Tunisia has the highest divorce rate

Saule

Active Member
#41
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Exactly.. Many seem like clones.when I tell my friend she thinks I'm describing her man.I do a sixty hr week currently.he's on 35 hrs.shifts that change,at the local pub.I get in at 8.15 and just want to eat and be in bed by 10/30. He comes in 10.30/11 and says you cook? Considering he doesn't eat anything I make ,it would be a waste,and I'm just too tired.but he always asks,and always huffs and puffs when i say no.he's not been taught to be considerate,which is very sad.
Oh Scotty B I wish you all the strength that you have because it's HARD work.....:(
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#42
Oh Scotty B I wish you all the strength that you have because it's HARD work.....:(
Thanks.I think apart from the messiness, I don't like being told what to do.I'd never seen this side of him,but apart from being wrong,it would be like putting a10 year old in charge,as they have no experience of juggling money and paying Bills.
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#43
Oh dear he is making your life more difficult. You must tell him or you will get resentful.
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
#44
To be truthful you don't sound as though you are happy in this relationship. If it's not benefiting you in anyway you need to give him an ultimatum...
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#45
Thanks.I think apart from the messiness, I don't like being told what to do.I'd never seen this side of him,but apart from being wrong,it would be like putting a10 year old in charge,as they have no experience of juggling money and paying Bills.
Money management is a HUGE learning curve for them....can take ages....they don't have a list of direct debits they pay out in Tunisia, insurances, taxes, etc etc....they've generally gone from earning enough to rent somewhere and pay for food and coffee for the month....oh and cigs if they smoke. So them learning to be organised and see further than this week will require time and patience....it IS hard work! X
 

Jillimom

Well-Known Member
#46
Getting back to the original idea of this thread: in my opinion, the high divorce rate is because men and women are not taught to communicate with each other. I have seen so many examples of men who complain about their wives and wives who complain about their husbands but they never actually try to talk to EACH OTHER to figure out the issues. Duh! :banghead: Alhamdoulilah I have a solid marriage to my Tunisian DH but I did have to school him on a thing or two early on in our marriage. ;)
 

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
#47
Money management is a HUGE learning curve for them....can take ages....they don't have a list of direct debits they pay out in Tunisia, insurances, taxes, etc etc....they've generally gone from earning enough to rent somewhere and pay for food and coffee for the month....oh and cigs if they smoke. So them learning to be organised and see further than this week will require time and patience....it IS hard work! X
Just to add to this my feeling a massive factor is the cost of living.

Just like in the UK young people are pretty stuffed with house prices and rents not really reflecting young people's wages.

So you start married life but in reality you're at the whim of parents who are paying out and difference between being single and then having to fork out for kids etc is massive.

The financial pressure on boys is crippling especially. If you don't meet the expectations you wife my coldly bail out asap as life is harder than here in Europe where tax credits etc can help smooth things over.
 

Jasmine

Well-Known Member
#48
But then you find 9 times out of 10, the men who marry European women, they're leaving Tunisia to come to accommodation and furnishings in the wife's home country. The wife may have possibly been supporting him financially prior to him obtaining a visa etc etc. So they have it easier than if they were to set up home in Tunisia. It becomes a huge shock when they see their wage package, and find they're earning a week what they would in a month in Tunisia. But they dont tend to have many obligations (that they see) that stretches further than the nose on their face.

I think the sense of this thread, is how long do you keep saying "its all new to him, hes out of his comfort zone" before the excuses wear off and resentment builds cos he's not able to adapt his selfish behaviour to accommodate his spouse, or the responsibilities he should be fulfilling.

Maybe the question should be how long are you willing to make the excuses / allowances before you start to feel angry and resent the extra pressure you have now the spouse has arrived?

Jillimom hit the nail on the head - talk to eachother rather than about eachother - and if that fails really evaluate what it is you're exactly getting from it all.
 

ROULLA

Registered User
#49
Has anyone watched the you tube clip?
It's so sad how children get caught up in the middle. These children are left scared emotionally, I don't class someone who throws his children out from the house as a man. A real man would have left his wife and children in the house, packed his crap and left... pathetic
 

Moonsky

Member
#50
Getting back to the original idea of this thread: in my opinion, the high divorce rate is because men and women are not taught to communicate with each other. I have seen so many examples of men who complain about their wives and wives who complain about their husbands but they never actually try to talk to EACH OTHER to figure out the issues. Duh! :banghead: Alhamdoulilah I have a solid marriage to my Tunisian DH but I did have to school him on a thing or two early on in our marriage. ;)
Indeed ... almost any café where you DO find a couple (who are married to each other or in a 1-2-1 relationship!) together, there is a rarely a word said between them... she's usually texting on the phone and the man is looking up at the ceiling. Sad really....
 

