Marrying a Younger Tunisian Man

[Ann]

I don't think any disrespect was meant....however regardless of your experiences in the past you've never been to Tunisia nor have you fallen prey to anyone there.

If you are prepared to fall victim and suffer the consequences then fair enough, go for it...however don't expect to come away after 2 weeks and feel like your curiosity is satisfied and that his feelings for you have been confirmed...that won't happen. Oftentimes it takes an awful lot longer before someone's true colours show...

If your reasons are to help someone out I'd suggest contacting a charitable organisation, the recipients would be far more deserving than someone who claims to be in love with you and want nothing from you.

There is also a very slim chance that he may be genuine, and I say very slim, there are decent men out there, however they're generally not surfing the net inviting people they've never met to come stay with them and then at some point declaring undying love for someone they've never met.

Being invited to stay at the family home is also a red flag, their culture generally dictates that you don't stay at the family home until after you're married....a few exceptions perhaps but it's the general rule of thumb.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, this is coming from someone who IS married to a Tunisian, but I'd honestly advise you to exercise caution and be honest with yourself. Xx

I can't say if disrespect is being meant here or not. I'm finding that some of the people who are posting here in response to me are exhibiting the same sort of negative attributes that they are saying others have in Tunisia!

Jane, you have NO idea of whom I really am - of my experiences in other parts of Africa or with international charitable organizations. Yet, you are making assumptions about me that are unfair.

One, I did not meet this person "surfing the internet". I have never gone to dating or surfing sites. We met online more than two years ago and have steadily increased our communication during that time. It has never been focused on a romantic relationship and, as I have said, I am well aware of the uncertainties I face when I go.

So how some of you are ending up castigating me & portending "doom and gloom" over my trip is a bit shocking for me - as no one knows the future.

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HONEST WITH MYSELF - AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

Thus, what started out one day ago as my first post here to better understand the complexities of making this trip is ending for me as being an embittering experience.

Is everyone associated with Tunisia as negative as I'm experiencing here? I hope that my journey there will prove this idea wrong.

So sorry that I have been "enlightened" about this beautiful culture & its people in the most revulsive ways.

I will post in this thread no more. Thanks gem15 for providing me with the only helpful piece of info that I have received here.

 

[Jane BM]

I can't say if disrespect is being meant here or not. I'm finding that some of the people who are posting here in response to me are exhibiting the same sort of negative attributes that they are saying others have in Tunisia!

Jane, you have NO idea of whom I really am - of my experiences in other parts of Africa or with international charitable organizations. Yet, you are making assumptions about me that are unfair.

One, I did not meet this person "surfing the internet". I have never gone to dating or surfing sites. We met online more than two years ago and have steadily increased our communication during that time. It has never been focused on a romantic relationship and, as I have said, I am well aware of the uncertainties I face when I go.

So how some of you are ending up castigating me & portending "doom and gloom" over my trip is a bit shocking for me - as no one knows the future.

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HONEST WITH MYSELF - AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

Thus, what started out one day ago as my first post here to better understand the complexities of making this trip is ending for me as being an embittering experience.

Is everyone associated with Tunisia as negative as I'm experiencing here? I hope that my journey there will prove this idea wrong.

So sorry that I have been "enlightened" about this beautiful culture & its people in the most revulsive ways.

I will post in this thread no more. Thanks gem15 for providing me with the only helpful piece of info that I have received here.

Does it not strike a chord perhaps that people are actually taking the time (myself included) to offer advise? Do you think we do it because we have nothing better to do? Or is it perhaps that maybe we've all heard it and seen it many times over and SEEN first hand the destruction that is often left in these mens wake? Maybe something for you to think about.

I'm making no assumptions of you, you've already admitted yourself you obtained a visa for a man from Jamaica and gave him a better life, maybe that's your intention with this Tunisian.

If you really want to see And experience the culture and all that is wonderful about Tunisia then why not go under your own steam.....sorry but I've seen too many nightmare scenarios from ladies who are worldly wise, educated and smart and think they know better ending up in desperate situations.

It is an open forum, we will all offer our own personal experiences, some know Tunisia far better than others....if I was in your situation I'd perhaps try to soak it up a little and if nothing else, be wary.....

If you do go, always have a back up plan...

 

[Scottochott]

Seems we have a spate of women asking for opinions but really seeking validation. When they don't get the answer they want they have a tantrum. Maybe they are suited to their Tunisian boys after all, lol!

 

[Trulymadlydeeply]

Welcome to the forum. Can I ask what the age gap is? You obviously met online does your guy work? Why chose online dating? I think from what you have said makes you an easy target. He will tell you he wants to stay in Tunisia, maybe he does but with you funding his lifestyle?! Do you think he would chose s Tunisian woman the same age as you? You can stay in his house but if they the family respected you it wouldn't be tolerated.

