pensioner wanting to marry her young cyber tunisian man

veronica-az

New Member
#21
Hi Veronica and welcome to the forum...

Sorry but if you've only met him online then how do you know he doesn't just want a visa? If you've never actually spent time together face to face then how do you know he will make you happy? Sorry to be blunt but you know absolutely nothing about this man apart from what he has told you!!!

I notice you've put your post on a thread which says you're a pensioner....with all due respect why would you imagine the man you've spoken to online wants his future with a pensioner and not someone younger from his own country, what do you have to offer him EXCEPT a visa?

I think you're being incredibly naive and setting yourself up for a HUGE fall......however you have to PROVE to the UKBA that you have a genuine and subsisting relationship...and without having spent any time together I don't see how you can do that....so I'd imagine you'd fall at the first hurdle...

Good luck...
we talk everyday for 2 1/2 months.He tells me everything.he goes to an internet cafe every day so we can talk on webcam.so far he seems only sincere and genuine.he will try to go to france then here but find work in france where he has a cousen and friends.he has brothers and sisters who are all doing well in their jobs.he asks for nothing.Ive tested him by offering a small amount of money he said no you need it no way.so as I said so far hes not blotted his copy book and we both agree even if we never manage to meet we are together in this small way for life.I know how it must sound to you all but it feels different to the person concerned.
 

veronica-az

New Member
#22
And unless a very wealthy pensioner, would she be able to meet the visa requirements for sponsorship?
I am not wealthy.far from it
 

veronica-az

New Member
#23
You are all being very judgemental, she didn`t ask for your opinions, just if there was someone on the forum with similar experiences. You cannot be sure if this is a genuine request or if the young man is genuine, after all, we all seem to accept as real the on-line personnae of members on T.com.
Just saying!
thank you, I was feeling rather got at.Im not silly or stupid or sad, just Ive fallen for him.didnt ask or expect too but after all the unhappiness in my life eg...batterred by father and first husband,and just divorced after 31 years of a dead marriage,no love just someone who admitted i now got on his nerves after various illnesses for so long.and YES AZ knows all about them
 

veronica-az

New Member
#24
I don't see anybody judging her...what I see is a lot of people with various experiences warning her...and rightly so in my opinion. I don't retract a single word of what I've posted....I'd rather someone was pi**ed off with me for being honest and upfront than see another person get ripped off both financially and emotionally....

Nobody has to take anybody's advise on an open forum, however if you make a post on an open forum then you need to be prepared to receive various responses.....good and bad.
I totally appreciate and take on board all questions
 

veronica-az

New Member
#25
I actually hope her story is fiction, as if it isn't, I'm sorry to say she sounds seriously delusional and heading for a fall. :rolleyes:
no its not fictional,why on earth would anyone come here and open their hearts to strangers knowing the most probable answers but hoping someone has had a happy ending
 

veronica-az

New Member
#26
Probably someone with jack sh*t in their life!!!!! Lol
on the contrary I have a lovely home and family.it didnt happen straight away weve talked for 2 months just the odd message then a couple of weeks ago we opened up more to each other and feelings grew.yes I sound stupid but im not maybe after all these years hopeful of a happy ending to at least part of my life.Im surprised so many think im not real.heres my e mail to prove i am only hope this doesnt get ok so is that enough proof for you all its not a hotmail adress see!!!!!
 

veronica-az

New Member
#27
Hi Veronica and welcome to Tunisia.com. Can I ask did he appear as a friend request on a site or were you on a dating site? Is his English very good as you say you have had lovely conversations. I think he is a fantasy and that's what I would keep him as, otherwise I fear yo will end up hurt and broke.

These guys on these dating websites often have loads of tabs open at the same time and are chatting to numerous people at the same time to see who has the most to offer and who will fall for them quickest. I don't mean to sound harsh but you are being used almost 100%!!!! You are ideal as you are a bad traveller, then he has to come here, his route to Europe!!! Enjoy the chatting with him and keep it as just that.
He said hello on facebook not a dating site.thats where we talk.if you dont believe me go look at mrsbored.me thats me
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
#28
I honestly do hope he is genuine Veronica as essem said nobody is judging you we don't know you. The comment I made above was IF this was someone just inventing a story, it has been done before...

I'm so glad you have come back on here and hopefully we can answer any questions you may have should your relationship continue. All the best :)
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#29
Veronica I've edited your post I'm afraid, it's not wise to put your email address on an open forum...could attract all sorts...lol...

Can I make a suggestion..there are many many threads in here regarding relationships with Tunisian men...have a good long read...then perhaps you'll understand why most of us ARE so sceptical...your story and ones like it are nothing new I'm afraid and I can't remember ever having read a success story...with good reason.

You've explained how your previous marriage ended after 31 years and how you were left feeling....and I'm sure some attention from a young good looking guy would be very flattering and make you feel good...boost your self confidence, that's understandable...but please please please take a reality check..and I don't mean to be offensive...you've NEVER met him...you know nothing about him, his life, his family, his friends, and most importantly HIS CHARACTER....only what he ALLOWS you to see!!!

