Why you married a tunisian man ???

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#41
You will find a way to deal with this...Sounds like he is sulking or trying to punish you for the argument...you don't need to be sorry so you can keep your head held high and go about your normal day...he will soon unignore you once he notices his silliness has no impact upon you...I feel sorry for you..you just want him to appreciate things and be a bit more tidy it's not much to ask...xx
Awww..thank you for understanding.there's a mysterious dent in my newish silver fridge freezer too.I think I'm more upset about that.x
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#42
Awww..thank you for understanding.there's a mysterious dent in my newish silver fridge freezer too.I think I'm more upset about that.x
How did he manage that one??
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#43
How did he manage that one??
He denies it.says " its been like that a long time".as if.I clean it ,and its shiny and very noticeable.he has a tendency to throw his phone in temper,and anything else to hand. X
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#44
He denies it.says " its been like that a long time".as if.I clean it ,and its shiny and very noticeable.he has a tendency to throw his phone in temper,and anything else to hand. X
I'm sure you know but this kind of "hot" temper seems to be tolerated a lot in Tunisia...I made it very clear from the beginning that this sort of behaviour I found unacceptable. I said I didn't do it and I didn't want it in my life....No wonder your fridge is dented if he can't control himself....be careful :( ..you may have a tolerance to this behaviour...but I don't think I could - that was a definite deal breaker for me...I think of myself as strong but all that unpredictable throwing things in temper - no thanks...you must be feeling really stressed :( x
 

Jasmine

Well-Known Member
#45
@scotty_bambam What's making you stay in this?

Is it the fear of what other people will say? "told you so" stuff?
Is it the thought of the expense and sacrifices YOU made in doing the visa process?
Hope he'll change?

You wouldnt be a failure if you decided to run whilst you can. You dont deserve to be walking on egg-shells in YOUR home. It sounds like you have inherited a teenager not a husband to be honest.

I dont know you or your relationship, but what I have read the last few weeks saddens me. You set the bar and if he cant reach it, ask yourself whether you can see this changing or working out for YOU in the long-term. If the answer is no, then cut your loses now before he sucks the life from you even more.
 

Selmi

Active Member
#46
no at all your welcome i like to discuss things with others maybe im a rat but no one knows me but i accept everything i was an athletic for 5 years and a footballer for 2 years so i have really fairy play hhhh
E'toile by any chance ! May be Manchester United next now your in the UK !!
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#47
I'm sure you know but this kind of "hot" temper seems to be tolerated a lot in Tunisia...I made it very clear from the beginning that this sort of behaviour I found unacceptable. I said I didn't do it and I didn't want it in my life....No wonder your fridge is dented if he can't control himself....be careful :( ..you may have a tolerance to this behaviour...but I don't think I could - that was a definite deal breaker for me...I think of myself as strong but all that unpredictable throwing things in temper - no thanks...you must be feeling really stressed :( x
Yes shazza i am.I feel more lonely than I did when he was in tunisia.the signs were there,but I thought he'd appreciate a nicer life and be willing to learn. But he doesn't listen to my advice on anything.and when I ask him to reheat food in the microwave he refuses and uses a frying pan ,making mess at midnight that I have to clean ,or leave and have dried on grease all over the cooker.he puts the oven on for half a baguette.so wasteful.he's angered by what he sees as my penny pinching ways.he says I hate that you say expensive all time.I said it was me being like this that got you here.I'm dreading the gas and electricity bills..his suitcase is still by the bedroom door ,half packed.so many other issues, but the anger is the worst thing.so moody in the morning that he doesnt talk atall.
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#48
@scotty_bambam What's making you stay in this?

Is it the fear of what other people will say? "told you so" stuff?
Is it the thought of the expense and sacrifices YOU made in doing the visa process?
Hope he'll change?

You wouldnt be a failure if you decided to run whilst you can. You dont deserve to be walking on egg-shells in YOUR home. It sounds like you have inherited a teenager not a husband to be honest.

I dont know you or your relationship, but what I have read the last few weeks saddens me. You set the bar and if he cant reach it, ask yourself whether you can see this changing or working out for YOU in the long-term. If the answer is no, then cut your loses now before he sucks the life from you even more.
Jasmine you've hit the nail on the head exactly.its all of the above.so many people sceptical and waiting for it to fail.I'm by no means perfect and have my own issues.anxiety,depression and emotionally needy,which I've only really discovered through counselling that's ongoing. But still,to be told go to doctor you not normal on a daily basis is not nice.I don't know what I'll do,but I've told him if he ever hits me that's it.
 

June

Active Member
#49
Jasmine you've hit the nail on the head exactly.its all of the above.so many people sceptical and waiting for it to fail.I'm by no means perfect and have my own issues.anxiety,depression and emotionally needy,which I've only really discovered through counselling that's ongoing. But still,to be told go to doctor you not normal on a daily basis is not nice.I don't know what I'll do,but I've told him if he ever hits me that's it.


Send him packing!! Final put it in front of your gate !!! that'll get him rethinking his position! Ungrateful I'm on holiday and plan on staying like that child. Makes me so angry .
 