 

[gem15]

Advice has been given and its up to Ann if she takes it or not. Most of us on here know what the outcome will be, as with most age gap relationships but no need to take it personal if she persues the relationship.

 

[Moonsky]

No not all tunisians want children , As myself , i don't want to have children in my life

Maybe they don't but never doubt the pressure that will be applied by the Tunisian family. Procreation is the name of the game!!!

 

[Moonsky]

Hi - this is my first post here. I'm here to learn. I am a similar situation as Shelly and really have to make some decisions about my trip fast. I'm also scheduled to visit Tunis in July. There is a major age difference between myself and my friend. I don't get any negative vibes from him at all - and he says that he does not need my money (and he has not asked for any).

I was scheduled to stay with him but have heard that is against Tunisian law. Does anyone know about this?

I think that I will schedule to stay at a hotel or hostel at least for the first week until I can better understand what I'm walking into. Any suggestions for affordable lodging in Tunis area near Mourouj?

While it would be great to find the love of my life, I'm realistic enough to know that a trip to the USA if we should ever marry may very well be in the back of his mind. I did this once before for a Jamaican friend and have no regrets that I helped him in his time of need.

While I'd love to find lasting personal happiness with this man, I'm willing just to spend my two weeks getting to know him & seeing what real life is like in Tunisia. I have no blinders on. I know what I will see will be much different than what I experience everyday.

I would just like to meet this man in person so I know if there really is a good friendship between us - or not. I can walk away from him at any moment if our friendship turns sour.

I'm just concerned reading all of the insinuations of mental & emotional misuse by Tunisian men toward European/American women. I don't know if this is endemic or if forums like this simply become "b*tch" forums by women who have a hard time saying "no" to a man.

Please post your ideas here for me to read later today as I have to confirm my travel arrangements by midnight tonight for my July visit. Thank You.

I have an American friend who got to know a Tunisian man on facebook, and saw Tunisia as an alternative to Turkey where she'd previously tried to settle, but that hadn't worked out.

The man's family decided to "host" her. They said she could come and stay in their home for as long as she wanted to until she found her feet. Only when she'd travelled from Michigan did she discover that the offer of a home was not just a contribution to her food but rent. One of the two brothers constantly pestered her for sex and in the end she had to move out and found herself alone in a strange country without the language or understanding of the leech like mentality. Her story continues....

BEWARE... stay in an hotel. Have someone that you can call if you need help. This is not intended to frighten you but having a good, reliable contact here is ESSENTIAL if you intend to stay.

Good luck.

 

[Rosewater]

Maybe they don't but never doubt the pressure that will be applied by the Tunisian family. Procreation is the name of the game!!!

Listen do u have a problem with Tunisians?

 

[Moonsky]

How strange that you should say that. I have Tunisian friends who are fantastic, decent and wonderful people. However, it is true (and I could quote you hundreds of stories Rosewater) where naïve Europeans/Americans have been lied to, cheated, mal-treated and robbed by Tunisians.

My comments are there for those who come to this country not aware of the dangers. I think I have a "duty of care" towards fellow Europeans/Americans, especially women, so that they do not suffer at the hands of those who wilfully intend them harm.

Also, in this country it is notoriously difficult to find out the law and information. Again, having lived her for some time I have wised up to what is correct as opposed to the lies that some foreigners are told.

Hope that answers your question.

 

[Hilmarun99]

Hi!!
My boyfriend lives in tunisie in sousse , i live in Iceland and i have a son , We wanna start a life togethur here in Iceland and make family and get married , how can he come to me? I really need him to come to me and my son can you help me make a life whit him in iceland? Thank you

 

[Essem]

Hi,

Have a look through the many threads on here to see how difficult it is for your guy to leave Tunisia.

Have you visited Tunisia or did you meet online.

Have you thought of going to live in Tunisia if he cannot get a visa to come to Iceland.

Here are a couple of links where you might find more information:

http://www.consulate-info.com/consulate/5807/Iceland-in-Tunis

• Honorary Consulates of Iceland in Tunisia
• Embassy of Tunisia (based in Stockholm, Sweden)

 

[Hilmarun99]

Hi,

Have a look through the many threads on here to see how difficult it is for your guy to leave Tunisia.

Have you visited Tunisia or did you meet online.

Have you thought of going to live in Tunisia if he cannot get a visa to come to Iceland.

