advice, and only stay in a hotel, but my advice would be to stay at home and save your money and self respect from being abused.

While I appreciate your honesty, I find your tone a bit disrespectful of my intelligence and my own experience with dealing with people from the "developing" world, especially men from Africa. It is extensive enough for me to know that I am walking into an unknown experience which could end up being disappointing to me. I am taking as much protection of myself as possible so that any "damage" to me is minimal. I think that should be respected here - not be further degrading to me.

As I said in my original post, I have experienced the "bezness" before in Jamaica and made peace with the fact that a green card was ultimately behind the marriage. At least he was able to bring his two young children to the USA to give them a better life. I can live my decision to help however I could.

The only way that I can figure this situation out is to make the journey and see what happens. If my heart is broken, I can recover.

I appreciate this forum and website tremendously. I have always wanted to visit this region of the world and show respect to its people - and I hope to learn much while I am here.

 

[Jane BM]

While I appreciate your honesty, I find your tone a bit disrespectful of my intelligence and my own experience with dealing with people from the "developing" world, especially men from Africa. It is extensive enough for me to know that I am walking into an unknown experience which could end up being disappointing to me. I am taking as much protection of myself as possible so that any "damage" to me is minimal. I think that should be respected here - not be further degrading to me.

As I said in my original post, I have experienced the "bezness" before in Jamaica and made peace with the fact that a green card was ultimately behind the marriage. At least he was able to bring his two young children to the USA to give them a better life. I can live my decision to help however I could.

The only way that I can figure this situation out is to make the journey and see what happens. If my heart is broken, I can recover.

I appreciate this forum and website tremendously. I have always wanted to visit this region of the world and show respect to its people - and I hope to learn much while I am here.

I don't think any disrespect was meant....however regardless of your experiences in the past you've never been to Tunisia nor have you fallen prey to anyone there.

If you are prepared to fall victim and suffer the consequences then fair enough, go for it...however don't expect to come away after 2 weeks and feel like your curiosity is satisfied and that his feelings for you have been confirmed...that won't happen. Oftentimes it takes an awful lot longer before someone's true colours show...

If your reasons are to help someone out I'd suggest contacting a charitable organisation, the recipients would be far more deserving than someone who claims to be in love with you and want nothing from you.

There is also a very slim chance that he may be genuine, and I say very slim, there are decent men out there, however they're generally not surfing the net inviting people they've never met to come stay with them and then at some point declaring undying love for someone they've never met.

Being invited to stay at the family home is also a red flag, their culture generally dictates that you don't stay at the family home until after you're married....a few exceptions perhaps but it's the general rule of thumb.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, this is coming from someone who IS married to a Tunisian, but I'd honestly advise you to exercise caution and be honest with yourself. Xx