Why you married a tunisian man ???

Shazza100

Active Member
#61
Yes I agree.I feel bullied. He walked home.he's in the bathroom texting me telling me its my fault because I didn't explain.I'm fed up of mothering him.even in the dentist he held out his sunglasses for me to hold I said no .nobody holds my sunglasses. Did the Same in a shop the week before with his jacket.I just looked the other way.lol
I suggest you turn your phone off and if your not at work go out...have lunch by yourself somewhere or just go and look around the shops. Don't respond to him....texting from the bathroom...seriously! You don't need all this high drama, pls don't pander to his immaturity..
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#62
Were both off today so can't get away.lol.plus I nerd to tskr him to the hospital as we dont normally share a day off.
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#63
Were both off today so can't get away.lol.plus I nerd to tskr him to the hospital as we dont normally share a day off.
I don't agree. Why can't you get away? Why do you need to take him to hospital...it's tough, your still thinking about him over you...he can find his own way to the hospital, he will just think he can treat you like this and you still help him...personally I'd go and enjoy my day off without all of that.
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#64
Scotty, a lot of what you're saying will possibly resonate with quite a few of us when their partners first arrived. The hand holding, the exhaustingly tiresome having to explain about the cost of living, having to adapt to actually living together day in day out in a culture that is so different to Tunisia.....

However, the anger, the verbal lashings he's giving you, those aren't normal, the childlike immaturity..(well they can all be that sometimes to be fair). You've clearly lived independently for a while now and he's never really had to seriously consider anyone else either....that's hard to suddenly expect you both to gel...

But if the bad is outweighing the good and you want to walk away, then you walk away....we only get treated how we allow ourselves to be treated, you're not his mother or his keeper. It's only you who has to walk in your shoes, so don't give a stuff about what other people think, just think about what's right for you.

I know you've said he's working....does he contribute financially towards the household?
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
#65
Jasmine you've hit the nail on the head exactly.its all of the above.so many people sceptical and waiting for it to fail.I'm by no means perfect and have my own issues.anxiety,depression and emotionally needy,which I've only really discovered through counselling that's ongoing. But still,to be told go to doctor you not normal on a daily basis is not nice.I don't know what I'll do,but I've told him if he ever hits me that's it.

Unfortunately, when it's emotional abuse no-one can see the bruises or even imagine the long term effect it's gong to have on you. And this is what he is doing, emotionally abusing you. Do you really want to wait until he does hit you or worse?
 

June

Active Member
#66
I've had that calm talk with him .you are not happy with me so why don't you go and live with your friend in Birmingham.he said I came here to be with you if I left you I would go back to tunisia
And u know why he said that! Because no one else would put up with his sorry ass! Send him back to Tunisia! I'm not joking u this is not going to change no matter what you think! I see too many of these guys doing the exact same! Scotty_bambam if u were listening to a girl/woman speaking exactly like what your doing about her partner, u would tell her to move on! Wouldn't u? So now tell yourself you are worth more than this! Do not feel pity for him! Get him a plane ticket outta England instead of a root canal!
 

salimlov

Active Member
#67
E'toile by any chance ! May be Manchester United next now your in the UK !!
Yes thats right i remember i alreday said that here
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
#68
He isn't going to change scotty. I bet he was like that in Tunisia maybe you just didn't notice so much?

You sound almost broken you need space. It would be less expensive to buy him a flight home ONE WAY!!!!
 

Trulymadlydeeply

Well-Known Member
#69
image.jpeg
Yes thats right i remember i alreday said that here
My son played for Tunisia U17s last year in the African Cup Qualifiers. He will be going back again in August :)
 
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scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#70
Scotty, a lot of what you're saying will possibly resonate with quite a few of us when their partners first arrived. The hand holding, the exhaustingly tiresome having to explain about the cost of living, having to adapt to actually living together day in day out in a culture that is so different to Tunisia.....

However, the anger, the verbal lashings he's giving you, those aren't normal, the childlike immaturity..(well they can all be that sometimes to be fair). You've clearly lived independently for a while now and he's never really had to seriously consider anyone else either....that's hard to suddenly expect you both to gel...

But if the bad is outweighing the good and you want to walk away, then you walk away....we only get treated how we allow ourselves to be treated, you're not his mother or his keeper. It's only you who has to walk in your shoes, so don't give a stuff about what other people think, just think about what's right for you.