Don't rush into anything, don't be another statistic, enjoy your cyber friendship and what will be will be. I'd HATE to see you broken hearted after already obviously going through heartache with your previous marriage.

Noone is ridiculing or mocking you or anything like that, what you'll see is absolute concern for YOU....
 

Aslemma

Well-Known Member
#30
It's a sad fact Veronica but the reason so many of us are sceptical is because experience has unfortunately taught us to be. Everyone on here knows and loves Tunisia and the many wonderful and honest people there are there. We also know, from either our own experience or that of others we know personally or through this forum, that many have had their lives blighted by men who have robbed them both of money and self-respect in the guise of love. It sounds as if you have not had an easy life, particularly in the latter years. This will naturally have left you vulnerable and we would be less than honest if we didn't point out that some men, not only in Tunisia but in similar places, can sense this and use it to their advantage, often being quite happy to play a long game.

I agree that so far your friend does not ring too many alarm bells, particularly as he has not only refused your offer of money but is considering making his own way out of the country. I would simply leave it at that for the time being. Enjoy your cyber friendship and let it develop at its own pace but don't do anything to facilitate his entry to the UK. At the same time don't let this relationship stop you from meeting other men from your own country, who might be just as lonely as you and longing to meet a lovely lady to complete their life.
 

missmetal

Well-Known Member
#31
It's a sad fact Veronica but the reason so many of us are sceptical is because experience has unfortunately taught us to be. Everyone on here knows and loves Tunisia and the many wonderful and honest people there are there. We also know, from either our own experience or that of others we know personally or through this forum, that many have had their lives blighted by men who have robbed them both of money and self-respect in the guise of love. It sounds as if you have not had an easy life, particularly in the latter years. This will naturally have left you vulnerable and we would be less than honest if we didn't point out that some men, not only in Tunisia but in similar places, can sense this and use it to their advantage, often being quite happy to play a long game.

I agree that so far your friend does not ring too many alarm bells, particularly as he has not only refused your offer of money but is considering making his own way out of the country. I would simply leave it at that for the time being. Enjoy your cyber friendship and let it develop at its own pace but don't do anything to facilitate his entry to the UK. At the same time don't let this relationship stop you from meeting other men from your own country, who might be just as lonely as you and longing to meet a lovely lady to complete their life.
Totally agree with you Aslemma, this is really good advice and I was about to write something similar but you said it! :)
 

veronica-az

New Member
#32
Veronica I've edited your post I'm afraid, it's not wise to put your email address on an open forum...could attract all sorts...lol...

Can I make a suggestion..there are many many threads in here regarding relationships with Tunisian men...have a good long read...then perhaps you'll understand why most of us ARE so sceptical...your story and ones like it are nothing new I'm afraid and I can't remember ever having read a success story...with good reason.

You've explained how your previous marriage ended after 31 years and how you were left feeling....and I'm sure some attention from a young good looking guy would be very flattering and make you feel good...boost your self confidence, that's understandable...but please please please take a reality check..and I don't mean to be offensive...you've NEVER met him...you know nothing about him, his life, his family, his friends, and most importantly HIS CHARACTER....only what he ALLOWS you to see!!!

Don't rush into anything, don't be another statistic, enjoy your cyber friendship and what will be will be. I'd HATE to see you broken hearted after already obviously going through heartache with your previous marriage.

Noone is ridiculing or mocking you or anything like that, what you'll see is absolute concern for YOU....
thank you. much appreciated
 

veronica-az

New Member
#33
It's a sad fact Veronica but the reason so many of us are sceptical is because experience has unfortunately taught us to be. Everyone on here knows and loves Tunisia and the many wonderful and honest people there are there. We also know, from either our own experience or that of others we know personally or through this forum, that many have had their lives blighted by men who have robbed them both of money and self-respect in the guise of love. It sounds as if you have not had an easy life, particularly in the latter years. This will naturally have left you vulnerable and we would be less than honest if we didn't point out that some men, not only in Tunisia but in similar places, can sense this and use it to their advantage, often being quite happy to play a long game.

I agree that so far your friend does not ring too many alarm bells, particularly as he has not only refused your offer of money but is considering making his own way out of the country. I would simply leave it at that for the time being. Enjoy your cyber friendship and let it develop at its own pace but don't do anything to facilitate his entry to the UK. At the same time don't let this relationship stop you from meeting other men from your own country, who might be just as lonely as you and longing to meet a lovely lady to complete their life.
what a lovely message.thank you for taking the time and trouble.appreciated
 

Aslemma

Well-Known Member
#34
Just remember Veronica that all of us wish you well and are only concerned for your welfare. I would just like to tell you a little tale to show that some relationships across the age divide are happy and fulfilling. The other year I met a relatively young Tunisian from Germany in the hotel. He was telling me that his partner of many years had recently died from cancer and he felt utterly bereft. He said she had meant everything to him although she had been many years older and he had nursed her to the end. Perhaps one of the main advantages he had over so many others was that he was well travelled and highly educated. He was a specialist nurse and was in Tunisia to attend a conference.
 
Top