Selmi

Active Member
#50
Jasmine you've hit the nail on the head exactly.its all of the above.so many people sceptical and waiting for it to fail.I'm by no means perfect and have my own issues.anxiety,depression and emotionally needy,which I've only really discovered through counselling that's ongoing. But still,to be told go to doctor you not normal on a daily basis is not nice.I don't know what I'll do,but I've told him if he ever hits me that's it.
I am sure everyone will be supportive, as most of us know how hard the journey is and every day life is not always a walk in the park ! You mentioned that your husband works in a pub? Is he drinking by any chance? As that isn't going to help his anger issues x
 

gem15

Well-Known Member
#51
Jasmine you've hit the nail on the head exactly.its all of the above.so many people sceptical and waiting for it to fail.I'm by no means perfect and have my own issues.anxiety,depression and emotionally needy,which I've only really discovered through counselling that's ongoing. But still,to be told go to doctor you not normal on a daily basis is not nice.I don't know what I'll do,but I've told him if he ever hits me that's it.
People would support you and respect you more as your being completely honest about your situation. If you hide it as your worried about what people think then your surrounded by the wrong people. Theres no need to hide your situation as that's not admitting it. I hope it all works out for you but you really sound like it's going downhill very fast.
 

Jasmine

Well-Known Member
#52
Jasmine you've hit the nail on the head exactly.its all of the above.so many people sceptical and waiting for it to fail.I'm by no means perfect and have my own issues.anxiety,depression and emotionally needy,which I've only really discovered through counselling that's ongoing. But still,to be told go to doctor you not normal on a daily basis is not nice.I don't know what I'll do,but I've told him if he ever hits me that's it.

You have nothing to prove to ANYONE. No-one knows what your life is like behind closed doors. If you stay in this further you're going to be in a complete rut. Whatever self-respect and self-esteem you have now intact use that to get yourself into safety. You are sounding like a victim of domestic violence right now - and remember that covers emotional abuse also.

Who is perfect? :D But you're already experiencing some rather unpleasant behaviour, it wont stop until he's broke you and then what are you going to be left with to pick up the pieces. Sometimes, someone emotionally draining you is far worse than someone physically sapping you.
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#53
Jasmine you've hit the nail on the head exactly.its all of the above.so many people sceptical and waiting for it to fail.I'm by no means perfect and have my own issues.anxiety,depression and emotionally needy,which I've only really discovered through counselling that's ongoing. But still,to be told go to doctor you not normal on a daily basis is not nice.I don't know what I'll do,but I've told him if he ever hits me that's it.
To be fair my husband told me I wasn't normal either ha ha but it's just not his normal. I would tell him that his idea of marriage is far from yours. He isn't making you happy and actually life was far better without him in your life. You could even turn it back on him and say that he is angry all the time which shows he isn't happy either. Tell him that you believe in effort and support and rather not live with someone who feels like an enemy. Be strong. Be serious and tell him to move out....he will have someone from the pub to move in with...
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#54
Most importantly keep speaking about it...
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#55
I didn't think it could get any worse.I just took him to the dentist and after a lengthy examination he was told he needs 2 wisdom teeth removed at the hospital,s number of fillings and a root canal.the root cabal would cost £233. Or he could have extraction .he said I want to go home.you lied to me you say it will cost £30.. I said no I told you extraction £50 which you didn't want and root canal more expensive. He walked out.I said you must pay.he said you psy.then outside shouting and swearing at me.what did I do? He walked off ,so I went and got petrol and saw him on the road and parked in front of him.hr walked straight past.he was drinking a red bull,which is a new one on me,and last thing he needs.I agree I am suffering domestic abuse.I always blame myself because of my own issues, I always think I'm over reacting.but this at the dentist ead unreal. No way was that my fault.
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#56
I didn't think it could get any worse.I just took him to the dentist and after a lengthy examination he was told he needs 2 wisdom teeth removed at the hospital,s number of fillings and a root canal.the root cabal would cost £233. Or he could have extraction .he said I want to go home.you lied to me you say it will cost £30.. I said no I told you extraction £50 which you didn't want and root canal more expensive. He walked out.I said you must pay.he said you psy.then outside shouting and swearing at me.what did I do? He walked off ,so I went and got petrol and saw him on the road and parked in front of him.hr walked straight past.he was drinking a red bull,which is a new one on me,and last thing he needs.I agree I am suffering domestic abuse.I always blame myself because of my own issues, I always think I'm over reacting.but this at the dentist ead unreal. No way was that my fault.
Leave him to it....he is lucky you took him to the dentist...don't do another thing...turn off your phone and get on with your day..I know you still care but you now need time for yourself.do something you want to do...
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#57
To be fair my husband told me I wasn't normal either ha ha but it's just not his normal. I would tell him that his idea of marriage is far from yours. He isn't making you happy and actually life was far better without him in your life. You could even turn it back on him and say that he is angry all the time which shows he isn't happy either. Tell him that you believe in effort and support and rather not live with someone who feels like an enemy. Be strong. Be serious and tell him to move out....he will have someone from the pub to move in with...
I've had that calm talk with him .you are not happy with me so why don't you go and live with your friend in Birmingham.he said I came here to be with you if I left you I would go back to tunisia
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#58
I've had that calm talk with him .you are not happy with me so why don't you go and live with your friend in Birmingham.he said I came here to be with you if I left you I would go back to tunisia
Well let him...I bet he doesn't.
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#59
Well let him...I bet he doesn't.
He isn't caring about you...so you need to shut off that responsibility you feel for him..he is an adult not a child....think about you not him. He is being entirely selfish I'm afraid. He is trying to bully you..
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#60
He isn't caring about you...so you need to shut off that responsibility you feel for him..he is an adult not a child....think about you not him. He is being entirely selfish I'm afraid. He is trying to bully you..
Yes I agree.I feel bullied. He walked home.he's in the bathroom texting me telling me its my fault because I didn't explain.I'm fed up of mothering him.even in the dentist he held out his sunglasses for me to hold I said no .nobody holds my sunglasses. Did the Same in a shop the week before with his jacket.I just looked the other way.lol
 
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