I know you've said he's working....does he contribute financially towards the household?
Finances! That was a major argument yesterday resulting in him packing his bags again.I live on s very tight budget and had to borrow money from my brother to psy for not only visa ,but associated costs like English lessons anfd test flights for delivering papers and flight home etc etc.I borrowed £4,000 and agreed I would pay back £100 a week.my husband I'd working but only offering £100 a month,so I'm paying it which will leave me with nothing.the money he gives for the home covers half rent,council tax, utilities,£130 a week. Hr got s job after 1 week due to my efforts.and his argument is that many don't find work for 6 months so I'm lucky I'm getting anything.he says his friends only give 2 or 3 hundred s month and get money back for cigarettes. And he said" you know I don't like cheap clothes" I said when you were in Tunisia you said j eilk work hard to make your life easier. And he's saying I lied about him paying back the visa.even got me to speak to his friend in Birmingham who said your married,why should he have to pay the money back! I told him from day one I didn't have this money. Anyway after this argument he said he wanted to go bowling I said only if u pay.he said how much,I said ten pounds. When we got there I asked for fries and a drink.felt weird not having my purse on me.after he wanted to play the slots but only had 97 pence left ,so we came home.I don't want to live like this but I don't feel emotionally strong enough at the moment to cope with him going x
 

Jane BM

Well-Known Member
#71
Finances! That was a major argument yesterday resulting in him packing his bags again.I live on s very tight budget and had to borrow money from my brother to psy for not only visa ,but associated costs like English lessons anfd test flights for delivering papers and flight home etc etc.I borrowed £4,000 and agreed I would pay back £100 a week.my husband I'd working but only offering £100 a month,so I'm paying it which will leave me with nothing.the money he gives for the home covers half rent,council tax, utilities,£130 a week. Hr got s job after 1 week due to my efforts.and his argument is that many don't find work for 6 months so I'm lucky I'm getting anything.he says his friends only give 2 or 3 hundred s month and get money back for cigarettes. And he said" you know I don't like cheap clothes" I said when you were in Tunisia you said j eilk work hard to make your life easier. And he's saying I lied about him paying back the visa.even got me to speak to his friend in Birmingham who said your married,why should he have to pay the money back! I told him from day one I didn't have this money. Anyway after this argument he said he wanted to go bowling I said only if u pay.he said how much,I said ten pounds. When we got there I asked for fries and a drink.felt weird not having my purse on me.after he wanted to play the slots but only had 97 pence left ,so we came home.I don't want to live like this but I don't feel emotionally strong enough at the moment to cope with him going x
But it's him being there that's emotionally draining you....nothing else.....all these stories you're saying, they're all ringing loud alarm bells to me.

And who the hell is the friend in Birmingham?? He needs to butt out too....
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#72
I know.he runs to him for every little thing.but even the friend said to Me all these problems I'm hearing seem like just small things.I said ,they are,but its his temper over reacting and blowing things out of proportion. All I hear is other peoples wives not ask for the visa money,other peoples wives not ask for money,other people's wives very nice.
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#73
Well why doesn't he go and find one of these very nice wives then. Blimey, i expected a battle over money with my husband not about him contributing but the amount and I'm so pleased to say that hasn't happened. He would give me his last penny to pay his share. As the visa....why should you pay this? I can't even believe he is trying this on and using a friend to bully you. My husband wouldn't have made it to a husband (we got married here) if I got a sniff of that attitude...and even if he said that now, I would tell him to get out. It's madness that he even says this.
 

Shazza100

Active Member
#74
Well why doesn't he go and find one of these very nice wives then. Blimey, i expected a battle over money with my husband not about him contributing but the amount and I'm so pleased to say that hasn't happened. He would give me his last penny to pay his share. As the visa....why should you pay this? I can't even believe he is trying this on and using a friend to bully you. My husband wouldn't have made it to a husband (we got married here) if I got a sniff of that attitude...and even if he said that now, I would tell him to get out. It's madness that he even says this.
He doesn't sound like someone who loves and cares for you...you say you cannot cope with him going emotionally but how is this relationship enhancing your life? For me, you are not fighting over small things...these are important values about life in general that you are fighting over and I'm sorry to say he wants to do what he wants to do with no consideration of you and wants your help money and otherwise when it suits him....what happens if you had a very serious money problem...would he step up...doubt it. How are you even having a nice evening out together with all this underlying stuff...did YOU even want to go bowling...
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
#75
Sorry to say this Scotty but seems like the writing is in the wall already.

He probably won't believe that you had to borrow money to get him here. If he had any sort of conscience and if he really cared about you, he'd be insisting that this was all paid back and be contributing all he could to clear your debt. As it is, he's deliberately ignoring it. He, like so many of them, believe that you managed to live and pay bills before he came so why not now and why do you need his contributions.

