Tunisian Romances

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
Keep you job true love waits.

Intercontental relationships cost a lot of money and it never stops!

Get him to come on a visitors visa and then spend some time with each other then go the fiancee stuff once you are sure.

keep working and saving money belive me its not going to get better and better to havea stable job than to come to Tunisia where its not very easy to get a job.

I you have a job savings and are able to sponsor him with your family on board also I cannot see the problem I did this a number of visits with my wife Hajer and she came to see me many times for periods over a month (in seperate rooms of course :).

Its a lot of work its stressful and costs a lot of money but at least you will know you want it if it all works out.
 

sparkle

Well-Known Member
see about a different kind of visa that gives you the options of being together without the pressure although you also have to consider the economy its bnot goign to be easy for any foreigners to get a visa for work at the moment x
 
wot to do?

Hi everyone

Ok, i am really looking for some advice, from anyone, about me and my boyfriend and our relationship. I am especially interested in any advice from those with a tunisian boyfriend/fiance/husband....where either you've moved to Tunisia or they have come here...

Basically, we've been together just over a year. We are the same age (24) and we have both basically decided that we want to be together for the long haul....great. However, its come to that point where, we need to move on in the relationship, with either him coming here, or me going there......we need to live together and be with eachother in a 'normal' un-holiday type setting for a decent period of time, just so we know for definate whether its right or wrong.

I am not stupid, im a degree educated and I have a good job with the police over here and I am a happy person with a lot of oppertunity, a good family etc........and in my mind, it makes more sense for Ahmed to come here and live with me here and work in england and have our life together here.....however.....for this to happen, we would need to get married and then get a visa for him, OR, we would need to get engaged and then he could come here on a fiancee visa and we would still need to marry within 6 months of him being here.

To me, this seems a bit crazy, i would never think of marrying an english guy without living with him first, and really knowing him as much as possible, however, with these european-tunisian marriages....it seems that a lot of women do genuinely get married after having just 'holidays' with their men and I cannot understand this.

This leaves me with a dilemma really, the only thing i can hope to do, is to go over there and live over there with him, perhaps for a year or something and work over there.......maybe live together and just 'be' in a 'proper' relationship for a decent amount of time.....so i know i definately want to get married, then perhaps we can marry after the year or he can then come to england and we can marry here, i dont know.

The main concern i have, is that it will be hard for me to find decent work in tunisia, chances are, i will need a lot of savings to take with me for the year. Also, i will need to have money in the bank over here for when i return....to get me through until i find a job when i get back......ive got my parents who are very supportive.....and im sure would help me on my return......

Has anyone done anything like this before? Would it be a good idea to just save up, quit my job and go and live there for a while.......?

Please any advice would really really be appreciated xx

Hi i met my hubby in feb 2008 we married in september 2008, thats quick i hear you say, yes it is but i spent months out there living with him in our own apartment before and after our marriage. you have to do whats right for you and only you will know what that is,.Work and in particular well paid work is very hard to find. My husband is from Hamammet and he got laid off in October and there is still no sign of any work. I wish you all the best for the future,. We have decided to go for a settlement visa as my life is here as i have a daughter whom is currently in college, even with the economic gloom here, i feel my husband has more chance of getting work here in the uk.
 

[email protected]

Active Member
hi!i must say that i agree with Kris.don't quit your job.it's adifficult period and as you've said the only way of supporting him as a sponsor is to have job and savings.if you can, take a long vacation and live with your boyfriend ,but don't leave your job.
 

sparkle

Well-Known Member
i would never consider leaving your job not at the moment
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
Hi Caley, I have tried twice to reply to this post and it took me soooooo long writing it then changing or adding bits that it logged me out both times. Maybe my advice was not meant to be heard?? Lol x

Anyway briefly......Life here in the Uk is such a contast to life in Tunisia. If it is here that you wish to settle together I would go for the "trial run" here. Best of luck to you both. xx
 

sparkle

Well-Known Member
never more truer words from truly
its so different over here and not in the holiday environment or 'spirit' its back to the real world with a big bump when they come here and its a real test of strength to the relationship x
 

pinklady

New Member
Hi,
i say do what you heart tells you to do!! first of all i went out there for 3 months then i went for 2 months just to see what the lifestyle was like and get used to it and mainly to see if i liked it then i packed up everything here and went out there to live with him for a year we had an apartment and got on with life i saved so i didnt have to work as it is hard getting a job out there!! We both lived on £50 a week when he was out of work but i loved every minute of it im glad i did it!! and it gave us both a chance to get to know the real us then when we were ready we got married and we both came back together to England thanks to the help of my mum and we both started from scratch going to college getting our education and getting jobs, this is his third year here now and im a trainee accountant and hes a trainee firefighter and were both loving it!!!