ROULLA

Registered User
#51
Indeed ... almost any café where you DO find a couple (who are married to each other or in a 1-2-1 relationship!) together, there is a rarely a word said between them... she's usually texting on the phone and the man is looking up at the ceiling. Sad really....
Hi Moonsky, How are you today?
You're absolutely correct, I've seen this myself. What's the point in going for a coffee with your husband if he or she are on their phone's texting. I find this really annoying .. I have to say that I love music and whenever we are in Tunisia I have to see who is in concert. My husband likes music but he doesn't really like a large crowd but he follows me anyway ;)
A few years back we went to see Saber rabai and we all sat in our seats ready for the performance,,,,,,Saber started to sing, the crowd started whistling and singing along.
Someone was filming the audience which was projected on a large screen..
Everyone was standing up and dancing away including me.. The screen started showing everyone where we was and Lord behold, :mad:there was this man sitting next to my son snoring away:( as I looked at the screen closer I realised it was my husband :eek::D.
I went backstage to meet the singer and when I came back he was still sleeping,,,he had slept through the whole concert :p
When I asked him did you have a good time :rolleyes:he said has it started yet:arghh:
 

Moonsky

Member
#52
Hi Moonsky, How are you today?
You're absolutely correct, I've seen this myself. What's the point in going for a coffee with your husband if he or she are on their phone's texting. I find this really annoying .. I have to say that I love music and whenever we are in Tunisia I have to see who is in concert. My husband likes music but he doesn't really like a large crowd but he follows me anyway ;)
A few years back we went to see Saber rabai and we all sat in our seats ready for the performance,,,,,,Saber started to sing, the crowd started whistling and singing along.
Someone was filming the audience which was projected on a large screen..
Everyone was standing up and dancing away including me.. The screen started showing everyone where we was and Lord behold, :mad:there was this man sitting next to my son snoring away:( as I looked at the screen closer I realised it was my husband :eek::D.
I went backstage to meet the singer and when I came back he was still sleeping,,,he had slept through the whole concert :p
When I asked him did you have a good time :rolleyes:he said has it started yet:arghh:
Just a "so-so" day today. However, my friend has found a great new deli so will check it out some time.

It is sad here that they don't do more culturally in the form of art exhibitions or shows; but I do find Tunisians in the main are culturally disinterested. You rarely see them at the historic sites or in the museums, it's normally foreigners.

I've had a friend snore through several art house films in the past ... embarrassing isn't it?

Take care.
 

Rosewater

Active Member
#53
Many tunisian women don't work and want for a husband to take care of them!! bloody wankers!!!, we serious need to get ride of this mentality!!!! ,
 

ROULLA

Registered User
#54
Many tunisian women don't work and want for a husband to take care of them!! bloody wankers!!!, we serious need to get ride of this mentality!!!! ,
Hi Rosewater, can you please stop using inappropriate language, I find it disrespectful, maybe I'm old fashioned.
I didn't quite understand what you was trying to get across, can you please elaborate? When you swore, was you referring to the men in Tunisia?
 

Rosewater

Active Member
#55
Hi Rosewater, can you please stop using inappropriate language, I find it disrespectful, maybe I'm old fashioned.
I didn't quite understand what you was trying to get across, can you please elaborate? When you swore, was you referring to the men in Tunisia?
Sorry I apologize.
I was talking about tunisian women.
There are many Tunisian women Dont wanna work and wait for someone to marry them and take care of them.
I really dislike that
 

ROULLA

Registered User
#56
Sorry I apologize.
I was talking about tunisian women.
There are many Tunisian women Dont wanna work and wait for someone to marry them and take care of them.
I really dislike that
Hi Rosewater, I also don't think that this is correct unless the woman cannot work maybe through a disability or has 4 children to look after at home. Having young children at home, cleaning, cooking and all the rest of it is a 24 hour job.
 

Rosewater

Active Member
#57
Hi Rosewater, I also don't think that this is correct unless the woman cannot work maybe through a disability or has 4 children to look after at home. Having young children at home, cleaning, cooking and all the rest of it is a 24 hour job.
And what if a man can't support his wife and kids?
 

ROULLA

Registered User
#58
And what if a man can't support his wife and kids?
Well firstly in Tunisia the man in specific knows that he has to support his family when he gets married. If however the man has a disability and the wife is able to work then that's different.
The thing is that in Tunisia men marry with their eye's wide open. These thing's need to be disgust from the beginning. I think that it all depends on your relationship as a married couple. Tunisia is not as liberal as the UK so it's slightly different. If a couple are thinking of marrying then they need to discuss their concerns before entering into marriage.
No use in saying that I THOUGHT he or she was going to help. Work these things out first because these are the first steps in to your marriage , you dont want to climb a few steps and fall straight down the ladder from the beginning do you?
 

ROULLA

Registered User
#59
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