You are having to carry him financially, he has used you and will continue to do so for as long as you allow him to.

If you felt things weren't quite right before he came over, maybe you should have listened to your instincts

Your emotionally drained as it is, sound like you're walking on eggshells most of the time. Are you living in hope that things will change?

'He' packed his bags - what a cheek! You should be the one to send him packing.
 

Essem

Moderator
Staff member
#76
And after all the determination and resolve to get him here, what exactly are you getting out of the relationship?
 

June

Active Member
#77
Finances! That was a major argument yesterday resulting in him packing his bags again.I live on s very tight budget and had to borrow money from my brother to psy for not only visa ,but associated costs like English lessons anfd test flights for delivering papers and flight home etc etc.I borrowed £4,000 and agreed I would pay back £100 a week.my husband I'd working but only offering £100 a month,so I'm paying it which will leave me with nothing.the money he gives for the home covers half rent,council tax, utilities,£130 a week. Hr got s job after 1 week due to my efforts.and his argument is that many don't find work for 6 months so I'm lucky I'm getting anything.he says his friends only give 2 or 3 hundred s month and get money back for cigarettes. And he said" you know I don't like cheap clothes" I said when you were in Tunisia you said j eilk work hard to make your life easier. And he's saying I lied about him paying back the visa.even got me to speak to his friend in Birmingham who said your married,why should he have to pay the money back! I told him from day one I didn't have this money. Anyway after this argument he said he wanted to go bowling I said only if u pay.he said how much,I said ten pounds. When we got there I asked for fries and a drink.felt weird not having my purse on me.after he wanted to play the slots but only had 97 pence left ,so we came home.I don't want to live like this but I don't feel emotionally strong enough at the moment to cope with him going x
I'm sorry but it's you that needs your head tested! Why are you letting him do these things? Why are u putting up with these? For God's sake u are a grown woman! I swear if I knew his name is show him a thing or two!! I'm getting so angry about this piece of work that's giving all the rest of them a bad name! My husband saying this is atrocious the way he is carrying on in her country! Please you show him who's who! This is what will make u2 or break u2 but as far as I'm concerned he's on the look out for no.1 and that's him! My husband always makes sure I feel comfortable wherever we go! Otherwise we leave! And that's for him to judge he wants the best for me! And u 2 should be getting that scotty_bambam
 

Selmi

Active Member
#78
I know.he runs to him for every little thing.but even the friend said to Me all these problems I'm hearing seem like just small things.I said ,they are,but its his temper over reacting and blowing things out of proportion. All I hear is other peoples wives not ask for the visa money,other peoples wives not ask for money,other people's wives very nice.
Then he should of ran to his "bezzie" when he needed finance for his visa, Rather than you take a loan from your brother couldn't the so called friend of helped out ? Mates rates and all ! Hopefully you will find some inner strength to stand your ground and actually confront him. So all of this can be resolved. Best wishes xx
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#79
Then he should of ran to his "bezzie" when he needed finance for his visa, Rather than you take a loan from your brother couldn't the so called friend of helped out ? Mates rates and all ! Hopefully you will find some inner strength to stand your ground and actually confront him. So all of this can be resolved. Best wishes xx
Thank you.I've confronted him many times and that leads to all the drama.it did get physical last night,he pulled his fist back to me but doesn't use it.I think he's a Coward at heart. He pushed me and I fell to the floor,and I realised I'm not scared if him so I jumped up and pushed him a couple of times.today I've got three bruises I said look what you did he showed no concern,just started inspecting his arms.of course there was nothing there.I just need to GEF emotionally stronger and I will do what I have to do.
 

scotty_bambam

Well-Known Member
#80
I'm sorry but it's you that needs your head tested! Why are you letting him do these things? Why are u putting up with these? For God's sake u are a grown woman! I swear if I knew his name is show him a thing or two!! I'm getting so angry about this piece of work that's giving all the rest of them a bad name! My husband saying this is atrocious the way he is carrying on in her country! Please you show him who's who! This is what will make u2 or break u2 but as far as I'm concerned he's on the look out for no.1 and that's him! My husband always makes sure I feel comfortable wherever we go! Otherwise we leave! And that's for him to judge he wants the best for me! And u 2 should be getting that scotty_bambam
Yes I've realised nothing matters to him except him.he's just thrown a tantrum because he found dog hair on his top.. The tops now in the bin..I've never experienced such juvenile behaviour before.just need to find the strength to do the right thing.
 
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