What is "normal" for a relationship with a Tunisian man?

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
Kassie can't you read them like a book... You can always be 2 steps ahead as they seem to follow a pattern. YAWN... You're over him girl, high 5 to you
 

Jellycat

Well-Known Member
kassie,
as it was an e-card he didn't even have to pay the price of a stamp and paying £2 odd in Clintons. You're worth more than that.
 

kassie

Well-Known Member
Could it be that he's possibly not getting what he wants where he is or he's trying to reel you in again to prove to himself how much you still care for him, only to do the same to you further down the line?

He may be dangling the emotional carrot at the moment to see if you'll bite and maybe he wants to teach you a lesson for getting over him (and getting on with your life) because deep down he'll not believe that you are.

Don't entertain him again Kassie, as it would only be worse next time and you'd have lost even more of your precious time and life. XX
Absolutely Essem...lol I can say....this does not "touch" me at all! I have no intention of "going back!" This is over! Thank you everyone for your support and Essem for being here for me.
 
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kassie

Well-Known Member
Kassie can't you read them like a book... You can always be 2 steps ahead as they seem to follow a pattern. YAWN... You're over him girl, high 5 to you
Aww....when I read you....I burst out laughing! You speak the truth! Yawn.....yessssss over him and the book is on the shelf! ;)
....thank you for the high 5 Truly...
xxxxx
 
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kassie

Well-Known Member
kassie,
as it was an e-card he didn't even have to pay the price of a stamp and paying £2 odd in Clintons. You're worth more than that.
Yess Jelly....I AM worth more! xxxxx
 
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kassie

Well-Known Member
This is just something ....special...for my special friends here! :)
xxxx
Have a great weekend! xxx
 

BELLO2014

New Member
WELCOME TO TUNISIAN LIFE LOOL
 

svitlana

New Member
I'm in Tunisia for 3 weeks - the longest time I have spent over here in one chunk, staying in an apartment with my Tunisian fiance of 3 years. It's a bit rocky as in many ways this is a practice run for life together, and we're even driving around at the weekends looking at where we might like to live in the future. Both our expectations are being tested.

Last night we had a Frank and Open Exchange of Ideas (ie a row/tiff/argument) about money. I feel like a bank at the moment. Every time we settle down for the evening (he's working during the day) and I start to get comfortable, he mentions money. It's either for petrol, or he wants us to go shopping for clothes for "both of us". I'm freelance at the moment and barely scraped together enough money to pay for this trip and he knows this, so I'm finding the constant pestering extremely annoying. (As, to be fair, I would even if I did have money.)

I tried bringing this up with him and his attitude was basically "easy come, easy go". He doesn't "think like that" and if he has money great, and if he doesn't well, c'est la vie. I pointed out 1. that "easy go" doesn't work when there is also no "easy come", and 2. we're talking about MY effing money here!

That was 2 days ago, and I left it there, until last night when just as we were getting comfortable (he has this position when we sit together on the sofa that seems to be his "ask for money" position) he started up again. I told him that I feel like a bank - as we never seem to pass a single day without him asking me for something. He adopted a hurt look and said that he will never ask me for anything again - he "made a decision" and that was that. OK?

We talked a bit more and he said that all relationships involve helping one another, so I pointed out that yes, they do, but OUR relationship involves me helping him and not much coming the other way!

He told me to go on my forum and ask the women here what is "normal" for their relationships, and what I should expect as a UK woman in a relationship with a Tunisian man. Well, personally I believe that each relationship should find its own balance, and I told him so, but I also would like to know what you all think.

Is it normal to be constantly badgered for money, clothes, a "little" gift for an uncle who has lent us his car (that would cost me £40 when currently I earn minimum wage)?

He doesn't buy me anything. He presented me with a rose when I arrived this time, but only because I told him I wanted one. He thinks they are a waste of money. Other people mention little gifts their partner gives them, and although he does pull his weight helping with the cleaning etc, he's as tight as a duck's behind when it comes to spending money on me.

He supposedly paid a portion of the rent for our apartment by taking an advance on his salary, but I only have his word for this. We had originally discussed him putting 250 TD into the kitty for food etc, and I was fine with that since he was contributing what he could, but he now says he spent it (and more) on the extra rent the guy charged us since we moved in mid-week. Again, I only have his word for that and he was very blase about how he would pay back the advance next month, which made me suspicious, since he supposedly needs every penny of his income to keep his family afloat, yet he can suddenly get by on less?
I'm with my bf live together for 2 years in canada hid from tunisia and I'm from Ukraine. His always say his love me but his student here and always spand time with girls in the school. When I stay with him on the phone and his go with some girl his torn off his phone . I'm really tired about they but can't do nothing bc love him with true love . That's why I came here to check who is tunisian guys.
 