Here are a couple of links where you might find more information:

http://www.consulate-info.com/consulate/5807/Iceland-in-Tunis

• Honorary Consulates of Iceland in Tunisia
• Embassy of Tunisia (based in Stockholm, Sweden)

I have meet him here in Iceland , his brother live here , i wanna live in Iceland forever , he is 22 and Im 19 , i meet him in Iceland and We fell in love

 

[Trulymadlydeeply]

If you met him in Iceland why do you have a problem for him to stay with you there?

 

[Hilmarun99]

If you met him in Iceland why do you have a problem for him to stay with you there?

I alredy have look at this , i meet him in Iceland his brother live here and he was here for visit and i want him to come live whit me , i dont wanna live in tunise i wanna live on Iceland

 

[Hilmarun99]

I alredy have look at this , i meet him in Iceland his brother live here and he was here for visit and i want him to come live whit me , i dont wanna live in tunise i wanna live on Iceland

he Tell me he have hard time to come back.. i Just want him to come again to live whit me and my son , can you help?

 

[Hilmarun99]

If you met him in Iceland why do you have a problem for him to stay with you there?

He is in tunise now and i want someone to help me get him to come back and live whit me forever

 

[Trulymadlydeeply]

It’s basically down to him, he will have to apply for the correct visa it’s an expensive journey. You would have to find out what the visa requirements are for your country. Is his brother married in Iceland, how did he get there?

 

[Hilmarun99]

Yes i think so , were do i go to chekk on visa here on iceland ? Do i go for the bank or something?

 

[Kris]

Yes i think so , were do i go to chekk on visa here on iceland ? Do i go for the bank or something?

errr no.

Call these guys


Icelandic Honorary Consulate General in Tunis, Tunisia

Immeuble SETCAR
GP1 Km 13, Route de Sousse
Ezzahra
Tunis
Tunisia

• TELEPHONE
• (+216) 71 454 299
• FAX
• (+216) 71 453 800
• EMAIL
• [email protected]
• WEBSITE
• OFFICE HOURS
• HEAD OF MISSION
• Mr Ferid Abbas, Honorary Consul General

Basically you will have to apply for a residence permit for him and then

• They are a foreign citizen who is married/in a civil partnership with an Icelandic citizen. The couple must have lived together in Iceland for a minimum of 3 consecutive years from the date of marriage.

You may also find it helpful speaking to your government.

This is Tunisia > Iceland and the rules will be Icelandic rules.

 

[sojo]

salaam the truth? what is the truth? noone can know for sure, they r charming, lovely, and talk with totallt different manners than what you might be used to in the uk. you r in a divorce, you have been in rocky times, you need attention, you wanna be seen, you wanna hear you r valuable. we all do.. men or women, no doubt. 25 yrs, yes, its a lot, would you consider a 20 yr old english boy? kkids is an issue, even u talked abt it, he is 20 yrs, he might want in a few yrs, when he is not "a kid" himself, you must ask yourself what can he do for you, not opposite, im sure u r inlove, but still u r 25 yrs older, and i know for a fact, it is will be talked abt. he is a muslim, may not be practicing now, but he will do down the road, and for a muslim man, kids is his way of and a big part of islam. if, and when he arrives in the uk, all this things will be flt stronger, the way of life, completely different, friends, family, the importance of being somone, will appear stronger, he will feel lost, and " not important" cuz it will all be cuz of you. he will feel the need to be of grat importance, he must show his family, friends and old community, that he did become something. he will maybe have a hard time find work, if he dont have any special skills, and at only 20, i guess he dont have. maybe he will be a buzz boy in a restaurant, or work in kfc, or in a shop, nothing wrong with tht in our mind, but it will be in his after some time, cuz he will do a lot work for minmum wage, and get how hard life in europe really is. and this u may have been talking abt, but the understanding will never come befor he truly xperience it. it is a hard n bumby road ahead. to be inlove is wonderful, but when reality hits, tht when one truly knows love... so you r asking for advice and views, you say u dont look much older, doesnt matter love, u r still 25 yrs older, and it will show, maybe not in a picture, but it real life. to be on vacay, and be happy for some weeks at the time, no problem, but when the shoes is in the hall, its a big difference now , he have everything , friends , family, and the life he used to, when all this will be gone, he will change, and tht is normal, r u up for tht challenge? noone can truly give good advice for others to live their life, but sharing from xperience, we can do. you can only read, and make your own choices, personally, i am all for following the heart, and live in the present, what already gone u want have back, what the futures brings u dont know, but u can be in the present, its all we can do. i only wanna wish u the best of luck with your decission, just make sure u share the same truth, if u can.....

Thank you so much for this answer, it gave me a lot of answers to my own questions and thinking.