my moto is to live life to the full and never have what ifs!!! so if this is something you want then go for it and enjoy!!!!!
 

pej

New Member
Most of the time this is not a big problem when a Tunisian man lives with a foreign woman as opposed to a Tunisian woman, but strictly speaking co-habitation is against the Tunisian law. It could mean problems, particularly for the Tunisian party. Someone I knew didn't get charged with anything but a couple of local policemen turned up for a bribe and of course that could become a habit. The landlord could also get legal problems.

When you stay with Tunisians (and don't have residence or are married to the person you are staying with) they need to inform the nearest police station of this, so failing to report a person staying with them could also be a problem.

If you decide to go ahead anyway, keep in mind that flat prices often rise when the tenant is European...

I do not mean to discourage you, if your boyfriend has said he wants to do this then he is doing so while being well aware of the risks - and nothing at all might indeed happen.
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
Hi,
i say do what you heart tells you to do!! first of all i went out there for 3 months then i went for 2 months just to see what the lifestyle was like and get used to it and mainly to see if i liked it then i packed up everything here and went out there to live with him for a year we had an apartment and got on with life i saved so i didnt have to work as it is hard getting a job out there!! We both lived on £50 a week when he was out of work but i loved every minute of it im glad i did it!! and it gave us both a chance to get to know the real us then when we were ready we got married and we both came back together to England thanks to the help of my mum and we both started from scratch going to college getting our education and getting jobs, this is his third year here now and im a trainee accountant and hes a trainee firefighter and were both loving it!!!

my moto is to live life to the full and never have what ifs!!! so if this is something you want then go for it and enjoy!!!!!

Best wishes to you both in your careers and your marriage. You have it pretty much sewn up, well done x x :)
 

maktoub2000

New Member
Hi Caley,

You have been given a lot of very good advice by the people here - I am not sure that I can really add anything useful. Life in Tunisia is so very different from life here and as a tourist on holiday life is very different from the life you lead as the girlfriend of a Tunisian. Many years ago (!) I spent a lot of time with a guy from Djerba (the truth comes out finally!) and the way we had to behave in front of his family and friends was very different to the way his brother could behave with the girl friend who visited him every few months. His brother's girl friend really had no idea of what life in Tunisia was like - she just saw the tourist side of things.

Going to stop now - aware I am rambling and not really making myself clear!!
 

maktoub2000

New Member
Right... let me try again!

I had a similar situation to yours Caley a number of years ago. Not with a Tunisian, but with an Italian. We had been together for four years, but saw each other rarely since he was a Naval Officer and I lived in Tunisia. Like you I needed to know whether things would work outside of a holiday context and so I packed my bags and went to Italy. However, I made sure I got a good job in Italy and for the first year we did not live together. However, I was lucky I could get a job in Italy. I really wouldn't advise giving up work in this country and going to nothing. Where does your boyfriend live? If you have a TEFL qualification the British Council may have a little work for you - however TEFL posts are not well paid and you may not get many hours.

You must do what you want to do. Life is too short and you don't want to have any regrets in the future.

Good luck! x
 

woudlg

New Member
Hi Caley,

Just to throw something else into the pot LOL I'm going to tell you that I'm one who quite literally 'took the plunge' and married my husband after only 7 months of being a couple, about 4-5 trips to Tunisia and nightly telephone contact. We've now been married for a year and a half and have a beautiful baby girl of 7 months. I was 31 when I married, and definitely not naive - I just trusted that our relationship had enough stability, love and shared commitment to take into marriage - in the knowledge that even couples who have lived together for months or even years before marriage can eventually split. I would say that marriage (and living together) has both tested and nurtured our relationship, and we have both grown and altered as individuals within our marriage. None of us ever know what's around the corner, but I can honestly say that we made the right decision for us at the time- which is all any of us can hope to do. Good luck in coming to your decision and always be true to yourself xxx
 

maktoub2000

New Member
Just read what Woudlg has written and agree that you need to be true to yourself. I was 33 when I married and I was engaged after being together 5 months. It is true to say that living together and long relationships before hand are not guaranteed to make a relationship last. This is a tough call for you and I don't think anyone can advise you really. You have to go into what ever you decide to do with your eyes wide open. I really don't think you have to live with someone to test the relationship. I didn't and I have now been married 7 years and have a 4 year old son. The hardest decision may come when/if you decide to marry and you have to decide which country to live in. The guys I was friends with in Tunisia would never have left Tunisia and any non-Tunisian they married would have to have settled in Tunisia.