Jasmine

Well-Known Member
I'm with my bf live together for 2 years in canada hid from tunisia and I'm from Ukraine. His always say his love me but his student here and always spand time with girls in the school. When I stay with him on the phone and his go with some girl his torn off his phone . I'm really tired about they but can't do nothing bc love him with true love . That's why I came here to check who is tunisian guys.
Why does he turn his phone off? Has he introduced you to these girls? If he has, How / what has he introduced you AS? His girlfriend? Room-mate?
 

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
Just think about this.

Your posting on a forum about your boyfriend.

Tunisian guys are like all guys and people are unpredictable.

I love my wife and been married 10 years do i trust her yes but could Michael Fassbender turn up one day and whisk her away.... maybe but unlikely.

You could think your boyfriend was the best boyfriend ever and he could be having an affair but keep it under wraps.

The most important thing is are you happy? does his attitude with these girls make you feel worse or are you jealous/unreasonable.

For example when I was 20 I had a nice girlfriend who was the life and soul of the party everyone loved her very flirty strange men would come up to me and say how lovely my girlfriend was or she would be leading a drunken conga with a batch of sailors......I hated it ....so that was that it was my problem but I never felt comfortable or trusting in that relationship.

I never expect people to change for me, nor do I expect people from Tunisia to be any different to people from any other country.

If your not happy put yourself first and find a man you do feel comfortable with.
 

ann88

New Member
Ive lived in Tunisia over 7 years now and married nearly 4 yrs and my husband has never asked or expected money from me. When i was working here, the money we earned was our money and we both shared the expenses. We both paid for our house to be done up so we are equal. Normally a Tunisian man wont ask his Tunisian wife for money quite like what he is doing with you.

Why do you need new clothes every day or even every week?

Im sure the uncle would be happy with petrol left in his car rather than a small gift.

Everything is 50-50 in a marriage not one sided and I have to agree with Essem.....Run for the hills.
hi there :) would you please be able to talk with me privately? many, many thanks :)
 

Leah2019

New Member
I was on holiday minding my own business when A lifeguard at the hotel caught my eye he smiled at me and we talked for awhile and exchange social media as we have been talking every day since he phoned me in the morning he rings me before he goes to coffee he rings me when he finishes work and he always messages me he has told me that he loves me and he cannot live without me but is this true he never likes to see me sad when I’m in tears here he always pays for everything I have not met his family yet I have spoken with his mother over the phone but obviously not much English she’s always sending me greetings and a kiss whenever I speak with him can I trust him or is it too early to tell it’s only been a month he is very protective over me and I have put it straight across to him that I will not be part of any of this love rat game and he reassures me is not a game he is genuinely in love with me but is he just saying that to make me feel good x if there is any help that anyone can help me with to find out if he is genuine or not please let me know do you not want to be played for a fool !?
 

Sif

New Member
Hi Leah2019,

has he asked for money? Does his mother understand English well? Does he want you to go live with him? How often do you speak and how long?
 

Kris

Administrator
Staff member
I was on holiday minding my own business when A lifeguard at the hotel caught my eye he smiled at me and we talked for awhile and exchange social media as we have been talking every day since he phoned me in the morning he rings me before he goes to coffee he rings me when he finishes work and he always messages me he has told me that he loves me and he cannot live without me but is this true he never likes to see me sad when I’m in tears here he always pays for everything I have not met his family yet I have spoken with his mother over the phone but obviously not much English she’s always sending me greetings and a kiss whenever I speak with him can I trust him or is it too early to tell it’s only been a month he is very protective over me and I have put it straight across to him that I will not be part of any of this love rat game and he reassures me is not a game he is genuinely in love with me but is he just saying that to make me feel good x if there is any help that anyone can help me with to find out if he is genuine or not please let me know do you not want to be played for a fool !?
Maybe he is the one...

But statistically it's not likely.

Unfortunately intensity could mean either scenario.

Is there a big age gap?

He may very much like you if your are close to his age etc etc however it may not be about the money now as there is bezness short game (cash/presents), and there is bezness long game VISA.

For example a hard working manual job like a basic chef here in the UK pays 9-11£ per hour thats 40 dinars per hour x 40 = 1500+ a week x or 70-100,000 dinars a year + NHS etc

I am not up to speed on Tunisian wages these days but i do not think a life guard would get more then 800/1000 dinars a month 200/300£

You can ask on Tunisianloverats.com or search on there and see if his name comes up or indeed the hotel he works at.

Alternatively when its low season if you have a good looking friend send her to Tunisia to watch him for a few weeks to see if he has one every week ;-) might be the best couple of hundred you ever spend.

In all honestly who can tell? When I was a young man I was a **** sometimes when i was single and I was not a sexy Tunisian lifeguard working in a hotel teeming with horny tourists. I am sorry sexy lady I have a girlfriend I text in the UK.......hmmm he is a better man than me.

Have fun take your time and see how it goes.

Its unlikely to work so dont let yourself get taken in.

If it does work out you then have the fun of thousands of pounds of bills + forms + a husband who may be mr sexy in Tunisia but once he starts moaning about work on you sofa in the UK he may loose his initial appeal....Or god forbid you do all the work and he gets a good job and you thanks is a divorce and 18 year old wife from his mums town.
 

TulipsFromTooting

New Member
Hi Leah, another good thing to consider is just taking the distance and cultural differences out of the equation entirely. Put yourself first. If you were dating a guy in the UK and he behaved this way, would you accept it? Would you like it or would it send alarm bells ringing? Your intuition led you to post here, it doesn't have to mean he is playing you but it means something inside of you is urging you to look after yourself and proceed with caution. It's only been a month, I would definitely advise waiting a while and seeing what happens when the first hint of adversity comes up and how he deals with that. You may see a side of his character that you weren't expecting.
 

Leah2019

New Member
Hi Leah2019,

has he asked for money? Does his mother understand English well? Does he want you to go live with him? How often do you speak and how long?
No he never asks for money only my happiness and my heart his mother understands some words but not alott and no he hasn’t ask me that yet it’s too early to be saying stuff like that and I speak to him everyday on the phone atleast 6 times a day x
 

Leah2019

New Member
Maybe he is the one...

But statistically it's not likely.

Unfortunately intensity could mean either scenario.

Is there a big age gap?

He may very much like you if your are close to his age etc etc however it may not be about the money now as there is bezness short game (cash/presents), and there is bezness long game VISA.

For example a hard working manual job like a basic chef here in the UK pays 9-11£ per hour thats 40 dinars per hour x 40 = 1500+ a week x or 70-100,000 dinars a year + NHS etc

I am not up to speed on Tunisian wages these days but i do not think a life guard would get more then 800/1000 dinars a month 200/300£

You can ask on Tunisianloverats.com or search on there and see if his name comes up or indeed the hotel he works at.

Alternatively when its low season if you have a good looking friend send her to Tunisia to watch him for a few weeks to see if he has one every week ;-) might be the best couple of hundred you ever spend.

In all honestly who can tell? When I was a young man I was a **** sometimes when i was single and I was not a sexy Tunisian lifeguard working in a hotel teeming with horny tourists. I am sorry sexy lady I have a girlfriend I text in the UK.......hmmm he is a better man than me.

Have fun take your time and see how it goes.

Its unlikely to work so dont let yourself get taken in.

If it does work out you then have the fun of thousands of pounds of bills + forms + a husband who may be mr sexy in Tunisia but once he starts moaning about work on you sofa in the UK he may loose his initial appeal....Or god forbid you do all the work and he gets a good job and you thanks is a divorce and 18 year old wife from his mums town.
That’s is really sad thing to hear I hope he is genuine it’s not about the money for me he is 25 and I am 28 but I am not getting married to him straight away I have told him that and he hasn’t asked me to marry him either we are both still trying to get to know each other’s and we are leaving as that at the moment I have so much love for him and the moment and things look good and only time will tell x
 

Leah2019

New Member
Hi Leah, another good thing to consider is just taking the distance and cultural differences out of the equation entirely. Put yourself first. If you were dating a guy in the UK and he behaved this way, would you accept it? Would you like it or would it send alarm bells ringing? Your intuition led you to post here, it doesn't have to mean he is playing you but it means something inside of you is urging you to look after yourself and proceed with caution. It's only been a month, I would definitely advise waiting a while and seeing what happens when the first hint of adversity comes up and how he deals with that. You may see a side of his character that you weren't expecting.
He hasn’t actually done any wrong to me what’s soo ever I am just very safe guarded and do not want to get hurt we are taking things slow but like you said it’s only been a month we will see x
 
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