Are we just giving you more to think about? Sorry!
Good luck x
 

SilverMoonlight

New Member
hi!i must say that i agree with Kris.don't quit your job.it's adifficult period and as you've said the only way of supporting him as a sponsor is to have job and savings.if you can, take a long vacation and live with your boyfriend ,but don't leave your job.



I totally agree with Kris and Lara!!!
 

KIZZEY

Active Member
Hi Caley, I agree with everyone who says don't give up a perfectly good job here especially how the economic climate is at the moment. Even if you lived there for three years with him and found everything ok, it's not to say that it's going to be the same if you came and lived in England with him then. It would be a vast change for him and like you say you would have to start from scratch and he would have to find employment and so you back to square one. Money plays a big big part of these relationships because of the constant going back and phone calls etc. Just my thoughts and good luck what ever you decide xx
 

caley

New Member
Hello all :)

Wow, thanks for replies!!

I dont think i made myself clear really.....i dont want to end up in the UK. I cant stand it here anymore. I would eventually like to live in Tunisia with my 'to be' husband and this is more his wish too.
Previously, he was going to come here on a visitors visa and live here for 6 months, or even a fiancee visa and then we would marry in england AFTER he had had a taste of english life and we had spent alot of time living together......however.....in this financial climate, there really is no point me saving up all this money for visas and for me to keep paying god knows much on flights to and fro....PLUS.....i live with my parents and i could NEVER afford to move out at the moment, and do i really want to live with my partner under the same roof as my parents, no thanks!!

I am going to quit my job in September/October i think. I will have enough saved to have a grand also in the bank for when i get home, plus a good few grand to take out there with me. I am tired of england, i am an educated girl, i have a degree and i have been travelling around the world for one year, so im not so naive that im running away from 'real' life to a fake paradise or anything like that, however, i know in my gut i will never be happy in england. I turned down a good job in tunisia a few months back because i didnt want to leave my family and my job in england, but i now realise that this was a mistake.

I am hopefully, going to re-settle in tunisia in the end. The year together will help us though, ALOT!! at the end of it, we WILL know eachother alot more and we will both be more sure, one way or the other.

If i wanted to come back to england, then i have good parents, who would support me and help me im sure. I would come back to nothing apart from some savings, however, i would KNOW that id at least given it ago, and hey! id have lived in another country for year and gained alot of experience!

Im gonna think about it a lot more, but i dont want to bring my boyfriend to england at all.....i cant imagine anything id hate more at the moment than spending another cold, credit crunch year on this island!!!! xxxx
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
Completely different then Caley, hey if you don't find work right away out there, did you say your house is on the beach in Hamammet? must be an awful thought having to come out of your door and go to the beach every day!! :D :D

Joking aside,I would jump at the chance to do what you're planning Caley (the living in Tunisia for a year,not the marriage bit,lol) run like the wind...................xx
 

caley

New Member
Hahaha!! Thanks Truly.....

I know, waking up in the morning to hear the sea...oh yeah....and the sound of manky stray cats going through our bins! haha.

I dunno, joking aside too, im not trying to get all 'peace man' on ya but i do feel a lot closer to my soul over there if that makes sense, like, i can actually relax....and believe me its not just because i am on holiday.....i have raced around all day with Ahmed and cleaned and been busy as a bee sometimes, buts its so good to know at the end of the day, youre coming home to the person you love and its actually warm outside and people are wearing tshirts without coats!! haha.. (although i have been there in winter too and it can get freezing)......it sounds strange but when i think about my life and what i actually want from my life.....its to be with someone i love and who loves me the same and to just spend everyday knowing i have this and to just earn enough to get by and live comfortably.....theres no massive expectation out there to have a 50 inch plasma tv or the newest Ipod/Car/Jeans.....its more basic and having lived out of a backpack in asia for a year....im good with basic!!

God, ive just applied for a part time bar job as well as my full time job here, im going to try and save as much as i can!! xx
 
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